| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| MikeJ |
Posted - 11/20/2006 : 04:19:48
10 practices for a healthy back, mind, and spirit
If you have emotional baggage, there are ways to help unpack that toxic load and keep it from building up again, says Ann Kearney-Cooke, Ph.D., author of Change Your Mind, Change Your Body. The following steps will provide your entire self--back included--with some much-needed stress relief:
1 get plenty of rest. When you skimp on sleep, your ability to handle stressful emotions decreases. Small problems can send you over the edge more quickly.
2 prioritize the demands on your time, By overcommitting, you have fewer inner resources to cope with challenges. Figure out what activities are really essential and concentrate on those.
3 know yourself. Things in the past (an unfaithful spouse, a miscarriage) color your reactions to current events. "It's like wearing emotional sunglasses," says Kearney-Cooke. Knowing your prejudices can help you recognize inappropriate responses.
4 acknowledge your anger. That doesn't mean yelling obscenities. Instead, explore your feelings in a journal. Recognizing negative emotions can help you dispel them.
5 distract yourself from stress. Call a good friend, head out for a walk, or rent a funny movie.
6 don't sweat the small stuff. It can be tempting to react angrily when someone cuts you off on the highway or snubs you at a party. But stewing over minor insults will only impede your happiness.
7 limit your frustration. If you've suffered a blow like getting passed over for a job, allow yourself to feel hurt and angry. "But put a limit on it," says Kearney-Cooke. "When the time expires, get on with your life."
8 develop an inner applause meter. Your spouse, kids, and boss won't always appreciate you, so call their attention to major efforts. But sometimes the satisfaction of a job well done is its own reward,
9 get plenty of exercise. A brisk half-hour on the treadmill boosts feel-good brain chemicals. "It won't solve your problems, but it will help release your anger," says Kearney-Cooke.
10 eat healthy. Comfort foods high in fat and sugar may reduce stress hormones in the short run. But in the long-term, a well-balanced diet contributes to better brain chemistry and emotional stability.
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| 6 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Wavy Soul |
Posted - 11/21/2006 : 05:45:30
Also, re #6, I just sent my first snippy e-mail back to my sister after a typical patronizing attack message from her.
But it was a very contained snippiness: I asked "Is this a caring or a disapproving question?"
Then I wrote out a long angry "boundaries" letter to her that I probably won't send, because I don't really want to have this escalate and create more fixation. But I am aware that by not even acknowledging how much her attitude has pissed me off my whole life, I have probably become "sicker."
Wrote about this in another thread.
Thanks Mike for the 10 things.
Love is the answer, whatever the question |
| Wavy Soul |
Posted - 11/21/2006 : 05:41:19
I've been following a policy - mostly - of harmlessness on the outside, but trying to make sure I acknowledge and deal with the emotions on the inside or with appropriate friends/therapist/journal. And change the beliefs.
For me it's all about this: feel and acknowledge the feelings and change the beliefs. If I only do one of these, the loop continues.
So, for example, I feel rejected by someone. If I immediately say, Oh, it's okay, what you think of me is none of my business, then I'm probably suppressing my feelings. But if I can really feel and acknowledge the feeling (anger, sadness, fear) as actual energy that wants to be acknowledged and unresisted so it can move, then I CAN change the belief. And that combination keeps things moving.
Except with my darn teeth.
"It's one **** thing after another."
"And how do you feel about that?"
" F***g angry! ANGRRRRRY!"
" Hmm. I hear you."
" Thanks. I guess it's really one blessed thing after another, if I think about it."
Love is the answer, whatever the question |
| armchairlinguist |
Posted - 11/20/2006 : 11:36:49
I disagree with 6 to some extent, too. Certainly we shouldn't overreact and start or perpetuate a negative situation, but I feel that these "innocuous" events that trigger anger are a release valve for repressed anger and can be useful in that sense. I often try to redirect the anger to the real problems (that are enraging the unconscious), or at least think about them. Or I just allow myself to feel angry about the small event for a while and vent a little, to let off steam.
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Wherever you go, there you are. |
| Redsandro |
Posted - 11/20/2006 : 07:08:22
When being more nuanced, you're right. I kind of fast-read and quick-reflected, but in the end I'm not being an agressive driver or snap like that.. only when people are being stupid. I hate that.
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Do not base your joy upon the deeds of others, for what is given can be taken away. |
| MikeJ |
Posted - 11/20/2006 : 06:57:40
It's true - letting yourself being walked all over will lower your self-esteem. But bitching right back at people, although it may feel good at first, will only perpetuate the problem. (and you'll feel worse in the long-run). There's a difference between standing firm and yelling at people out of frustration!
It's easy to fool ourselves into thinking we've accepted frustration on the surface and yet still harbor resentment and hatred inside. That's a sign that we haven't really accepted it. Because if you want to react and say something, but you just bite your lips and grit your teeth because you want to avoid confrontation, then that's a sure way to lower your self-esteem. "Why didn't I say sommething?", I think is entirely different than not sweating the small stuff, which is not even having the need to say something in the first place!
I think balancing #6 with #4 is a good idea. |
| Redsandro |
Posted - 11/20/2006 : 06:14:10
I will have to disagree on 6.
I always accepted any anoyances people give me and acted the 'smart' guy that ignores it, wanting to avoid confrontation wich contributed to me being a people-hater.
Now I bitch right back a lot more to any minor irritation, and it feels so darn good, I really think this behavior positively influences my recovery.
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Do not base your joy upon the deeds of others, for what is given can be taken away. |
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