| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| LitaM |
Posted - 11/19/2006 : 08:00:37
Hi everyone, this is my fourth attempt at posting?????? I am 39, (F)have read all Dr. Sarno's books, read Back sense. Believe that the pain is from my mind. My pain is mid back , paraspinal muscles. It is unbelievable in the morning, feet also ache. Never had back pain before and used to be a competive bodybuilder. Still exercise, don't let back or feet stop my life. Pain is just terrible upon awakening, so I never can sleep in. If I awaken during night to use bathroom, I feel okay. If I believe why won't the pain go away?? It started at 34 years of age. After having two children, last child born at 31. Any ideas??? |
| 14 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| LitaM |
Posted - 11/21/2006 : 12:42:55
Thanks,
I have tons of things to be angry with from my childhood. I think that I just have a lot of responsibilities and deep down in my subconcious I am angry. Just like Dr. Sarno explains. I will keep working, thanks for your advice. |
| whitris |
Posted - 11/21/2006 : 09:27:21
you wonder why you are in pain in the morning....
This isn't particularly insightful, but I suspect that you are working on things while you sleep, in your dreams, and in the morning it is all there in your body. Your subconscious is let loose as you sleep and is not happy about something. You have listed the perfectionism and stresses of raising a family...journaling about that may be enough.
Some things you might also try. Sit in a relaxed place and focus on your painful body parts and give those parts a voice. What are they trying to say to you? Let them speak. Give them a mouth and let them talk away. This I think can help to bridge the mind-body divide.
When you access anger and sadness, are there things you can do to reduce it? For example, if you do all the housework and feel anger about that, it is one thing to acknowledge that anger...it is another to talk to your spouse and say, "hey, you are going to help me, dammit." Often there are effective things we can do, but don't even try, because we are afraid. However, things we can't change that make us angry, we have to learn to accept and simply aknowledge. Figure out which is which. Your heart and mind knows already.
One other thing I recommend is age regression stuff (Eric Erickson and John Bradshaw, etc). Remind yourself that as an infant you needed unconditional love, as a toddler boundaries, as a preschooler competence, as a schooler friends, as a teen a clear identity, after that intimacy, etc. Different needs begin at different ages and stay with us our whole life. Check in with each key need and you may find something worthwhile.
Above all, reject the physical stuff...it is not worth your time.
You are well on the road to recovery! |
| armchairlinguist |
Posted - 11/20/2006 : 21:47:55
Lita, you asked about changing your personality. You may be relieved to know that Dr. Sarno says it's not necessary to do that in order to heal. You may want to do it anyway! I have also come to be very frustrated with my perfectionist tendencies. As I work more with my inner child I can deal with the two conflicting desires (of the child and the perfectionist) better and be more balanced. But it's something to worry about later; you can focus on feeling healthier first.
Best to you.
--
Wherever you go, there you are. |
| LitaM |
Posted - 11/20/2006 : 11:20:19
Hi,
Thanks tt. I had a good conversation with my brain this morning, and my back does feel better. I am going to really work on understanding my repressed anger. I'll try journaling.
I understand Dr. Sarno's work, I meant that I just wished more doctors would be open to his ideas. I'll keep reading the boards.
Thanks |
| tennis tom |
Posted - 11/20/2006 : 11:00:40
Thanks for that list MikeJ, sounds like the story of my life, (and many others also--"the human condition".
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"I wish that they would do more research on TMS, so that everyone had more access for help."
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Hi Lita,
The research has been done! Dr. Sarno and his associates have proven his TMS theory over 30 years of clinical research, having a very high success rate with thousands of patients cured.
Everyone does have access for help, all they have to do is read his many self-help books. If that doesn't work, he suggests the kind of psycho-therapist to seek out. If that doesn't work, one may make a pilgrimage to a TMS doctor that calling his office he will refer one to. AND there is also THIS message board. There is a "Success Story" thread that attests to the many board "cures".
Your posts are almost 100% discussing the physical realm. You are playing into the hands of the gremlin. Dr. Sarno's TMS method is to SHIFT your thinking, when you feel pain, from the physical to the psychological/emotional. You are NOT doing this. To be blunt you are missing the point.
If you have been a competitive body-builder, the weight you have put on your joints is infinitely greater than any stress you may put on them by exercising on hard-pavement versus a treadmill. I have been a gym-rat as well as a martathon runner and I don't see anyway a treadmill versus asphalt could be a factor.
Good Luck,
Have patience,
Good things take time,
tt
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| LitaM |
Posted - 11/20/2006 : 07:11:55
Thanks Little Bird and Mike,
My back wasn't as thight this morning. I was reading Sarno's book before bed. But, then I think to myself, for the past 3 days I have been doing my walks on my treadmill instead of outside on the sidewalk. Maybe the impact is much greater on the cement and more shock obsorption on the treadmill. Then I have been icing my feet twice daily for pain. They felt better. Isn't there such a concept of pain from over use or from the impact on the body from hard surfaces.
Is it also possible to have pain in a few areas at a time. Like today my right rotator cuff muscles feel a little irritated, plus slight same place back discomfort. I always feel as though my spine is jammed. I wish that they would do more research on TMS, so that everyone had more access for help. Thanks everyone. |
| MikeJ |
Posted - 11/20/2006 : 04:08:33
quote:
I know I have tendency for perfectionism. How can you change your personality?
I also had those annoying perfectionist tendencies and I found the best way to change it was to catch myself in the act. Changing a habit takes conscious effort and it's not easy. I still struggle at times but by using constant repetition and remembering the big picture, I can allow myself to relax more and understand that perfectionism is just silly.
I also try to remember the bad consequences of perfectionism - which is a great motivator!
quote:
What are some negative consequences of perfectionism?
Examples of the negative consequences of perfectionism include:
Low self-esteem. Because a perfectionist never feels ``good enough'' about personal performance, feelings of being a ``failure'' or a ``loser'' with a lessening of self-confidence and self-esteem may result.
Guilt. Because a perfectionist never feels good about the way responsibility has been handled in life (by himself or others) a sense of shame, self recrimination, and guilt may result.
Pessimism. Since a perfectionist is convinced that it will be extremely difficult to achieve an ``ideal goal,'' he can easily become discouraged, fatalistic, disheartened, and pessimistic about future efforts to reach a goal.
Depression. Needing always to be ``perfect,'' yet recognizing that it is impossible to achieve such a goal, a perfectionist runs the risk of feeling down, blue, and depressed.
Rigidity. Needing to have everything in one's life perfect or ``just so'' can lead a perfectionistic to an extreme case of being inflexible, non-spontaneous, and rigid.
Obsessiveness. Being in need of an excessive amount of order, pattern, or structure in life can lead a perfectionistic person to become nit-picky, finicky, or obsessive in an effort to maintain a certain order.
Compulsive behavior. Over-indulgence or the compulsive use of alcohol, drugs, gambling, food, shopping, sex, smoking, risk-taking, or novelty, is often used to medicate a perfectionist who feels like a failure or loser for never being able to be ``good enough'' in life.
Lack of motivation. Believing that the goal of ``change'' will never be able to be ideally or perfectly achieved can often give a perfectionist a lack of motivation to attempt change in the first place, or to persevere if change has already begun.
Immobilization. Because a perfectionist is often burdened with an extreme fear of failure, the person can become immobilized. With no energy, effort or creative juices applied to rectify, improve, or change the problem behavior in the person's life, he becomes stagnant.
Lack of belief in self. Knowing that one will never be able to achieve an idyllic goal can lead a perfectionist to lose the belief that he will ever be able to improve his life significantly.
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| HilaryN |
Posted - 11/19/2006 : 20:28:43
quote:
(LitaM)
Just…
Sounds like a lot…
It would be good to find a way of recognising and dealing with unconscious anger you may have.
Have a read of Penny’s post here (3rd post from bottom):
http://tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=2494&whichpage=2&SearchTerms=WWMICD
Hilary N |
| tennis tom |
Posted - 11/19/2006 : 19:01:23
Thanks Littlebird!  |
| LitaM |
Posted - 11/19/2006 : 17:45:47
Hello Everyone,
Thanks for the responses. I don't have any major stresses in life. Just a husband on shift work, two busy kids, a house to run etc. etc. I feel the need to do everything that I do correctly. I know I have tendency for perfectionism. How can you change your personality? I haven't a clue how I will get rid of these spasming muscles. Sitting here at the moment I feel fine. The total discomfort is when I awaken only. Once I am up for a while it is fine. Once I had a masseuse tell me that the muscles are so tight that she could almost strumb them. I get so frustrated reading all of those stories about people who just read the books and then no more pain. Why can't I have that.
I have to get out of bed just to stretch, I can never sleep in. Crazy isn't it! |
| Littlebird |
Posted - 11/19/2006 : 14:47:16
Hi Lita,
I found it interesting that you feel okay if you wake up during the night, but then hurt in the morning. When I wake up in the night I'm often relieved to see that it's not actually morning yet and that I can go back to sleep. There was a time in my life when I'd wish that it was morning already so I could start the day. Now I notice that many days I wake up with a feeling of not really wanting to spend another day doing things I'd rather not be doing and not having the time and energy for things I would like to do.
As much as I love my family, the demands can be a bit much at times. It can be hard to get to a point of being able to say that our loved ones may be causing us to have repressed anger, but it's probably a common source for many of us. Other sources can be a job, or coworkers, or any other people we may deal with regularly. Tom's suggestion to check out the list of stressful events is a great place to start.
I've made some good progress, but still have a ways to go. If you can read through some of the threads you'll get a sense of the time and effort that many people put in before getting major improvement. It's definitely worth the time and effort though! And the support and learning here on the forum is a big help.
Tom--if I posted a comment every time you make me laugh my name would be all over the board. Smoke signals! I guess they would have been pretty reliable, but I still like my cell phone. |
| kevin t |
Posted - 11/19/2006 : 14:27:43
Im in that class of people. I first posted here a week ago after reading Sarnos book for the first time that I ran for the first time in 5 years and sat for 4 hours after 5 months of not sitting ONCE.Right now some of my symptoms arent letting up and YES its a fight.I believe this will be more work than overnight success.I was just so happy at my first stage of healing by just reading the book once that I thought I would be done with pain in another few days.Boy was I wrong.I didnt know I had to actually WORK at this.LOL
As a newbie myself ,all I can say is keep working this cuz Im a huge skeptic of most things in life and I saw differences myself that defied physics and biology.
Good Luck |
| HilaryN |
Posted - 11/19/2006 : 11:55:13
Hi Lita,
Welcome and well done for persevering!
When you read Dr Sarno's books you get the impression that the pain should go away straight away as soon as you have understood the concepts. But for many of us it takes longer to recondition ourselves and it can take a while before there is any significant difference.
Hilary N |
| tennis tom |
Posted - 11/19/2006 : 10:00:23
Welcome Lita,
I would recommend starting by looking at page 26 of THE MINDBODY PRESCRIPTION, the Rahe-Holmes list of stressful life events that can produce dis-ease through the mechanism of internal rage.
Are you experiencing any of these TMS causing events?
Having to try four times to post here could be a small contributor to your TMS stress resorvoir. For a physical person like yourself, a competitive bodybuilder, dealing with the tecnho-geek world of pencil-necked devices like computers doesn't help. I don't think computers will be here to stay until they have "ON-OFF" switches like everything else on the planet. As far as cell-phones, smoke signals were more reliable.
Good Luck,
tt |
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