| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| nporat |
Posted - 11/17/2006 : 11:24:17
Hi All,
Ok, I need your help. How do I stop obsessing that structurely something is not wrong? I have had Cat Scans, MRIs, Bloodwork, Xrays all negative. I know it is emotional but I can't stop obsessing about MS. I also fear that because I think about it so much I will give it to myself. This needs to stop, I need to start living and stop worrying about diseases. Any reassuring thoughts? Also, my therapist says that I suffer from extreme guilt/anger and that I feel I should be punished for some reason. Can anyone relate?
Nikki |
| 6 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| wrldtrv |
Posted - 11/18/2006 : 22:55:24
nporat,
You sound EXACTLY like me. I've gone over this several times i the past. Search under "neuro" or "ms".
To briefly recap, on two occasions four years apart, I had various pains and neuro symptoms that led me to the whole battery of tests for MS (brain MRI's, EMG's, blood tests, and all the rest). Like you; negative. Both times, after several months, the symptoms disappeared.
Okay, to put this into perspective, here's my history. I am a hypochondriac (making great progress on that). I am EXTREMELY sensitive to physical symptoms of any kind. I have a very active imagination. I know quite a bit about medical matters, diseases, conditions... Preceding each of these neuro episodes was a long period of severe stress. Put all these facts together and it is not at all surprising that I experienced these "neuro" episodes! I have had other periods of feeling sure I had cancer, hypertension, and other things I can't recall at the moment. Ironically, you would have a hard time finding someone my age (52) who is as objectively healthy and fit (and young-looking) than I. My battles with disease are all in my head.
Okay, you said you have ALWAYS been afraid of MS. Isn't that curious? And you say you have had the "tingling" since you were a kid. Well, based upon that alone, you can surely rule out MS because as someone else said, MS is progressive. I don't know how old you are now, but if you really developed MS as a kid the symptoms would have progressed to the point now that you would have no doubt.
Try to embrace the TMS method. If nothing else it will get you to start thinking psychologically about physical symptoms. That was one of the most valuable things for me. Also, regular exercise. In fact, last year, right in the middle of that "neuro" episode I trained for and ran my 12th marathon. I did it simply to force myself to challenge my fears. I figured if I could train for a marathon in that condition I probably didn't have it. Later, I did several 14-ers (mtns in CO) at very fast pace as a further test. Each time I challenged the fear of disease, I felt stronger, more confident. Yes, I still have the occasional flutter of doubt and fear about MS, but nothing like before.
Of course, there is the symptom imperative and I have had my share of replacement symptoms along the way, but that's to be expected. One battle at a time. |
| tennis tom |
Posted - 11/17/2006 : 21:29:12
Hi Nporat,
You mentioned you were in therapy. Is it with a TMS threapist?
Have you read Dr. Sarno's THE DIVIDED MIND? Sections of it deal with treatment, therapy and how TMS threrapy is somewhat different than other styles of psychotherapy.
Regards,
tt |
| Littlebird |
Posted - 11/17/2006 : 17:10:53
According to what I've read, MS symptoms can be intermittent and can be exacerbated by stress, but that fits TMS also. Do you only have these symptoms when you are under stress? Although stress exacerbates MS symptoms, it would probably be unlikely that someone with MS would only experience symptoms during stress, especially over time. MS is a progressive disease, so it would be common to develop new symptoms or a worsening of the symptoms over time. Again, that's based on things I've read. I don't have any sort of medical training.
Since you started having symptoms as a child, if it was MS you would most likely have developed more symptoms by now or developed signs of demyelination that could be detected by the tests you've had done. Have you ever worried about having any other diseases or has your concern always been focused on MS? I can see how hearing about it as a kid and realizing that some of the symptoms fit your experience could lead you to worry that the symptoms must mean you have MS.
I don't know if you've read any of my descriptions of my neurological symptoms on other threads, but I had several of them since 13 years ago and last year I developed both new sx and worsening of the ones I already had. I took Neurontin, commonly prescribed to MS patients and others with nerve pain. Earlier this year I tried to reduce the dose, because of negative side effects, but my neuro sx worsened. After I learned about TMS, I tried again, and this time I was able to wean off the med plus the neuro sx have gone away, except for occasional, mild vertigo.
Just before I found Dr. Sarno's Divided Mind book I read a book called Stop Being Your Symptoms and Start Being Yourself, which I found really helpful. My life had become all about focusing on the sx, trying to find a cause, worrying that I'd get worse, stressing about my physical limitations, trying to get people to understand and accept my limitations even though my medical tests were not showing any problem, and so on. I can understand how the worry takes over and stops you from living, like you life has to be on hold until you can get answers. I've been able to start focusing on other things, even though I still have symptoms of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Just being able to feel hopeful about the future makes such a difference for me.
I hope you'll be able to get back to the rest of your life soon.
Corey
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| nporat |
Posted - 11/17/2006 : 14:21:54
I have had wierd symptoms off and on
Dizziness
sinus pressure
hot feet
sunburned feeling arms
blurryness
ear pain
TMJ
I have always been scared of MS but it is not in my family, never has been. I think I saw something when I was a kid. My neurologist and all other Drs said I do not have ms, the tingling stuff stsarted when I was a kid, I remember. Also would a disease just come and go and come back during stress? I appreciate your advice. |
| Littlebird |
Posted - 11/17/2006 : 14:13:49
Hi Nikki,
Is there anyone else in your family who has definitely been diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis? How did you learn about MS and its symptoms? How long have you had stiffness, burning sensations and other symptoms that are similar to MS? Are you familiar with the medical treatments used for MS?
In my case, I developed sx (symptoms) of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome first, then later began adding sx, many of which are common to MS. My testing never showed any signs of MS. The only relative I know of who might have had MS lived in the 1800's before MS was even identified, but the sx he had could have been TMS and he was under a lot of pressure to be in the family business even though it wasn't what he wanted to do with his life. I can look back on the beginning of each new sx that could be associated with MS and see that there was a major emotional stress going on at the time, so that gives me confidence that the testing I had done which showed no sign of MS was accurate, that I don't have MS, but these sx are caused by TMS.
Can you relate the onset of your symptoms to emotional stresses? (Don't feel you have to respond to questions on the board--the intention is just to try to help you sort things out in your mind.) Is your therapist doing cognitive behavioral therapy with you that's focused on changing your current thinking or doing the kind of therapy where you really dig into your past and emotions?Are you still in the situation that caused your guilt and anger or is it in the past? Does your therapist's idea that you feel you should be punished ring true with you? When you say that you need to start living, what is it that your obsession with disease is preventing you from doing? Or what is it preventing you from feeling? Is there something about your plans for living that is scary? For example, do your plans involve some kind of risk of failure and having a disease like MS could be a good excuse for not taking those risks so you don't have to face the possibility of failure?
We humans need explanations about everything that goes on in our lives and our bodies, but sometimes the explanations we feel apply aren't really the true explanation for something that's happening. It can be hard to let go of an explanation that our brain has latched onto, even when we see evidence that it's not accurate. Once we do identify an explanation as false, our mind may still wander back to it at times, so we may have ups and downs before we can come to fully accepting that this explanation isn't true and that we need to continue searching for answers or learn to be content without definite answers and explanations.
Do you read through most of the threads and the experiences that people have shared here? Which books on TMS have you read? Does it really seem logical to you that the unconscious mind can cause many different physical symptoms in the body? You said you know that it's emotional, but do you know that just on an intellectual level or do you really accept that? Have you started journaling?
I know it's hard to fight doubts about whether it's all psychological or if there could be something physical too. It's true that not every health problem is purely psychological. But if all your tests are negative, that can be powerful evidence that it's not physical. I know tests can miss things, but you've had a lot of testing done (I did too) so it's likely that the tests are accurate. I don't think you can give yourself MS by worrying about it so much, but you can definitely give yourself TMS and make it worse with the worrying.
Wishing you the best! Corey |
| kevin t |
Posted - 11/17/2006 : 12:30:36
Are you having pain anywhere? Or are you just worried about having TMS? You said you have a history of "worrying about disease"? Have you been diagnosed with OCD or Hypochondria? Your statements seem more worried than talking about any specific pain. In fact you didnt even mention pain. Are you having chronic pain? Im confused. |
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