| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| JaneLeslie |
Posted - 09/10/2006 : 08:30:55
Hi,
I am a 45 yrold Fibro sufferer new to the TMS diagnosis. I am feeling in desperate need of structure but so far the doctor who diagnosed me where I live in MA doesn't do lectures or group education or offer psychotherapy referrals. I guess I can bug him to do that but who knows. I have been in steady pain since my recent diagnosis because I think the TMS is trying to distract me from accepting it. I used to think that I was being cured by guaifenesin. Now I highly doubt it. Sometimes I fel overwhelmed with insecurity and anxiety---equivalents I guess. A lot of my dependency stuff is coming out.
I started reading Nancy Selfridge's book "Freedom from Fibromyalgia." I don't know how I feel about it. I think it is confusingly written and overwhelming. Maybe it is just resistance on my part. She spends a lot of the book (rightly or wrongly) discussing how you'd better simplify (ie., decrease a lot of activities and obligations and de-stress your life) or you will get sicker. This is not what I thought TMS was about, but I don't know. If I dump most of my obligations I think I would get depressed. In fact my youngest child just started full time k-garten and instead of relief I feel sad.
Anyway, has anyone else read this book and gotten relief from it? I also ordered the audio CD's from Dr. Schecter which I will listen to.
I have seen Sarno's tapes in the past but don't own them. I don't want to flood myself with too many different authors/tapes but want to find the best resources for my problem. It looks like everyone likes this new Brady book. How does one choose from all of the many books, tapes, CD's, etc. Do you do it all?
Any thoughts welcome!
Thanks,
Jane |
| 20 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| JaneLeslie |
Posted - 09/14/2006 : 10:04:11
Thanks Penny, Kether, Jim and all:
Penny that is too weird that we are going through the same thing. Don't you think so? Maybe it is not a coincidence. I am very "stuck" right now. Maybe someday we can write a book about over-sensitive mothers with TMS! SOMETHING good should come out of it. Please feel free to e-mail me privately if you want to continue to discuss. I wish we could meet for coffee. You guys are the closest thing I have to group therapy and I appreciate it.
I wonder if I am afraid that if I let my feelings "go" I will have a nervous breakdown!!!??? When I first had terrible body pain at age 24 no one understood what it was but of course it was TMS. After several months of horrible pain, blurry vision, ringing in my ears, bladder and bowel problems, etc. I stopped eating and just admitted myself to a psych. facility. The pain was so bad that I did not want to live anymore but, oddly, I did not really feel depressed. The pain went away in the hospital and I left "feeling fine" on lots of anti-depressants. I know I had no awareness then of TMS but I guess I am now afraid to "let go" of the pain. Strange. I hate the pain, but the idea of mental pain and collapse is horrible. What would my family do if I had to "go somewhere?" Things would fall-apart if I fell apart and I don't want that to happen.
I am trying to get in touch with a therapist who does long-term therapy around here whom I like. I need some help I guess. This is very demoralizing but thanks for being there. Your thoughts and prayers are welcome because the pain is still very bad.
Blessings. Have a pain-free day.
Jane |
| JaneLeslie |
Posted - 09/14/2006 : 10:01:51
Thanks Penny, Kether, Jim and all:
Penny that is too weird that we are going through the same thing. Don't you think so? Maybe it is not a coincidence. I am very "stuck" right now. Maybe someday we can write a book about over-sensitive mothers with TMS! SOMETHING good should come out of it. Please feel free to e-mail me privately if you want to continue to discuss. I wish we could meet for coffee. You guys are the closest thing I have to group therapy and I appreciate it.
I wonder if I am afraid that if I let my feelings "go" I will have a nervous breakdown!!!??? When I first had terrible body pain at age 24 no one understood what it was but of course it was TMS. After several months of horrible pain, blurry vision, ringing in my ears, bladder and bowel problems, etc. I stopped eating and just admitted myself to a psych. facility. The pain was so bad that I did not want to live anymore but, oddly, I did not really feel depressed. The pain went away in the hospital and I left "feeling fine" on lots of anti-depressants. I know I had no awareness then of TMS but I guess I am now afraid to "let go" of the pain. Strange. I hate the pain, but the idea of mental pain and collapse is horrible. What would my family do if I had to "go somewhere?" Things would fall-apart if I fell apart and I don't want that to happen.
I am trying to get in touch with a therapist who does long-term therapy around here whom I like. I need some help I guess. This is very demoralizing but thanks for being there. Your thoughts and prayers are welcome because the pain is still very bad.
Blessings. Have a pain-free day.
Jane |
| Jim1999 |
Posted - 09/12/2006 : 23:15:53
I definitely agree with Kether. Dealing with the repressed emotions is not a pleasant process, but it feels good afterward. I think of the process as being something like having a broken bone set; it feels worse in the short run, but it was necessary for me to get better.
Jim
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| Penny |
Posted - 09/12/2006 : 19:25:51
quote:
Originally posted by JaneLeslie
HOw do we dredge up all of these ridiculous emotions without turning into a WRECK!? That is what I want to know!
I don't think we can. I have to be a wreck, but I know I won't stay there. It too, shall pass. For me, I believe it's a right of passage to end my TMS.
Sorry about my messy and small font previous post. (the perfectionist is me is crying!!! hahahah!)
>|< Penny
Non illigitamus carborundum. |
| Penny |
Posted - 09/12/2006 : 18:32:00
quote:
Originally posted by JaneLeslie
Thanks Kether and Penny,
A lie living in our bodies---that is truly it. Have you both completely recovered?
Not completely YET. I just don't give a lot of airtime to my symptoms, but they have IMPRESSIVELY decreased. My CTS is completely gone except once in a while I awaken with pins and needles which I attribute to a dream my brain doesn't want me remembering. The dream work stuff from Freedom book you can employ and benefit some from w/o journaling.
Penny, I can so relate to the feelings about your daughter going to K-garten. My daughter is now in full-day and I feel very GUILTY. I know people who home-school their kids and I find myself thinking (not even aware of it sometimes) that if I were a "better" mother, pain and depression and fibro and all, I would school her at home, along with my son, rather than have her in an "institution."
Then again, I feel sad (or I must because I dreamed about it) that I will never have more children. Jane
Girlfriend, can you and I meet and have coffee!!!! Yes, yes and YES!!!!!! I wanted to homeschool and felt like I was feeding her to the wolves at her new full-day school (and she goes to an amazingly high respected charter school). Of course I didn't know this feeling at the time, but once I fessed up to this repression many of my pains released and stopped. (I cried and allowed myself to feel it for days and wore sunglasses so my kids and the world couldn't see me.)
AND as for the MORE kids part ... get this: At my first session with the psychotherapist, I told him my hubby and I strongly disagree about having more kids. (I'm like you here too.) 1/2 hour into the session he brought this feeling up again when I was talking about my DD's first day of school, and he said "Hmmm, well your oldest has gone off to school, she doesn't need you as much does she? ... so why not have another baby?!" Yikes! Ouch! That hurt, but it could be one of the reasons why I feel such a loss about not having more babies. I felt SOOOOO needed and like I did the greatest job getting them to this point, and I was successful b/c they are good, happy, and well-adjusted (more than I can say about myself right now), and now I feel like something beautiful has ended. I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL!!!!! It hurts like a bleepitybleep! BUTTTT what we (maybe both of us?) need to do is consciously define the next stage of their development with equal--if not MORE-- significance. Feel and accept the sadness and loss about their babydom ending, but realize the next stage and the important role we continue to play. I hurt with you, but it helps me so much to know I'm not selfish or ridiculous for acknowledging these painful emotions. WE ARE HUMAN!!!!!!!
>|< Penny
Non illigitamus carborundum. |
| JaneLeslie |
Posted - 09/12/2006 : 13:01:53
Thanks Jim,
Your post went to page 2 and I didn't initially see it. I will check out the link to your recovery story. |
| JaneLeslie |
Posted - 09/12/2006 : 11:05:20
Thanks Kether and Penny,
A lie living in our bodies---that is truly it. Have you both completely recovered?
Penny, I can so relate to the feelings about your daughter going to K-garten. My daughter is now in full-day and I feel very GUILTY. I know people who home-school their kids and I find myself thinking (not even aware of it sometimes) that if I were a "better" mother, pain and depression and fibro and all, I would school her at home, along with my son, rather than have her in an "institution." Then, as you said, there are probably anger feelings about her that I am not even aware of. Then again, I feel sad (or I must because I dreamed about it) that I will never have more children. I know I am ridiculous! HOw do we dredge up all of these ridiculous emotions without turning into a WRECK!? That is what I want to know!
I bet that we re-live, without being aware, lots of the past through our children's ages/stages. I don't feel like doing that!  Ugh.
Penny, thanks for telling me about your experience with Selfridge. She seems like a great physician and everything but I am so overwhelmed and confused with all these charts and exercises. It looks like a fulltime job and a very unappealing one. My Brady book should be coming soon so maybe I will focus on that for a while. And I ordered David Schecter's tapes. I can always go back to Selfridge. Just have to keep going!
Congrats to you both and everyone else who has healed.
Jane |
| Jim1999 |
Posted - 09/11/2006 : 23:14:22
JaneLeslie,
I made a full recovery from fibromyalgia seven years ago. Here's a URL where I describe my recovery in some detail: http://tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=2459
"Freedom from Fibromyalgia" came out too late for me, but looks like it would have been helpful. I think that the journaling section is what I like the best about that book.
In the real world, I know someone who used a combination of Dr. Sarno's "Healing Back Pain" and Dr. Selfridge's "Freedom" to make a full recovery. She thought that "Freedom" was more helpful, because it's more practical. She also liked the journaling section the best.
Good luck in your recovery!
Jim
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| Penny |
Posted - 09/11/2006 : 19:36:40
quote:
Originally posted by JaneLeslie
Here is a weird question: Does the rage we feel ever come from rage at ourselves??? Is it always directed at the Other? And did all of you who are reading this suffer from The Imposter Complex (if you know what I mean) growing up? Just wondering.
Very good question, Jane: Perhaps the answer depends on how honest a person is with themself. Personally, I've just realized I get ticked at myself (subconsciously). Until recently I NEVER expressed or acknowledged it. In fact I've become quite good at repressing so fast I don't even notice there was a reason to be upset in the first place.
Do you have high expectations of yourself? Are you perfect? If you answered Yes to either of these questions, I'd bet an icecream sundae--everytime you don't meet your ridiculously high standards of yourself your subconscious belittles, reprimands, and resents you ... perhaps with physical pain?!
>|< Penny
Non illigitamus carborundum. |
| Penny |
Posted - 09/11/2006 : 18:41:45
Hi Jane, First of all, congrats on having a doctor tell you about TMS. That's rare!
When I was Dxed with fibro (not TMS) in May my fibro got WORSE!!!!! Doctor told me it was something I would have to live with--no cures-- and that medicine and sleep (with sleep pills) were the only way to get back to a new normal. He held my hand and told me he'd help me, but it turned out he couldn't help me. Only I could help myself, and I thank God and the stars above that I found Selfridge's book that led me to Sarno's books.
The info is good, but I was SO confused by that book. I found it to be very difficult to navigate, which is the last thing a person with fibro needs is to "navigate" a book. We are so overwhelmed by pain and brainfog to begin with, then you pick up a book that is constantly referring to different pages and chapters. Geesh!!!! The ideas in the book are powerful, BUT I wasn't able to benefit from them til I read MindBody Prescription. Then I went back to Freedom book and actually pieced my healing program together.
I love how you wrote about "obsessing" over symtpoms. I was like that too. I was convinced I was dying of some disease that caused blood pressure spikes, axiety attacks, carpal tunnel, fibro, migraines and the list goes on. Every time I got a new symptom I'd write it down and date and time stamp it. I was convinced I was seeing incompetent doctors. In actuality they weren't incompetent ... doctors only know what they know, and unfortunately most docs know nadazip about TMS. I self Dxed my TMS, and am self treating by journaling, dreaming, inner child work, and some other things.
My fibro intensified when my oldest daughter finished preschool and began kindergarten this summer. It wasn't til I started asking myself some difficult questions after I learned about TMS (e.g. am I scared for her, do I want her to stay home forever) and then some even more difficult inner child questions the past few weeks, (do I resent her b/c her school will be easier than mine-ouch) that my symtoms started to shift and stop. By shift, I mean there is this thing called symptom imperative (Sarno talks about it) where a symptom will disappear in one place and hit you somewhere else, perhaps where you never had a pain before--trying to distract you yet again, from believing you have TMS. Clever and naughty brains we have.
Yes, dear Jane, you are on the right path. Consider the method I took: Started with Selfridge, got MBP, then went back to Selfridge, and now I'm reading Sarno's newest Divided Mind and Brady's new book. Everyone comes up with their own plan, but the important thing is to NOT give up and don't focus on the pain--press through it. (I know that's really hard, my pain made me bedridden barely able to get up for the bathroom, for weeks!)
It took a while for your body to learn to have fibro (severe TMS): BUT therein lies the secret ... since you learned it, you have the capacity to retrain your brain and end TMS.
This site is a great resource. Any topic you are interested in, any book, symptom, just use the "Search" tab and you can read old threads relevant to your interest.
>|< Penny
Non illigitamus carborundum. |
| JaneLeslie |
Posted - 09/11/2006 : 12:22:53
Thanks again to all of you, and to the mother who shared her feelings of sadness at her children going to school. I did not expect to feel sad because my kids fight a lot and it is also a relief to be free of them for a bit! But I cannot predict anything anymore sorry to say.
And what Hillybilly said about fearing fibro is the truth. It felt like a death sentence. Then I found a "miracle cure" (the guai protocol) which was not any real cure because here I am in pain again. It makes sense though that a placebo effect (be it guaifenesin or any other pill) would be especially effective in TMS for a good long time because TMS is so psychological. I think I am enraged that I was fooled for a year and a half and now have to "explain" to some of my guai buddies that I don't buy it anymore. I am out of the "club" and this new TMS diagnosis is a tough "pill" to take. I am not sure how many I will tell because they will probably get mad at me for not being a true believer anymore. They believe fibro is a metabolic disorder and some of them do improve, at least for a while. The guai guru (Dr. St. Amand) claims a pretty high success rate, but who knows where he gets his numbers. He is now a millionaire sorry to say, for peddling snake oil.
Here is a weird question: Does the rage we feel ever come from rage at ourselves??? Is it always directed at the Other? And did all of you who are reading this suffer from The Imposter Complex (if you know what I mean) growing up? Just wondering. I am still sorting all of this out and reading and re-reading Selfridge's book. Her plan feels like a tall order but I will give it a shot and then read Brady. (I have read Sarno
in the past. The man is a genius. Thank God we have him and he began all this.)
THANKYOU! This is a tough road but I know it is the only one.
Jane |
| Hillbilly |
Posted - 09/11/2006 : 07:43:49
If one person was "cured" of fibro using these techniques, it wouldn't be that impressive. The fact that thousands have been brought back to normal life is compelling evidence that the word fibro shouldn't be feared at all. It should be seen for what it is, as the doctors say, a widespread pain scenario with accompanying stress-related symptoms that can't be explained. I think fearing the word and using pseudonyms for it is just as damaging as obsessing over symptoms. Check your thought pattern as you ponder the word and its implications. Avoid nothing, fear nothing, and you will improve quickly. Try it out and watch the miracle unfold. |
| Nor |
Posted - 09/10/2006 : 21:07:13
JaneLeslie,
It was informally suggested to me that my symptoms sounded like the f-word. I'm still working but I will tell you that I am MUCH better than I was 1 year ago. I read Sarno over and over. The symptoms nag me when I get lazy about doing the "work" (i.e., reading, journalling, meditating). You sound very open and ready to accept TMS ideas. You will find your way.
Btw, I was also melancholy when my kids began full-time school. Most moms are thrilled - not us sensitive TMSers. My kids just went back (1st and 4th grade) and I miss them and the peace that summer brings.
Nora |
| JaneLeslie |
Posted - 09/10/2006 : 20:17:14
What you say sounds promising. Now I am realizing that focusing on individual symptoms will never make me/us better. The symptoms become the obsession and can't resolve while they are the obsession. I am interested in engaging in the process to resolve the whole nasty thing, not in fixing individual sx. I think I am starting to get it. 
Thanks!
|
| Hillbilly |
Posted - 09/10/2006 : 18:44:12
I think you will be insprired by reading Dr. Bradys work. He claims to have recovered in little or no time after believing the daignosis and recognizing the causes. Perhaps you are already aware of the psychological issues you have. I definitely was. I have never been diagnosed with fibro, but who cares, right, it's all the same thing. Dr. Brady claims that all the symptoms resolve and don't have to be focused upon one at a time. He even has a case in which a person plays whack-a-mole with symptoms, knock one down, another pops up, ya know. It wasn't until she focused on the process rather than the symptoms that she saw results. Look at it like attacking a gun fortress in which some troops are being fired at by an m-16 (one or two symptoms) and others with a machine gun (you and other fibro folks). If you take out the fortress with a hand gernade, the bullets stop flying, regardless of whether it's 200 per minute or 1,000 per minute. Get the point? Kill the source of all the symptoms and they stop, regardless of how many there are. |
| art |
Posted - 09/10/2006 : 18:39:40
quote:
Originally posted by sonora sky
Hi Art. Brady's book isn't at all specific to fibro. He covers many of the same chronic conditions that Sarno does. I wrote down his "list" of TMS (he calls it AOS) symptoms on a recent thread:
http://tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=2363
best,
ss
Thanks SS...I checked out the reviews on Amazon as per your link...I like the apparent emphasis on stress, which was a huge factor in my chronic illness..In fact, I really haven't felt the need to adopt the whole repressed rage model because it's obviously so central to my illness...Just accepting that my illness is emotionally based seems to have been enough, along with a concerted effort to cut down on the stress in my life..not easy, but key.
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| JaneLeslie |
Posted - 09/10/2006 : 18:12:34
Thank you to all of you for your great responses. I feel very supported here. I am so eager to get rid of the pain so I am having trouble focusing. I just want to learn it all. I didn't know that Dr. Brady had fibro also. Fibro is supposed to be the toughest to treat which scares me. Dr. Selfridge says it is like having every TMS sx. in the book in one person's body. Yikes! I hope I am trainable.
Blessings to all of you!
Jane |
| sonora sky |
Posted - 09/10/2006 : 16:12:22
Hi Art. Brady's book isn't at all specific to fibro. He covers many of the same chronic conditions that Sarno does. I wrote down his "list" of TMS (he calls it AOS) symptoms on a recent thread:
http://tmshelp.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=2363
best,
ss |
| art |
Posted - 09/10/2006 : 15:39:08
HI Neil:
Does this book have wider applicability to other chronic illnesses, or is it fibro specific?
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| Hillbilly |
Posted - 09/10/2006 : 15:03:24
You might want to check out Scott Brady's new Book, Pain Free for Life. It is a six-week program that requires absolute dedication to the diagnosis and although much of it is a reiteration of Dr. Sarno, he speaks with the authority of someone who once was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. He also talks a great deal about spirituality, which is absent in all the other texts, save for Sarno's reference to the celestial architect, which set off a firestorm on this her forum. Best of luck to you in your recovery.
Blessings,
Neil |
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