| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| lobstershack |
Posted - 07/15/2006 : 09:59:11
hey all!
i've been doing great with the work and have a quick question: in trying very hard to ignore the pain and get back to living, is it ok if the pain still gets you down sometimes? when this happens i immediately ignore the symptom and ask myself what's going on inside, but part of me is worried that by virtue of even feeling this way, i'm going to stay stuck. in other words, the fact that i'm not blocking the pain out entirely and getting back to normal life, that it's still affecting me (in this case emotionally). i have a feeling this is perfectionism; could i be right?
and want to know my immediate reaction? "i need more antidepressants!" (oy)
Seth |
| 20 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Scottydog |
Posted - 08/03/2006 : 11:58:42
It's a year and a half since I first read the MBP. Last summer I had some horrible depressed spells - quite scary - but they are becoming less and less. Probably a day or so every couple of months now. I haven't worked out what triggers them - possibly something angering that is beyond my control but I haven't pinpointed it exactly.
I also felt unhappy but that might be because I am no longer such a goodist so the necessity to be nice and cheerful to please others isn't there now. But I did read some of The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle, don't think I quite finished it - it is quite spiritual - but it advises living for the moment - not living for the future when "you'll be more sociable and make new friends" or "move to a friendlier town" or "start that new career" or "lose weight" or "cure your TMS problem" - something I have been guilty of all my life.
You might find it helpful Seth.
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| lobstershack |
Posted - 08/02/2006 : 07:10:07
You're right TT, I'm going to bring these issues up in therapy when I go this week.
And I don't feel that blue today. But I must stress, the meds keep me from sinking way low. I just had these expectations that since I finally know what's wrong with me and I'm on the road to recovery that I shouldn't feel this way. That I should be jumping for joy. So in a way, not meeting this expectations is what's getting me down.
But you know what, I'm so very glad that I discovered all this unhappiness inside of me, this just might be the icing on the cake.
And Anne, thanks for the encouraging words. You're right, the worst is behind me.
Seth |
| tennis tom |
Posted - 08/02/2006 : 00:27:23
quote:
Originally posted by Seth
But it's true that no amount of medication can alleviate this feeling, you must overcome it yourself, right? I'm just struggling with how to do this.
Seth
Seth, I am reading Sarno's latest book The Divided Mind and he states that if his patients are not "cured" by his program then they need psychotherapy and that meds are not the answer and only offer a chemical placebo, temporary cure. Depression is a TMS emotional equivalent, a substiute for physical TMS pain.
I believe that you said you are a patient of Dr. Sarno's and are seeing one of his psychotherapists--is that correct? I asked in a previous post to you, what your therapist is doing to help you and you seem to be avoiding answering.
If this is getting too personal for you or if I have my facts wrong, please let me know and I will desist from responding to your posts.
If you are seeing a psychotherapist then, they should be helping you with your "struggle". If they aren't then you should consider finding one who can help you.
Regards,
tt |
| armchairlinguist |
Posted - 08/01/2006 : 11:54:00
Yes, I have had the feeling that I "should" be happy and yet I am not. I have it most days still (even though I am happier than in some times past). I find it helpful to acknowledge that this is only one more pressure I am putting on myself, and if I am not happy, then I am not, and it's better if I find out why than believe that I should feel other than I do. In terms of not previously being aware of the unhappiness, I don't feel like it's that we have necessarily been "detached" in the traditional sense, but that the unconscious has been working very hard to keep us unaware.
When I feel pain, especially if I don't know the reason and/or it persists for more than a few hours, I do still get upset about that. I think it's just part of the recovery thing. It takes time to get really on top of TMS. Right now I have some neck stuff bugging me that is kind of getting me down, but I'm trying to take it as just a reminder to get back to the work.
And the way to deal with it, I think, is just to do the work, to get familiar with the ins and outs and ups and downs of ourselves, so we can understand and deal with the things that bother us and not need any TMS crutches.
--
Wherever you go, there you are. |
| lobstershack |
Posted - 08/01/2006 : 10:02:09
But it's true that no amount of medication can alleviate this feeling, you must overcome it yourself, right? I'm just struggling with how to do this.
Seth |
| flyefisher |
Posted - 08/01/2006 : 09:39:52
Yes. It sucks. But you have to remember the depression and fear that brings on will perpetuate the TMS. I'm still working a lot on this, so I 'feel your pain'.
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| tennis tom |
Posted - 08/01/2006 : 09:06:07
"It's hard though. I find myself waking up some mornings and upon feeling the pain, getting sad that I still have it. It's as if I think I should be getting up everyday exuberant, happy and excited, and if I'm not, then something is wrong. Is this normal? Has anyone else experienced this?
Seth"
yes |
| lobstershack |
Posted - 08/01/2006 : 07:00:46
Beth,
Great post. It touches on many of the issues I'm currently facing.
It's not easy realizing that all these years you've been harboring this profound unhappiness, and not even realizing it! Part of me is upset at how this could even be possible. Am I really that detatched?! But you know what? The meds got me out of that deep, dark hole, and no amount or type of medication is going to take away that unhappiness that has been festering for so long. I believe that this line of thinking is probably just another distraction, because conceivably one could spend a lifetime tinkering with drugs in hopes of finding that "magic" combination.
Beth, based on what you said, I feel as though I should not fight this unhappiness, rather accept it as not only reality, but the cause of my pain as well.
It's hard though. I find myself waking up some mornings and upon feeling the pain, getting sad that I still have it. It's as if I think I should be getting up everyday exuberant, happy and excited, and if I'm not, then something is wrong. Is this normal? Has anyone else experienced this?
Seth |
| tennis tom |
Posted - 07/31/2006 : 10:05:25
Good post h20 ! That's how you do the TMS life work. Should be made into a "sticky". |
| h2oskier25 |
Posted - 07/31/2006 : 06:56:49
Seth,
When I started making serious progress with TMS, I also faced the "Hey, I'm not really all that happy right now" thing. I realized I had been going through life pretending to be happy, and sincerely trying to be happy with everything. It was so much easier than facing the depth of my unhappiness and all the choices I had to make my life better.
I cried over the current unhappiness.
I made plans to change what I could, even if that was long term and wouldn't make a difference right away.
You know what, the depression went away. The crying was cathartic and felt really good. The whole thing was like a new beginning for me.
Don't try to cover up your unhappiness, I've learned.
Beth |
| tennis tom |
Posted - 07/30/2006 : 18:38:09
quote:
Originally posted by Seth
TT,
Actually I did respond, albeit indirectly. You're replies helped very much. Like I mentioned earlier, I would not have come to these important realizations had it not been for your responses. I don't really have much else to say, other than, unfortunately, I am not able to go off the meds; but I am very confident that I will prevail regardless. Thanks again!
Seth
You're welcome, Seth. |
| lobstershack |
Posted - 07/30/2006 : 18:34:55
TT,
Actually I did respond, albeit indirectly. You're replies helped very much. Like I mentioned earlier, I would not have come to these important realizations had it not been for your responses. I don't really have much else to say, other than, unfortunately, I am not able to go off the meds; but I am very confident that I will prevail regardless. Thanks again!
Seth |
| tennis tom |
Posted - 07/30/2006 : 17:05:06
quote:
Originally posted by tennis tom
quote:
Originally posted by Seth
You bring up an interesting point regarding the issues: resolve or accept them. While I've definately been bringing many issues to light with the help of my therapist, I've done little in this regard. How important is this? Most of my issues--sexuality, conflicts with father due to his personality, etc.--are not resolvable; how does one accept them?
Seth
Seth,
I recall your issues with your sexuality. I believe you have seen Dr. Sarno, and, perhaps?, a TMS psycho-therapist. I don't feel qualified to solve your issues from my end.
It begs the question: what are the people you are paying good money to, (or funny money, i.e., insurance money), doing for YOU? I don't feel qualified to help you from here. I don't have the data of your life and also, I don't have the time, and am not being paid for it.
I was once told that if you don't pay for psycotherapy with your own money it won't work--I feel that is true.
Maybe, taking the meds, is PREVENTING you, from doing the work to access the psychological roots of your TMS issues. I know, meds prevented me, from doing the work. Until I weaned off, I wasn't getting anywhere--my thinking was too clouded, from anxiety and depression--TMS affective equivalents.
Good Luck and I hope this helps a little bit,
tt
Seth, I don't feel you are responding to my posts. I am not getting much feed-back, accept that you will not get off the meds. You asked me for info on depression in another post and I responded in a heartfelt manner. I will not give you anymore time unless you give me some feedback. |
| n/a |
Posted - 07/30/2006 : 13:20:40
It's good to hear you're doing well, Seth - the hard work you have put in is paying off. The worst is behind you now.
Read a good quote about depression the other day, one that I have never come across before. 'Depression is just rage without the enthusiasm.'
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| lobstershack |
Posted - 07/30/2006 : 12:41:42
While I do not plan on weaning off my meds -- I tried that last summer with disasterous results -- your responses did get me thinking. Depression versus unhappiness. I think there is a very important distinction between the two. You see, the medications got me out of the black hole, the depression so to speak -- whether or not this was placebo does not matter to me. Yet this lingering feeling I describe, I feel it's more to the tune of unhappiness. And you know what, I never ever, despite all the sludge I've been dredging up, thought of myself as unhappy. But you know what? I am unhappy and I think this is a key discovery. All this unhappiness that has been festering and building inside of me, I never came to recognize it. And now I have. I'm glad I posted this issue, because I never would have came to this realization otherwise. I just have to remember to connect these feelings to my symptoms.
Happy Summer!
Seth |
| tennis tom |
Posted - 07/30/2006 : 09:12:42
quote:
Originally posted by Seth
You bring up an interesting point regarding the issues: resolve or accept them. While I've definately been bringing many issues to light with the help of my therapist, I've done little in this regard. How important is this? Most of my issues--sexuality, conflicts with father due to his personality, etc.--are not resolvable; how does one accept them?
Seth
Seth,
I recall your issues with your sexuality. I believe you have seen Dr. Sarno, and, perhaps?, a TMS psycho-therapist. I don't feel qualified to solve your issues from my end.
It begs the question: what are the people you are paying good money to, (or funny money, i.e., insurance money), doing for YOU? I don't feel qualified to help you from here. I don't have the data of your life and also, I don't have the time, and am not being paid for it.
I was once told that if you don't pay for psycotherapy with your own money it won't work--I feel that is true.
Maybe, taking the meds, is PREVENTING you, from doing the work to access the psychological roots of your TMS issues. I know, meds prevented me, from doing the work. Until I weaned off, I wasn't getting anywhere--my thinking was too clouded, from anxiety and depression--TMS affective equivalents.
Good Luck and I hope this helps a little bit,
tt |
| lobstershack |
Posted - 07/30/2006 : 07:59:19
You bring up an interesting point regarding the issues: resolve or accept them. While I've definately been bringing many issues to light with the help of my therapist, I've done little in this regard. How important is this? Most of my issues--sexuality, conflicts with father due to his personality, etc.--are not resolvable; how does one accept them?
Seth |
| tennis tom |
Posted - 07/29/2006 : 21:52:00
Seth, Sarno says that depression is a TMS equivalent. If it were me, I would try to wean off the meds and get to the root of the problem through TMS work as reccommended in the books or with the help of a TMS therapist.
I have tried meds for depression several times and only looked upon them as temporary aids to get through a crisis. I hated the Lexapro and how it made me feel, like I was not myself and it was making me into a zombie.
That's my advice, wean off the meds with the supervision of a doctor and get to the source of your TMS emotional issues and resolve or accept them.
Good Luck,
tt |
| lobstershack |
Posted - 07/29/2006 : 21:15:43
I very much appreciate the responses to this post, but was wondering if I could get some additional input on my initial question. It seems as though I'm doing well at ignoring the physical, but am getting a little obsessed about this lingering depression. I mentioned that I am on meds, which definately keep me out of the that dark whole, but there's a part of me that feels I have to keep increasing my dose or trying others until I don't feel bumed out about the pain, i.e., not let it effect me emotionally. Is this a fruitless endeavor that, in actually, is sort of like chaising a rainbow? It's just hard to ignore this sort of thing.
Thanks.
Seth |
| Jim1999 |
Posted - 07/15/2006 : 23:06:10
Seth,
Congratulations on your progress so far, and keep up the good work!
I continue to have relapses of pain, even though I'm fully recovered. The relapses are pretty rare and short-lived, but they can still be discouraging. The perfectionist in me wonders why I've failed to keep my TMS perfectly under control.
I think this is just something that most TMS patients to live with the rest of their lives. It sure beats full-blown TMS!
Jim |
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