| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Singer_Artist |
Posted - 07/07/2006 : 08:58:06
Wow was the past 48 hours ever an eye opener into myself and the TMS personality traits I possess..Without rehashing I will just say that I realized some things about myself that I already knew, on one level, but became crystal clear through some interactions on the forum...I worked through alot of it w/ my therapist Don Dubin and today I feel a peace/calm inside that is really quite nice! I started my day going on a 25 minute (woohoo!!) walk w/ my roommate and the dogs, was great to move my stick necked body for that long and get some FRESH AIR! Let me re-phrase that...MY NECK IS FLEXIBLE, HEALTHY, AND STRONG NOW! Finally, I feel like things are coming together, all the reading, over-posting (lol), journaling and therapy..i feel it is starting to work! ALthough I still cannot move my neck much, and still cannot drive and do other basic things, my insides are feeling different and changing..And w/ TMS that is where it all starts and finishs so I am feeling HOPEFUL today! And I am planning on painting in just a bit, instead of spending all my time looking for approval, attention and love from my online pals...
So what are the traits that I feel I possess as a TMSer...Perfectionism, goodism (trying to fix things and over apologizing when I mess up), feelings of inferiority and abandonment, over-sensitive to criticism, obsessive behaviors, impulsive and over-reactive, looking for ANY distraction I can find to AVOID doing the painful inner work, and more...Does this sound familiar to anyone out there?
And yes...I acknowledge that I was being a bit of a drama queen the last couple of days...Well, hey, I am a singer, actress and artist...so guess it kind of comes w/ the territory..(just kidding)...I really want to work on that and I am...And the MOST important thing i am working on in therapy is BEING REAL w/ myself and w/ others...Just FEELING whatever it is I am feeling, ie..rejected, lonely, abandoned, scared, sad, hopeless, ashamed or angry...Those are probably the emotions I feel the most lately...I am back on track w/ my eating, realizing it is just another TMS equivalent, another way to RUN FROM MYSELF...
I am not being polly-anna-ish or all happy happy joy joy now either...I have my work cut out for me...And...I am willing to do ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING that it takes to get well...Which includes not focusing on my PHYSICAL PAINS so much...and instead focusing on WHAT I AM FEELING AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT IN TIME...You all have helped me soooooo much to realize all of this too, and I am very grateful to every single one of you who ever wrote to me!!
Hugs and God bless,
~Karen
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| 17 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Singer_Artist |
Posted - 07/07/2006 : 12:48:34
Yes indeed Wolf..that is a hard one...That we don't need to be perfect! Funny i wasn't sure i am a perfectionist when you look at my art studio...IT IS A MESS!!!! Paint all over the wall, stuff everywhere...But that isn't what being a perfectionist is necessarily about...I am NOT a clean fanatic at all, kind of a bit of a slob actually...BUT when it comes to MANY other things I am a perfectionist and it stinks...However, my therapist said...Don't hate these parts of yourself...just accept that they are there and most importantly FEEL YOUR FEELINGS AND BE REAL...That is the best advice anyone can ever give me! I have been wearing masks for years and hiding from my feelings..so afraid they would swallow me up if i really felt them.. |
| wolf29 |
Posted - 07/07/2006 : 12:32:49
quote:
Originally posted by Singer_Artist
Wolf, I hear ya...The summer being cooler is a plus over there..I used to live in Rockaway! And yes..there is ALWAYS a plus even to TMS! Look at all the self discovery we are getting!
I visit the Rockaway mall from time to time. They're really buidling up that whole area. Lots of new stores and businesses.
Yep, self discovery that we aren't perfect and don't have to be   |
| Singer_Artist |
Posted - 07/07/2006 : 12:17:40
Wolf, I hear ya...The summer being cooler is a plus over there..I used to live in Rockaway! And yes..there is ALWAYS a plus even to TMS! Look at all the self discovery we are getting!
ACL,
You are so sweet...You don't realize that you just called me by a very significant nickname which brought warm tears of joy to my eyes...I used to do this silly thing in high school and beyond...(lol) where I would lay in the middle of the road (when cars weren't coming) and stick my legs in the air saying "Possum dead Possum" Dont ask me why...I know it's weird, but then,,I am weird, lol again..I love animals and possums too, of course..I am actually an animal rights activist, big time..But this was just a silly thing i used to do...You brought back some really fun memories w/o realizing it..Thanx for your words of encouragement!!!! Means alot to me! 
Miche,
I hope that mold situation gets sorted out for you very soon... |
| miche |
Posted - 07/07/2006 : 11:03:15
had a big revelation recently where I realized that a lot of time when I get upset about other people misbehaving it's to make myself feel superior! YIIIkes.
So true for me also!! |
| armchairlinguist |
Posted - 07/07/2006 : 10:57:04
Karen,
Awesome possum! You sound great, and like you really hit a milestone! Congrats, and keep on truckin.
quote:
Perfectionism, goodism (trying to fix things and over apologizing when I mess up), feelings of inferiority and abandonment, over-sensitive to criticism, obsessive behaviors, impulsive and over-reactive, looking for ANY distraction I can find to AVOID doing the painful inner work, and more...Does this sound familiar to anyone out there?
Yep yep. This describes so many of us! Guess that's why Sarno keeps saying it over and over, to make sure we really get it. It's so easy to not see it in ourselves. I had a big revelation recently where I realized that a lot of time when I get upset about other people misbehaving it's to make myself feel superior! YIIIkes.
--
Wherever you go, there you are. |
| wolf29 |
Posted - 07/07/2006 : 10:36:28
Yep, where I live it gets wicked cold in the winter. On the positive side it's cooler up by me in summer so I like that as well. There's always a positive side to all things. TMS just doesn't always see it that way. As you know, you have to challenge it. So get out there in that 120 degree weather and enjoy the scorching sun  |
| Singer_Artist |
Posted - 07/07/2006 : 10:25:45
I would just be happy living in a place that had one foot instead of 3 feet of snow, lol...I figured it does snow down there but i think i heard only a few inches when No. and Central Jersey get a foot or more...I can live w/ that...I don't mind the cold, as long as it isn't -10 w/ the wind chill which it is like in Central and North Jersey sometimes in Jan. and Feb...I hated living there during those months...Vegas is beyond hot...doesn't matter that it is dry...It is like sticking your head in a stove!! It goes up to 120 degrees F, no foolin...Since my neck has kept me inside for 6 weeks,for the most part..the summer isn't bothering me as much..Guess if i had to pick a time to be dealing w/ the neck TMS i picked a good time, weather wise... Yes it is soooo relaxing at the beach,,,i so agree... |
| wolf29 |
Posted - 07/07/2006 : 10:17:40
The wolf is my favorite animal as well. Even have a tatoo of one on my left shoulder. Yes, I'm a coporate guy by day and a rebel by night
The weather generally is warmer down the shore. It's not like living in Florida as it does snow in south jersey. But generally it will be warmer than where I live. Wouldn't mind owning a little house in Wildwood or Cape May. Like you said, it's a different vibe. Just more laid back. I like the woods and stuff where I live but the shore is definitely relaxing.
Wow, Vegas for 12 years. Never been there. I guess it's that dry heat you hear about? Been to Arizona though and that was hot but dry. |
| Singer_Artist |
Posted - 07/07/2006 : 10:09:26
I hear you..Vacation is always a wonderful thing...I cannot believe that the casinos, courts, etc. are closed..What a trip...No one back there told me about it...Well I haven't been calling or in touch much cuz i didn't want to explain all about the neck TMS etc...and complain...Exercise is a great outlet for me...I miss it terribly..I am just beginning to get back to the walking...As for the gym...lower body only and only went twice in the past 6 weeks since the neck started... |
| Singer_Artist |
Posted - 07/07/2006 : 10:06:02
Wolf,
BTW...a wolf is my favorite animal! Good choice for a name here! Regarding Cape May...I have a question...It's been awhile since i have been there...Been here for 12 years now...Isn't it a little warmer in South South Jersey then in the rest of the state...I mean isn't there also less snow down there? I am asking because perhaps when i am well from the neck tms and ready to think about moving back, I am considering going very south...because...part of why i moved away was due to the weather in the winter...I bet living there (aside from in the summer) is probably cheaper, rent wise i mean...I love the bird sanctuary there and just the general vibe..It is really far from all my friends that live there but surely not as far as Vegas! (feeling a bit of TMS guilt for talking about something other then TMS on here...typical personality trait coming up!) But hey...i am talking about relocating...and part of my tms is DEFINITELY from living in a place I cannot stand anymore... |
| wolf29 |
Posted - 07/07/2006 : 10:05:14
Actually the lottery, casinos, state parks, DMV and a few courts are shut down because the state couldn't get their act together and approve a budget. So don't visit just yet. lol
I think the only time I'm stress free is when I am on vacation. Even though I exercise I think I need more outlets for my stress
Being as obsessive as I can be, at least it makes me determined to beat this thing. Just keep a positive attitude and you'll keep improving. Sometimes it's easier said than done, but things could be worse. It's a harmless disorder so we can be thankful for that. I don't wish back or neck pain on anyone, but it's better than what some people go through in their lifetime.
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| Singer_Artist |
Posted - 07/07/2006 : 09:55:09
NO WAY!!!?? WHY did NJ shut down the lottery? And for how long? That is horrible..I was gonna ask you to get me a ticket too, lol...OH I KNEW IT...WILDWOOD AND CAPE MAY..YOu are killing me now...I want to be there sooooo bad...And I hear ya on the TMS going away when you are there...Guess what? When I was in NJ for nine weeks around 3 years ago, I NEVER ONCE used an ice pack..Had NO PAIN in neck, knee or back! HMM..curious?? Mind you it was b4 a couple of other 'injuries' that happened but still..I had had previous injuries too and yet in NJ i was PAIN free...I was NOT stress free either...I was breaking up w/ someone and having issues, as usual, w/ my older sister...So maybe that whole geographical fix isn't such a terrible idea after all...I love the area you live in too...Just gorgeous...And i love New Hope, PA...! |
| wolf29 |
Posted - 07/07/2006 : 09:43:42
I live in Northern NJ not too far from the Delaware Water Gap. Nice country living. I commute an hour each day to work in Totowa. I'm sure that doesn't help my TMS with all the jersey traffic, but it does give me a chance to listen to the Sarno audio CDs.
I go to Wildwood once a year at the end of August for vacation. I can't wait. Would love to have a house there or in Cape May. I know when I go down there I will not have one symptom of TMS which is why I laugh, and get mad, at myself for letting it happen at other times.
I need to win the lottery so I can be on a permanent vacation but I can't even play at the moment because Jersey shut down the lottery 
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| Singer_Artist |
Posted - 07/07/2006 : 09:33:26
YIPPIE NEW JERSEY!!!! I AM SOOOOOO HOMESICK...talk to me..Did you go to the shore this year...Point Pleasant, Wildwood??? I REALLY miss it...WHat part do you live in...or are you still living there? I am from Bound Brook, went to college at Montclair University, lived in Rockaway, Middlesex, Piscataway, Kendal Park and most recently in Middletown..Red Bank is my fav..As soon as my neck is better (i mean my TMS in my neck!) and as soon as I sell enough art to afford it, i really think i need to move back there! |
| wolf29 |
Posted - 07/07/2006 : 09:30:51
I'm from NJ also. Must be a personality trait that's required if you live here
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| Singer_Artist |
Posted - 07/07/2006 : 09:20:54
Thanx Jay! It's good to know I am not the only one... You reminded me also of how I was always the peace maker when I was still living in NJ...Always trying to fix my family when members fought w/ one another, etc...What a tall order, eh? Too much pressure for any one person! Appreciate the encouraging words very much!!!
Hugs,
~Karen |
| wolf29 |
Posted - 07/07/2006 : 09:17:33
quote:
Originally posted by Singer_Artist
So what are the traits that I feel I possess as a TMSer...Perfectionism, goodism (trying to fix things and over apologizing when I mess up), feelings of inferiority and abandonment, over-sensitive to criticism, obsessive behaviors, impulsive and over-reactive, looking for ANY distraction I can find to AVOID doing the painful inner work, and more...Does this sound familiar to anyone out there?
You pretty much just described me. I try to be the peac keeper in my household and get really stressed when there is any conflict. Although we all get along well for the most part. I over react to many things and can get defensive at certain situations. I do obsess about things as well... both good and bad.
Holy crap, I need to work on myself
Glad to hear you're feeling better. Keep it up.
Regards,
Jay |
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