| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Singer_Artist |
Posted - 06/19/2006 : 15:05:51
First of all, I want to apologize for writing so many posts...I am just working very hard to get past this flare up of TMS in my neck and get my life back...I was wondering, re. current life pressures..what if there is nothing that one can do for a period of time to change things? What i mean is, I am 'stuck' in LV because I do not have the money to move back home to NJ...I just turned 49 years old and have very little family support of any kind...Both parents died 16 yrs ago, way too early and I never married,no children..My one sister and i are not close...I am blessed with many wonderful friends but most live far away, with the exception of a few..So loneliness, financial stress, etc...won't change overnight..I am an artist and a singer..I have not been able to sing professionally for over 3 years because of TMS in either my neck or knee...I have been relying solely on art sales to live and just barely sliding by..I am living like a college student, renting a room in my best friends home in Vegas...It is embarassing to be this age and in this position...THere is nothing immediate i can do to fix all of this..Part of why i never married was because i was on the road singing for many years, not very conducive to marriage and family..But now, I want that more then anything...Although i am told i look in my early 30's i have issue with my age too and mortality..I know Sarno talks about that and i just turned 49 yesterday..it is kind of freaking me out, i must admit..There is some improvement in my neck, but i have a ways to go to even be able to drive myself somewhere or pour my own juice, etc...I realize i should talk to a therapist about this and i will..Don Dubin is away and cannot start phone work with me til he returns...All of this was weighing heavy on my mind 3 weeks ago when the neck flared up from such a simple movement...I have the awareness and yet i still feel sooo scared that i will never be able to look up or move my neck normally without pain in the arms, fingers, etc. etc.ad nauseum...I have been helped by your kind and inspiring letters..So i guess i am hoping that someone will say something that clicks for me regarding this deeper issue..Thanx for listening... |
| 2 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Singer_Artist |
Posted - 06/20/2006 : 09:01:08
Sorry again...This is only posting again now because I am editing my email address out of this previous post..
WOW...what fantastic posts! Thanx ACL and CJB!!! Would really like to talk to both of you outside of here as well...so I am giving you my email address it is and my little art page is www.visualobjects.net/karen_artworks.htm there are pics of some of my art and a pic of me as well for my fellow artist musician friend! I soooooo appreciate all of your support...it helps me more then you know and i owe you all!
hugs,
Karen ps...i am planning on getting Fred AMir's book and now i will asap since you told me that he used his Faith to heal himself as well! That is working for me too..God bless! |
| armchairlinguist |
Posted - 06/19/2006 : 22:48:18
Karen,
You have a lot of pressures -- wow. But remember that one of the key points that Sarno makes is that we do not need to change our lives or our personalities in order to stop suffering TMS. All we need is knowledge and belief about the diagnosis and how it applies to us. If we know that the pain is not from a structural problem, and so we don't allow it to worry us, the strategy of distraction fails, the pain's purpose is defeated, and it will go away (this can happen almost instantly or over some time).
In order to short-circuit the distraction, we do have to acknowledge the emotional pain and rage in some way. There are many tips both on this board and in Sarno's books, as well as other books such as those by Marc Sopher, David Schechter, and Fred Amir. (You might really like Amir's book, Rapid Recovery From Back and Neck Pain. Like you he had neck and arm pain as well as knee and foot pain, and his religious orientation was a part of his healing methods. I had no problem with the way he handled that aspect in his book, though I am not religious at all.) But the key is that what you have to do is face and acknowledge that you are experiencing this emotional pain and pressure, and remember that you will not let it cause you physical pain as a distraction.
Don't underestimate the importance of facing and acknowledging rage as well as pain. The inner child is always angry, and this does not reflect poorly on us as people. It is just how that part of the psyche works. When we experience loss and pain, the inner child is enraged because it no longer has something it wanted. When we are criticized, however justly -- even and especially self-criticism -- the inner child is enraged by that criticism because it threatens our sense of self. It is angry about everything we do that is not self-gratifying but that doesn't mean we have to do what it wants. We just have to admit that it's a part of us and it feels that way, and there it is, that's just how things are.
Having done that, you might decide that some of the pressure could be lifted by a change of location or lifestyle, and that that would really be good for you. But you don't have to do that if you decide you don't want to. Similarly we TMSers don't have to stop being perfectionists -- thank goodness, or I'd still be in pain! But I am working on moderating my perfectionism, because I hope overall I'll be happier and healthier that way.
As always best hopes for you in your recovery. |
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