| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| art |
Posted - 06/10/2006 : 10:29:35
A tad off topic, but my girlfriend and I are in the midst of a minor tiff and I wanted to get some objective opinions...And who knows, maybe it's a stretch, but I wonder if "squeamishness," as she's fond of calling it, is a common TMS trait...Or maybe an uncommon one...
Be that as it may, here it is...We were cleaning out some cupboards and came across an old bag of flour that had been infiltrated by these mothy bug critters....Disgusting enough for my money right there..
But then she wants me to "squeeze" one of the little suckers that was crawling on the top of the bag so it wouldn't fly away...I tell her, if there's any bug squeezing to be done, she could very well do it herself thank you..And she responds by going on and on about how I'm the most "squeamish man," (with a pointed emphasis on the word "man") that she's ever seen and that I need to "toughen up."
Well, maybe so, but I've never been one for bug squishing, or squeezing, or any other activity designed to bring about the premature death of insects..IT's not that I have any kind of great love for bugs, but on the other hand, they are living things, and stupid as it may be, I can't kill them without feeling some sort of empathic twinge...Dumb no doubt, and utterly misplaced, but there you have it...
So guys, what do you think? Does she have a point? Am I a disgrace to my gender? Do I need to toughten up? |
| 9 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Scottydog |
Posted - 06/13/2006 : 14:22:49
It's the "(with a pointed emphasis on the word "man")" that you have noted and need to think about. She's getting at you ---- but why --- is this a job she feels you have more time to do than she has? or did you suggest at the start that "she needed to clean out the larder" and she's getting back at you? or what?
Anne |
| tennis tom |
Posted - 06/11/2006 : 10:39:58
I would think, squeamishness, is not a TMS trait; just a run of the mill neurosis--but, I'm not a shrink, so what do I know?
Being in a moral quandry about being squeamish, would be a TMS trait--perfectionism/procrastination--the inability to act, due to the NEED to do the right thing in every situation. This eventually builds up into TMS physical symptoms or its emotional equivalents.
I, personally, don't like killing any living thing, unless it's trying to kill me first--bad karma. But, like in Texas, if you can prove someone needs killing, it's o.k. to do so.
On the tennis court, I try not to step on worms or other crawly things. I've lost points by having to detour around them. I'll pick them up and find them a safe place. Ants are on their own. At home I consider ants, housekeeper aids-they clean up the stuff vaccumming misses.
In the pool the other day, there was a lady bug drowning. I scooped it up and gave it a reprieve.
To avoid TMS build, up do to this dilemma, check out this solution:
http://www.petacatalog.org/prodinfo.asp?number=HP220 |
| miche |
Posted - 06/11/2006 : 10:04:36
Anne is right Art, seing your girfriend is not afraid of bugs puts a different spin on things, so she should do the bug thing, still should she come across one that sending her screaming you would come out a hero should you put your feelings aside and do the" save the lady routine" Miche ps: by the way I cannot see this as a tms equivalent.Miche |
| n/a |
Posted - 06/11/2006 : 07:23:54
Not sure if squeamishness is a TMS type trait or not, Art, but no - you don't need to toughen up. I don't think it's unmanly to take the premature killing of any creature seriously.
I've had weevil type things in a bag of flour. My husband did his usual, run- out- the- door routine. He's 6'3'' and otherwise very manly. He just hates killing bugs. In fact he is down right scared of bugs - I don't mind because they don't freak me out.
The thing is he's a farmer's son, so I don't know where his fear comes from.
We don't have many scary bugs in Scotland so anytime we go anywhere warm, he worries about the bugs we might meet. I found a huge spider (well, huge compared to our native Scottish spiders) on a bush in Pennsylvania; I wanted him to take a close up photo of my thumb alongside it, so I could show family back home just how big it was - he was scared to come close enough to do that - our thirteen year old niece had to do it for him.
I don't think your girlfriend should give you a hard time about this - I must admit I kind of like having to rescue my husband from scary bugs - maybe I'm a disgrace to my gender as well.
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| miche |
Posted - 06/10/2006 : 17:50:57
Well Art, my boyfriend insists I do not kill a spider for any reason as he feels they are useful insects, I on the other hand find there are way too many in my house despite the fact that I am Susie homemaker and dust before dust has a chance to settle, so I have no qualms about killing a few when he is not around,also had a few spider bites in my years and they are not all that pleasant having said this he will not go down to the basement for fear of all the possible crawlies lurking down there, yet will not hesitate to kill a centipede as the sight of one will throw me into hysterics .All this to say that we all have our quirts, gender aside, but as the bigger and stronger specimen in your house, a little help in that department could be appreciated, my thoughts on the subject for all it's worth |
| lilykins |
Posted - 06/10/2006 : 16:17:57
Well, I like it when my boyfriend catches a spider and takes him outside rather than squishing him. But I'm hoping you don't have the kind of bugs his mom had in her pantry. They were wormy things that turned into moths and they were nearly impossible to get rid of. She had to take everything in the pantry and put throw it out, then put all the new stuff in the freezer. |
| HilaryN |
Posted - 06/10/2006 : 15:45:55
I prefer to avoid squishing them if I can, but when it comes to cockroaches, moths (which destroy my clothes), mosquitos (particularly if there’s a chance they could be the malaria-carrying type) or anything which is in sufficient numbers to be a pest then I’m afraid I squish them without qualms.
I think you should stick to your guns, though. If you don’t like it, don’t do it. I’m not into gender stereotyping though.
Btw. Not all females like our men too macho – a bit of sensitivity is a good thing! 
Hilary N |
| Fox |
Posted - 06/10/2006 : 14:21:04
By the way, use a paper towel or kleenex when you grab one to squish it - or just capture it in a kleenex and flush it down the toilet if you don't want to feel 'em pop. |
| Fox |
Posted - 06/10/2006 : 14:17:34
I've got gobs of TMS symptoms but I've done my share of bug squishing with no (or at least very little) guilt, so I tend to think that squeamishness about bug squishing is not a TMS personality trait. If you want the respect of your woman and want the relationship to improve, you've got to get busy squishing the bugs that your lady sees and wants eliminated. |
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