| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Carolyn |
Posted - 06/03/2006 : 20:29:19
I am having a bit of a flare right now- actually lots of little flares in different locations as the TMS tries to find a foothold. I know it won't succeed though becuuse I no longer fear it but I would really love to get rid of this nuisance all together. Along with symptom flares I often get this uneasy feeling of borderline anxiety and it is sometimes also accompanied by more vivid dreams.
My question is, is it healthly to focus on the unpleasant emotions when they come to the surface? Since I began doing the TMS work, I felt like I should because otherwise it feels like I am repressing them. But when I was in therapy and I would bring up a particularly painful time in my life which would be accompanied by all the old emotions from that time- my therapist asked me 'why are you doing this to yourself?, you need to just let it go and tell yourself its in the past'. That is counter to my way of thinking which is that I need to experience the emotions to get them out of my system- maybe not again and again and again though?
As an example- last night I had a truly awful dream that I was just told that my young daughter had an incurable disease. I woke up in a cold sweat but resisted my habit to forcibly think of something else and go back to sleep- in essence pushing it back into my subconscious. Instead I focussed not on the content of the dream but on the raw emotion it called up- which I eventually recognized as overwhelming fear and helplessness. I had started thinking of bad dreams as actually a good thing, meaning that my subconscious was cleaning house but after what my therapist said, I am wondering if I am taking the wrong approach and maybe giving those emotions more power by dwelling on them.
Any thoughts? |
| 7 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Michele |
Posted - 06/05/2006 : 12:40:22
I agree with you too. My therapist says just the opposite of yours. Mine says to stop and FEEL the emotion as much as possible, and not be afraid of it. It is something that is easier said than done, and just a bit scary.
I, too, am struggling lately so I am interested in what others say. Good luck! |
| armchairlinguist |
Posted - 06/05/2006 : 12:24:31
Carolyn,
I would tend to agree with you and not your therapist, mostly, because of an experience that I had even before I knew I had TMS, but which dealt with issues that I now know were a cause of my TMS.
I had a lot of problems with my friends when I was in college, and many of them eventually were not good friends to me at all for various reasons. But I did not really realize it until later when I was no longer in the situation, and then I saw how poisonous it had been, and I felt very angry about it for a long time and every time they came up in my mind or conversation I'd be very bitter and angry about them, which I felt bad about, because it isn't "nice" to say angry things about people, and I felt like I should have been over it.
About 2 years after all the bad stuff had happened, I was telling about what had happened to a friend, and FINALLY I felt some resolution happen in my head. It took that long and that many times of being angry and upset for anything to resolve. Since then I can talk about them with less trouble. I think I needed to spend a certain amount of time processing that and being angry. So I would guess when you are re-living things, that's similar, you're taking some needed time to process those things, and you will be able to tell when you no longer have a need to re-work a particular issue a lot. Maybe your therapist is trying to convey that part of the thought, that there is a done-ness point, but not doing such a good job of explaining it. |
| miehnesor |
Posted - 06/05/2006 : 10:58:10
quote:
Originally posted by Carolyn
I guess I'm less sure about whether I should be actively re-living bad times from my past over and over in order to bring the emotions up- that's more specifically what the therapist was telling me not to do.
Carolyn
This is the foundation of the work i'm currently doing in therapy and its working. So i'm obviously biased strongly against this therapist. If it was me and my therapist was doing this to me I would drop them in a nanosecond. Perhaps this is harsh but i'm just giving you my 2 cents. |
| Carolyn |
Posted - 06/04/2006 : 16:23:10
Thanks for your responses. I have definitely found that it helps when I notice an emotion coming up by itself to be sure I experience it and don't push it to the back of my mind. But that's emotions in the present time- or even emotions from the past that come up on their own. I guess I'm less sure about whether I should be actively re-living bad times from my past over and over in order to bring the emotions up- that's more specifically what the therapist was telling me not to do.
I'm not seeing the therapist anymore right now due to insurance issues. I do think she was helping me in some ways and although I know she wasn't the best suited to treat TMS, it takes a lot of activation energy to find a new therapist who may be no better. Sigh. Today, I have pain all over in a lot of different places and I am frustrated after making so much progress.
Carolyn |
| lilykins |
Posted - 06/04/2006 : 15:50:09
I absolutely agree with you, not your therapist. You are being so brave to really feel the emotions that come up. I don't think you have to "dwell" on them. Just feel them, don't be afraid of them. Say, this is just an emotion, I'm acknowledging it, and moving on with my day. Easier said than done, for sure! |
| miehnesor |
Posted - 06/04/2006 : 07:55:51
Carolyn-I agree with Maryalma. If you are in therapy now and your therapist is disencouraging you to have your feelings then I think you are not benefiting from the therapy as much as you should be. From your post it sounds like your therapist doesn't understand TMS and what you need her to be for you in therapy. I would take it a step further and say that ideally the therapist must be comfortable with all of your feelings most importantly the feelings of rage and the underlying feelings of helplessness, aloneness and sadness. Unfortunately many therapists are actually afraid of there own feelings and unconsciously hurt their clients by preventing them getting to their own feelings. Sounds like you are making good progress in spite of this therapist.
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| marytabby |
Posted - 06/04/2006 : 07:45:20
Carolyn,
I would tend to agree with you, not your therapist. I think that you are correct about the sub-concsious doing its housecleaning so to speak. I follow this same thinking. For example, whenever I am in a pattern of having a lot of bad dreams, dreams mostly about regrets with people of my past (ex-friends, ex-boyfriends, etc), my wrist starts acting up and it's been bad for a month after a year of no pain in the wrist. I've been having a decent number of these regretful dreams, where I am feeling guilty over how I behaved in my past, etc. and I can't shake the wrist TMS again. It's hanging on no matter what I try to do to get rid of it. So my point in babbling here is to say, yes, our subconcious is working its best to get the emotions out and if we push them out of our mind, and try to ignore them, I think we are doing the opposite of what Sarno suggests, which is that we don't necessarily have to know exactly what it is that's bothering us, but it helps if we do know, and that's why some need psychotherapy to get to some of the root of it all. I think it's counter-productive to the TMS approach to push it out of your mind. The way I see it, let it come out if you can, face it if you can. That in the end may be your best shot at ridding yourself of the flare-ups. Confront the thoughts, the dreams. Tell your brain you know what its doing and you're on to it, because your dreams are proving it. This is what I'm doing. Granted, it's not getting rid of my wrist pain but I am trying... |
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