| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Laura |
Posted - 08/26/2004 : 10:42:45
Hi, all-
Wow! I just discovered this site yesterday and I'm really glad I did. My current TMS manifestation is dizziness and I was wondering how many of you out there have suffered from this at one time or another. I have had many of the TMS problems mentioned in Dr. Sarno's books; TMJ, tension headaches, irritable bowel, urinary symptoms, back problems etc. A little over two years ago I went on a trip to Cancun with my husband and his co-workers. I didn't want to go on the trip (I'd been to Mexico twice and had bad experiences both times) but was talked into it. On my second day there, there was a "booze cruise" to an island (45 minutes there and back) which we were booked to go on. I was missing my two children very much and feeling "stuck" on this island with a bunch of drunk people. The next day, I was talked into a jet ski trip which went through a jungle where there were crocodiles in the water. Yikes! While on the jet skis, my husband hit a wave, my neck flew back, and my jaw smacked together. About that day or the next, I experienced a dizzy, floating sensation every time I leaned over. This had happened to me once in Montreal two years prior. A doctor had told me she thought I had labrynthitis and that it would be gone in three weeks. It disappeared exactly three weeks later. This time, when the sensation didn't go away I went on line and read about a syndrome known as Mal de Debarquement Disorder. It is a "rare" condition that mainly affects women in their 40's. What happens is a person goes on a cruise or long airplane ride and when they disembark their brain cannot readapt to stable land. They continue to feel as if they are rocking, floating, moving, etc. After three doctors told me they couldn't figure out what was wrong I gave myself this diagnosis because it was the only one that fit. The problem is, there is no cure and it can last for years and years. Then, I re-read Sarno's book, the Mindbody Prescription, and I started seeing myself all over that book. I am a definitely a TMS person. Dr. Sarno did mention dizziness as well. I realized there were some similarities in the people to had MDDS to the people with TMS, i.e. many women talked about having fibromyalgia, migraine headaches, and the one common denominator was that the women were under a great deal of stress when they went on the trip that caused the dizziness. I knew immediately that Mal de Debarquement was actually TMS. I saw Dr. David Schechter, in Beverly Hills, and he confirmed that I do indeed have TMS and this dizzy, floaty thing is my manifestation. I have conditioned myself to get it when I see certain people or get in certain situations. I'm working very hard to re-condition myself but it is really hard. Any thoughts? Anyone else out there who has had a similar situation? By the way, some of the people who had the "disembarkment" problem didn't even need to go on a plane or boat to get it. They just woke up that way, always during a stressful time. Dr. Sarno talks about the middle age years being a difficult time, i.e. children growing up and moving out, greater responsibility. My first experience with the dizzy feeling came at the age of 41. I traveled many times between the ages of 41 and 43 and then the trip to Cancun happened. The common factor during both trips was stress. TMS is a tricky thing.
Laura
P.S. Sorry about the long post. I realized after I started that in order to tell the whole story it would take up some room. I promise to be more brief next time!
|
| 20 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Laura |
Posted - 03/13/2005 : 17:41:52
Elise,
I liked your analogy of the roots. Makes sense to me. The first time I got the dizzy thing, it didn't frighten me at all. I thought nothing of it and it went away promptly. The second time around, I got myself really worked up. I convinced myself I had Mal de Debarquement syndrome. You know, most of the women who had that were in their 40's and it seems a lot of people see a correlation to hormones and dizziness. My dizziness is always almost nil when I have other TMS ailments, like stomach problems. My stomach problems have resolved and I was just thinking about how I'm pretty much pain/illness/symptom free for the first time in a LONGGGG time. Then, today I got dizzy, briefly, a couple of times. I liked your post and found it encouraging. Take care.
Laura
|
| elise8 |
Posted - 03/13/2005 : 14:18:05
I can't help but thinking that when my dizziness started it was an acutal REAL pysiologic problem triggered my hormonal changes of menopause as this is when my first dizziness started. Because it was such a frightening experience (the first vertigo attack), the brain then latched on to it and the whole thing escalated from there. It worked so well at instilling fear in me and distracting me from my other problems that soon enough it became chronic. I think it is the same with chronic back pain. The first episode is so painful and frightening that if we allow ourselves to be frightened by it then that is the first root in to our subconscious. Once it has established a strong root system, it becomes harder to dig up and get rid of it. We just have to keep on reminding ourselves that it is just a memory within our cellular system and that it is really harmless and cannot harm us... Anyway, easier said than done I know but I am determined to keep on trying. I still only have the dizziness episodes at night during sleep time. I am really fine during the day other than still battling with my shoulder problem. TMS methods have not worked well for me in this situation. I have made improvement to about 40% more range of motion with physical therapy sessions for a month now. I know PT is a bad word around here in Sarno land but hey, it has helped me with my "frozen shoudler" so far and if it gets rid of it then fine by me... I really think in some cases that Sarno would recommend PT in SOME cases. Maybe my shoulder problem would be one of them. I will give it another month or so. They do not baby me in PT that's for sure. They encourage movement and their goal is to get me out of there as soon as possible. That place is a very busy place.
Take care
Elise
Elise8 |
| Laura |
Posted - 03/10/2005 : 18:04:02
Caroline,
I hope you find this and read it. After I posted on the other thread I pulled this up to make it easier for you to find. Good luck!
Laura
|
| Ginag |
Posted - 01/26/2005 : 10:26:58
Hi Laura, Quite happy that we are both "feeling back to normal." It was just a little sidetrip away from "the dizzies." I was really stimulated by your last posting. With your reference to the influence of other peoples' TMS, I don't think I identify with that at all. My firm belief is that I ALWAYS had a problem with some form of imbalance and as Dr. S. says, TMS likes to focus on a physically weak spot to set up house. As a child, I had a hard time learning to ride my two wheel bike, I fell at 8th grade gradulation, I never felt comfortable standing on a chair to reach for something, in high school I always needed to hold on to a friend to get off the bleachers, motion sickness, etc. So it's pretty obvious I was not a candidate to ice skate either, although I loved to roller skate and was good at it. I thought I was a normal child and never considered myself handicapped in any way. But in retrospect, I believe my history shows someone who had a disposition to imbalance and dizziness.
Does anyone else in our group have a similar history of these problems? I think your answers could have a good deal of relevance. As for the idea that we suffer with dizziness because we don't feel we will ever be good enough - I can't say that that concept describes me at all. I don't mean to brag, but I'm pretty darn good at many things I tackle. I've also been pretty proud of my accomplishments during my life. And, yes, I agree that while there is always room for improvement, I don't feel I let myself down in life.
I guess we really need to hear from the others in our group with regard to these two issues. This interaction among us is so invaluable for our search for information. Laura, your input with regard to your sessions is the exact catalyst we need. It provides us with topics we can discuss and compare with our dizzy group. Thanx so much for sharing with us!!!
Gina |
| Laura |
Posted - 01/25/2005 : 17:51:05
Gina,
I'm sorry to hear you've been sick. I felt horrible for about five days but now it seems to be clearing up. Glad to hear you're on the mend too.
Hey, I was just reading a post by Holly and something struck me. She was talking about the fact that sometimes just by reading about the TMS equivalents of everyone else, our brains seem to take on those symptoms. I never really gave it much thought, but almost three years ago when I was going on the trip to Cancun, we went to visit my in-laws out in Palm Desert. My mother-in-law was asking me about the time I got dizzy and wondering how long it lasted. She had been feeling dizzy for weeks and was concerned. I told her about my experience and didn't think much about it. A few days later, we left for Cancun and the vertigo started all over again. I don't know why I've never put two and two together until now, but it seems to me that my wonderful brain must have said "Ah, hah! This is something we must use again to distract Laura. Let's make her dizzy!" Well, it worked!!!!! I can't believe I didn't think about that before. I guess I've been too busy trying make it go away. Sometimes something so obvious is easily overlooked.
I had an interesting session with Dr. Dubin (the TMS psychologist) today. He told me that the reason the dizziness happens to me is because it's just a little reminder to myself that I'll never be good enough. It grabs my attention to shake me and say "Laura, you'll never be a good enough wife, mother, daughter, friend, photographer....." It makes sense to me. I shared with Dr. Dubin some of the posts from this forum and he's going to pass them onto some other patients. He keeps in contact with Dr. Sarno and is hoping to see him this Spring. Maybe he'll take them with him and show him to Dr. Sarno. He had other things to say too that I found helpful. All in all it was a very productive visit.
Take care everyone!
Laura
|
| Ginag |
Posted - 01/25/2005 : 11:43:11
Hi All - I guess it means "good news" if we've all been kind of quiet. At least I hope so... It seems I caught Laura's cold. Sympathy and true bonding, you know. But we can't allow our Dizziness thread to wind down. Afterall, it seems ours is the "hottest" thread of all. So, come on, girls - visit or call those parents. Work up a little sweat and anger. Then practice different methods of dealing with it to find out what works to eliminate the suffering we have. No pain, no gain.
Gina |
| Laura |
Posted - 01/24/2005 : 19:22:36
Kajsa,
Boy, did you get that one right!!! Thanks.
Hilary, Gina, Anne, Carol, Elise, and anyone else I might have forgotten,
Hope this post finds you all in "The NO SPIN ZONE." It's been a little quiet on this thread. How is everyone doing this week?
Laura
|
| Hilary |
Posted - 01/23/2005 : 11:49:45
This is a really, really good point, Kajsa, and an excellent way to think about symptoms. Thanks!
quote:
Originally posted by Kajsa
I myself go betwen pain and fatigue.
Do noy know wich one I hate or love the most.
As for prefering the cold I do not belive you! But you always will
prefer the symptoms that you really havn´t SUFFERED from for a LONG and devestating time.
The cold isn´ scarry for you -the way the dizziness are. But if you
had been having a cold on and of for five years with fever and all the rest and it made your life a hell,you would perhaps have wellcomed som dizziness.
Kajsa
|
| Kajsa |
Posted - 01/23/2005 : 08:35:40
Laura
Make the knowledge last! (not the cold...)
You made a really good observation.
The knowledge that one symptoms can "do the job" as well as
the other. The job to distract you.
I am sure you have been aware of this before (of course) but it can be good to really
have it presented to you in an obvious way.
I myself go betwen pain and fatigue.
Do noy know wich one I hate or love the most.
As for prefering the cold I do not belive you! But you always will
prefer the symptoms that you really havn´t SUFFERED from for a LONG and devestating time.
The cold isn´ scarry for you -the way the dizziness are. But if you
had been having a cold on and of for five years with fever and all the rest and it made your life a hell,you would perhaps have wellcomed som dizziness.
Kajsa |
| Laura |
Posted - 01/21/2005 : 09:26:12
Hey, everyone -
Want to not be dizzy for a whole day? I've got the answer. Get a cold!!!! Yesterday, I was so fixated on: Sneezing 8,000 times, wondering if it's going in my chest and I'll be coughing forever, my raw, painful nose which is sore from blowing it, and if I'll be well enough by Saturday night to keep the plans I made with friends. It's interesting how you get one thing and you forget about another. Now, if I can only make this last... I'll take the cold over the dizziness any day!
Laura
|
| Laura |
Posted - 01/20/2005 : 12:26:49
Gina,
I just responded also on the "Am I going crazy? thread so please read it when you have a moment. It addresses what you asked about whether or not maybe my upbringing it making me think negatively and that maybe she cares more than I think. Doubtful. If I had not sent that little RSVP card back, who knows how much longer until I would have heard from her. It's just plain weird, and even weirder to set her son up to calling me.
No, I'm not a Scorpio. I'm a Gemini. My husband and oldest daughter are Libras, very balanced and calm (usually). My youngest daughter and are were born two days apart, so we are both Geminis and are very much alike. In fact, she is me as a child and she has so many of my mannerisms, it's scary!!!
I will say that although my husband is more balanced and calm most of the time, and although he was raised with a very loving mother in a very loving, nurturing home, I am finding that 99% of the time lately it is ME who is trying to calm him down. My daily advice to him, my mantra if you will, is "Everything will work out the way it should." I truly believe that. He is thinking so negatively lately that it's hard to try to be the strong one day after day, for months and months on end. When he was in his old job, all I heard about was how they were screwing with him and weren't treating him right. He kept telling me he was going to make so much money at this new job and I encouraged him for the longest time (years and years) to get out. Part of me feels guilt over this, because now he's in the new job, working his butt off, and not making any money. We have bills to pay, and no money to pay them. That would stress anyone out. His boss told him yesterday that he sounds "desperate" while he's talking to potential loan customers. Of course he sounds desperate; he is desperate!!! Anyway, I'm trying to be strong and continue to give him daily encouragement, but sometimes it's like the same song playing over and over and you start to get a bit tired of hearing it. I told him this morning, before he left for work, "Be confident. You're the best loan officer in the world." I'm trying my best to continue to be his number one cheerleader but sometimes I get really frustrated. I just want him to succeed. He's always been so strong and I need him to be strong now so that I can be vulnerable.
Well, I'm off to get some cold medicine and a new printer cartrige (although I'm not sure how I'm paying for them yet!). Thanks for your post, Gina!
Laura
|
| Ginag |
Posted - 01/20/2005 : 09:44:10
Hi Laura - I was surprised to hear your "friend" had her son call you. Maybe she cares more about you than you think???? Sometimes we view things too negatively and cause ourselves more pain than necessary. I know I do that frequently. Parental Conditioning, you know... Screws up all our relationships. Laura, when is your birthday?? You wouldn't happen to be a Scorpio??? If you say yes - I'll flip!!!! We have so many things in common, I just had to ask. By the way, I'm married to a Sagittarius and my mother is a Libra. Lately, I've been attempting to practice my husband's attitude about life--no sense in worrying about something if you can't change it. So I will say to you, your husband has every chance to succeed in his new venture, so look at the positive side of things and try to believe everything will work out. It's just as easy to anticipate good as bad - it just depends on where you allow your mind to go. I'm a real worrier. Lately, when I'm worried about something, I ask myself -- will this matter to me a month from now. In some instances, it kind of puts things in the proper perspective and helps eliminate some of the worry. I know I suffer much more imbalance and dizziness when I'm worried to the extreme. Gina |
| Laura |
Posted - 01/19/2005 : 22:34:38
Hello, all my fellow dizzy TMSers. How is everyone doing today? Gina, I read your post on the other thread and I laughed. It only makes sense we would marry the same type of husband (I've always said I married my mom, some of her personality traits at least). Hope this finds you well and in the spin free zone.
Hi to Hilary and Carol as well. Hope you are doing well. I'm having a heck of a time with this friend/bar mitzvah problem. My TMS gremlin is off and running, having a party throughout my entire body. My nose is stuffed up, my head is spinning, my eye is red and sore, and the weird mouth problem is quite bothersome. I'm longing to sit back and relax and not have a care in the world. Instead, I'm worrying like crazy about my husband's new job and lack of money coming in, and I'm dreading it every time the phone rings because this friend isn't letting up. She even had her son, the 13 year old bar mitzvah one, call me.
Calgon, take me away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Laura
|
| Laura |
Posted - 01/16/2005 : 23:48:08
Hilary,
Your last post made me so sad, realizing that we are all suffering from the same problem with what appears to stem from the same root. I'm trying to keep my parents at arms length right now. I had just about enough of them over the holidays. But then, my parents live in Michigan (we all met in Texas at my sister's) and I only see them about once a year. Yours must live close by. I sympathize with you and Gina and the others that have to deal with the bulls--- all the time. I would lose my mind!!!!
Just remember you're not alone and that many of the rest of us have gone through similar situations. When I was growing up I wanted to be a model. Lots of people told me I could make it as a model and I loved the whole fashion world. I had pictures all over my walls of all my favorite models and I would dream about one day becoming one. My mom always told me "You shouldn't even bother trying. You just aren't pretty enough." My 12 year old daughter wants to be a model and I totally support her. She is so pretty and I tell her so all the time. I think when we let our parents live out their dreams through us and we stop trying to do what we truly want, a part of us dies that we never really fully recover from. You had to do what your parents told you, when they told you, and were not free to have thoughts and opinions of your own. I know. I lived it too.
The great news is that now, as adults, we can try to find something that's ours and we can do what we want to do. I try not to tell my parents much of anything that I do because I don't want to hear their insults. I'm a photographer, specializing in hand tinted portraits, mainly children and babies. I love what I do and apparently so do my customers because I get a lot of work. My parents have NEVER had a kind word to say to me about any portraits I've shown them. Not once have they said anything for that matter. My husband's mother, in contrast, has nothing but praise for me and makes up for what my own mother lacks. Sometimes we get what we need from everyone other than our parents, it's sad.
I hope this finds you feeling less dizzy. My husband, who doesn't really suffer from vertigo or dizziness per se, tells me that being around certain people with "weird energy" makes him feel "off balance." He says it happens to him occasionally with some people. For you, your mother is one of those people. Try and limit your time with her if you have to. I know it's easier said than done!
Laura
|
| Hilary |
Posted - 01/16/2005 : 16:09:00
Thanks, Gina, for your response. I'm glad the weekend's over. I've been "crazy dizzy". I also saw my parents. I can't tell you how confused I get around them. I feel as if they went wrong, badly wrong, in the way they raised me, but of course I'm not going to say that. I just resent the hell out of them for what they did. The deeper I go into this, the more I realize that they moulded me into a shape of their choosing which wasn't of my choosing at all. Very early on I figured out what I had to do to get attention: be good, cute, obedient, try to make up for the fact that mum's childhood was horrible, excel in everything, don't compete, don't show off, don't talk about myself, be grateful. If I was interested in something outside the prescribed list, it was completely ignored. And I completely lost me along the way. This makes me sadder (and, yeah, angrier) than I can bear, at times. At 37 I'm only just starting to figure out what I like and don't like.
I'm going to see a new therapist on Thursday. Feel like I need the help. |
| Laura |
Posted - 01/15/2005 : 11:46:51
Hey, everyone -
Yesterday I was cleaning house all day and thinking long and hard about some current issues that are aggravating me and stirring up my dizziness. My husband and I have been feuding for two days and I'm ending my relationhip with my best friend (if you haven't already read my post entitled "Am I going crazy?)
Usually when I clean house there are certain chores that I do that seem to bring on the dizziness more than ever. Yesterday, when this would happen I would think about what it was I was thinking about just at that moment. I actually laughed out loud because I realized that when I am cleaning, my mind is racing a mile a minute thinking about all sorts of things. Things like, will I get done in time to get dinner made or how much I hate cleaning and wish I had the money to hire someone, etc. I realized this a long time ago, i.e. that my thoughts provoke the dizzy feeling. But yesterday, I actually laughed out loud about it for the first time and I truly saw a direct correlation. Like, why would cleaning a bathtub make you dizzy? Because it's happened before and I expect it to happen again.
Anyway, just thought I'd share that with you all. My head is much clearer today as far as my situation with my ex-friend. Now I just need to work on building my relationship with my husband. All the feuding has left me feeling like we need to make some changes.
Hope you are all enjoying a dizzy free day. Keep on posting and getting those feelings out. It is the key to all of our well being.
Laura
|
| Ginag |
Posted - 01/14/2005 : 15:53:50
Hi Carol, I agree with you. I sincerely think opening up and discussing our parents in this forum is good for us. Sure our husbands and children may have heard it all, but confiding in this manner to each other is like committing a taboo. It's so much more revealing of our inner emotions. And isn't that what it's all about? I think we are encouraging each other to open up about things we haven't thought about for many years. Just by writing about these emotional occurrences releases the anger and emotion, brings it to the surface, and that is good. If one of us has a bad day, maybe it will be therapeutic for us. I know I felt a little better today than usual - and that's rare for me. So, girls, let's keep this thing of ours going.....
Gina |
| Ginag |
Posted - 01/14/2005 : 15:42:33
Hi Hillary, If I had to endure someone preaching to me in that manner, I would "flip out." I'm not saying it's good to whine and worry about every little thing, but that attitude is wishful thinking and living in lala land. I think people like that have their own set of problems. At least we're trying to deal in a constructive manner. For your sake, I hope she isn't visiting with you too long. In the meantime, maybe you shouldn't even get into any heavy discussions with her. Good Luck!!! Gina |
| Ginag |
Posted - 01/14/2005 : 15:35:01
Hi Ladies, With reference to the kind of parents we've all made, I try to remember that I did the best I could. I know I didn't make the same mistakes my parents made - but no doubt, I made some doozies of my own. What I do know is that my 2 sons truly love me and that's all I could ever hope for. I've warned them to shoot me if I ever act like my mother. I try to be understanding in a way that my parents never were; and I must have done OK because they do sympathize with all I continue to endure with my mother. They even offer to take her off my hands for a few days every so often. But I really feel guilty saddling her with either one of them. The last time she stayed with my older son, (Her favorite which she doesn't even attempt to hide,) she stole 3 pieces of his silverware. When she came back home, I found them in her bag, accused her of taking them from my son. She proceeded to grab at them, and nastily told me they weren't his. Needless to say, I gave them back to my son. He laughed about the whole thing, but I was banging into walls with dizziness for the whole week to follow!! The ironic part about this is she's the kleptomaniac but is forever accusing us of taking her belongings. When she can't find something, the yelling, cursing and banging begin. At 82 years old, I'm sure dementia has only compounded her miserable personality. And I always thought she couldn't get any worse!!!! Yeah, RIGHT!!! Gina |
| Hilary |
Posted - 01/14/2005 : 11:17:26
Reading Laura's post. Good grief. I don't understand parents.
But then, I'm not a parent. I really wonder if I ever will be one. Sometimes I think I'd like to be; then I think about the crap that was pulled on me in the name of love. I just can't bear the thought of doing that to someone else.
At the same time, I think that self-awareness goes a really, really long way towards good parenting.
I'm currently reading John Lee's "Facing the Fire" which i think is an incredible book. He addresses the issues of children and parenting very well, I think (from the POV of one who has only been parented, not a paren, of course). It's the first book I've ever read that deals specifically with ways to release anger and seems to me completely groundbreaking. Painful to read, but deeply moving and actionable.
My dizziness has been bad today. Why? I ask myself. Well, a friend from the States is staying with me. I met her in a spiritually-oriented workshop I did last year. She is 20 and full of expressions like, "The universe will provide", "everything is turning out perfectly" and "I'm always so full of joy";
If she says, "Life's such a beautiful thing" or, "You just need to get in touch with your Higher Power" once more, I WILL SCREAM.
You know what enrages me? People talking at me hour after hour after hour. I feel utterly impotent with rage, and I don't know what to do about it, except remove myself physically from the situation. I end up feeling like an empty vessel for the other person to spew up in. And I just find it almost unbearably self-centred and dismissive of me. AND, I'm probably more than a little jealous. I wish I could take advantage of someone else in that way, but I'm always way too bloody worried I'm gonna bore the pants off people.
This sort of situation always raises MAJOR issues for me. Still figuring out why. |
|
|
