| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| chicago |
Posted - 04/14/2006 : 20:36:11
Recently someone said to me that I continue to have pain because I see things as black or white. In other words if I have a good experience (no pain while attending my son's soccer game) I feel great, like I'm on the verge of getting over nine years of chronic pain. The opposite is true if I go to the game and I'm in pain. I'm totally
defeated. I feel that I will never get better. If I could chart how I'm doing my trend is upward, but when I have a bad eposide like the last couple of days I'm totally defeated. How do you move beyond this black and white thinking. Can anyone relate. Thanks!! |
| 7 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Stryder |
Posted - 04/20/2006 : 18:11:24
My biggest problem is I over analyze things way too much instead of just "having a life" like normal people who don't try to make everything perfect.
Hey, that's a good line...
"Just have a life."
...it goes along with BB65s "Let go."
Take care, -Stryder
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| moose1 |
Posted - 04/20/2006 : 07:52:24
quote:
Originally posted by Dave
Think of TMS as a random process...The desire to control TMS is your enemy. You can't control it; it is unconscious, irrational, and random. Accept this, say "oh well" and do the work. Ignore the pain and think about what might be troubling you inside.
Man, this is the cold hard truth about TMS if I've ever heard it. What's difficult is maintaining this perspective while still staying on top of your TMS work. I had a couple of months where I slept great and woke up with no LBP whatsoever. Now I'm going through another spell of sleeping like crap, waking up at night with anxiety and feeling like someone whacked me in the back with a two by four as soon as I wake up. It sucks. Still, I know for a fact that it's just another round of my hidden brain's misguided habit of trying to distract me from the hellish brew of repressed emotions.
It's so true, for many people you can't control TMS. What you can control, however, is your concious thought process and attitude, and it's this part that can influence how your hidden brain will behave.
For people like me with a massive resevoir of repressed anger, self-loathing and other nasty things, TMS is an on-going battle. What I do is meditate for about 15 minutes a night and really focus on my anti-TMS thinking. Generally, the symptoms will get markedly worse for a few days then I'll have a nice stretch of feeling great, then the bastard will try again.
So just keep at it. The power for the unconcious mind in amazing.
Moose |
| molomaf |
Posted - 04/20/2006 : 07:09:06
When I first started out, I was so high on being painfree, that 6 mos later when I got the worst spasms I had ever had, I started to question what was going on. I had three days to think about it and realized that I had been in a situation where someone jokingly "attacked" me. My "goodist" was attacked. The weird thing about it was that in the past, it would take weeks to get through the spasms and the stiffness. When the three days were over, I felt no pain and no stiffness. It was then that I believed that the smallest thing if you aren't aware of it, can trigger pain. I started to become aware of how I perceived what was being said, or done to me. I would take a pre-emptive approach so that I wouldn't just "ignore" what was happening. That way, at least most of the time, I could head off what used to give me pain.
We all get pain from time to time. It's just that as you become totally convinced that the pain is from a psychological cause, that the pain happens less and less frequently and doesn't last long. And the fear goes with it.
Reading the books over and over helped me. It takes a while to totally convince the brain. As you see more and more how TMS works, the more you will be convinced.
Michele |
| chicago |
Posted - 04/19/2006 : 21:55:06
Anne and Dave thank you for the words of encouragement. In fact I had been doing well. Everything was in an upward direction until my latest crisis. When there's a crisis I usally fall off the band wagon and it takes me a few days to regroup. If its minor I will remind myself its TMS and it will pass and it gets better in a few hours but when its major it may take days, weeks. My latest crisis is a close family member having been at our house for Easter went home and had a heart attack and is now currently on a ventalator and things are very touch and go. One day there's good news and the next day there's bad. So since Sunday night I have been in constant pain even though I know its TMS. I know I'm avoiding how I feel and expressing it and dwelling on why I have these very bothersome symtoms and when will it ever end . I know thats a bad train of thought but I find my self there. I do take Klonopin which seems to be the only drug that helps to take the edge off but at the same time I realize I must face what I'm feeling- namely worry, fear, and anxiety. Sometimes I ask why can't I have those feelings without the pain. Why this awful pain has to accompany an allready difficult time. Any thoughts to help me get out of these negative thoughts would be helpful. Hopefully it may be helpful for others reading this post. Thanks!!!!!!!! |
| n/a |
Posted - 04/16/2006 : 02:59:15
Hi Chigago
I can certainly relate to what you say about seeing things in black and white. Feeling defeated when you have a relapse is a hard nut to crack; and no matter how bad the relapse is - that is what it is - you are not going back to the place you were in when you believed your TMS was a structural problem.
My recoverery was a 'drip drip' kind of thing - gradual, no overnight thing. Feeling good, physically and emotionally kind of sneaked up on me.
I got to the stage where I found myself enjoying each little success, and stopped dwelling on relapses. I could acknowledge them, think to myself, 'My back is painful, I'm having a TMS episode,' and just get on with whatever I was doing.
That took time - you can chart your upward trend. You could keep a journal, making sure that you concentrate on your successes and make sure you read about those successes when you feel down; or you could just (as I did) give yourself a little time to think about and dwell on every positive step I took along the way.
Best wishes
Anne
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| chicago |
Posted - 04/15/2006 : 21:09:44
Thanks Dave,
I do try and shrug off a bad episode and try not to get into the old thinking pattern. I'm going to continue to plug away. Sometimes I just want it to be over with but I know one has to take a long term view as you stated. Thanks for the words of encouragement. |
| Dave |
Posted - 04/15/2006 : 10:46:12
This is actually an interesting way of looking at it.
It is imperative to take a long-term view. Don't place too much importance on minute-to-minute or day-to-day experiences. Think of TMS as a random process.
It is important to recognize those times when you feel good, and pat yourself on the back. Be proud of yourself. This is an affirmation that the TMS diagnosis is correct. But at the same time, realize that this is only one step in the process. Next time you don't feel so good, remember that time when you did.
Similarly when you're in pain don't beat yourself up about it. The desire to control TMS is your enemy. You can't control it; it is unconscious, irrational, and random. Accept this, say "oh well" and do the work. Ignore the pain and think about what might be troubling you inside. |
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