| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Hillbilly |
Posted - 03/22/2006 : 16:06:18
I'm looking for help with my approach to this pain issue. I only get pain when I am doing something I prefer not to do. That is a fact. I can run, lift weights, throw baseballs, or anything else I want to do except stand or sit still in an environment in which I feel boxed in. That's when the pain hits. It sometimes subsides right away, but sometimes the stiffness lingers long afterward.
An example: Today I had to drive out to a Realtor's office to take an application because she didn't want to drive across the river to meet with me. I absolutely hate it when people think their time is more important than mine, but in my business we have to do what we can to get orders coming in. This causes a tremendous amount of anger in me, although no one on earth would ever guess that I thought a second time about it. So I repress it. What else can I do? While meeting with the couple, who were very nice and prepared, I began to feel the spasm coming at the base of my neck. I made it quick out of there, and sought solace in my car, reclined the seat, lay there for a few minutes, and drove home.
i got out TMP once home and started reading, but this is no relief any more in the throes of the pain. I can't really concentrate because my mind is so busy thinking about what is going to happen if this continues, yada-yada. So this wild idea came to me while obsessing over this thing once again. What about exposure therapy? This is a common practice in therapeutic realms for overcoming fear, such as we experience with panic attacks. Once I knew the symptoms weren't dangerous I could sit and deal with them. Pain is another story. It is so intense at times that I can't do anything. But have any of you forcefully put yourself in a position that you knew you were conditioned to have pain just so you could defy it?
I would like to hear your stories, if similar. My personal experience with this whole nightmarish year has been that I overcame panic only when I faced it and it lost its grip. The pain, which preceded the panic attacks, and was always a cause of my panic in the past, has lessened, waxed and waned, but it still there and very active when I find myself pushed past my limits at work, super-stressed or otherwise doing something I don't want to do. Like waiting in line at the check-out counter with someone ahead of me who buys everything in the store, then wants to price check half of it.
I have two little ones that miss their dad and a lovely wife who is tiring of me trying to fix this thing all the time and coming up empty.
Blessings,
Neil |
| 2 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| bend-over-backwards |
Posted - 03/22/2006 : 23:36:10
Hi Hillbilly,
I can certainly identify about the "time" issues. While writing down all of my experiences that might cause repressed anger and anxiety I added a paragraph on how I seem to always bend my schedule to accommodate anyone and everyone. In other words, my schedule and time always came in second. I considered their work, project or life more important and I always found a way to justify it. Naturally this builds up resentment over time. This is an issue I need to work on, a "goodist" tendency which is actually counter-productive and self demeaning.
B-o-b
All is not as it seems . . . |
| imdplum |
Posted - 03/22/2006 : 20:03:38
When you feel that anger building up, or when you're frustrated, you can choose to *feel* the emotion without acting on it. Of course, in the business world, you can't afford to act on the emotion, tell people to stuff it, or refuse to do the work that's needed for you to meet your objectives.
But you can take a few moments to breathe deeply, sink into yourself, and acknowledge, accept and allow those feelings. You'd be amazed what happens. Not only does pain not start because you're not repressing the emotions, the emotions themselves frequently just move on through, since you're not resisting them, fighting them, or otherwise becoming attached to them.
If you haven't ready Monte Hueftle's book "Get Rid of the Pain in Your Butt Now", you might want to get it, or at least download his mp3s. They go into this process quite a bit. Carolyn Myss and Eckhart Tolle also address the issue in their writings.
Chris |
|
|
