| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Laura |
Posted - 02/16/2006 : 12:20:37
Hi everyone,
I haven't been on the forum in a long time. Just too busy getting ready to start the next chapter in my life, moving out. After 20 years of marriage, I am moving into an apartment this Saturday and starting a whole new chapter. I am scared to death. I've been experiencing panic attacks and a great deal of stomach distress. No dizziness though (hooray!). A couple of mornings ago I was awakened at 3:00 in the morning with anxiety. I got up and felt really queasy, and next thing I know I'm throwing up violently in the bathroom. It was awful. I'm staying at a hotel this week, since it was getting unbearable to be at home. So, I'm crawling on the bathroom floor, feeling scared and very alone. I almost blacked out several times. Now, for the past two days I've had a great deal of nausea and stomach discomfort.
Is it merely a coincidence that I would get the "stomach flu" a few days before I'm about to make one of the most drastic changes of my entire life? I don't think so. When I was a kid, I remember our family had to move and it was so painful for me my stomach hurt for weeks. That is where I hold all my stress. So, it only stands to reason it would be happening now too.
Anyway, I will keep you all posted on the move and how things go. I'm scared out of my mind, yet at the same time, it is an exciting time in my life. I am trying to look at it that way and focus on the future and being happy.
Any words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated right now. Thanks everyone!
Laura
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| 9 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| lavitsef |
Posted - 02/22/2006 : 14:56:59
Hi, You need a male perspective. I did exactly what you did 10 years
ago including the affair.I was looney for about a year. I was surprised how hard it was. You just have to roll with the emotions.
I took Wayne Dyer`s advice and gave more to my ex that I felt I should.
It helped. As for the affair she left her husband also and we built a house togeather. That was great for 2 years before she went nuts
and left to be a holistic healer.
My ex married her ex and she eventually married a guy who would follow orders. I paid for the house so I still live there with three
Golden Retrievers. I am a very happy camper but it took a great deal of work and self acceptance. My TMS came out after all the hassles
were over. The last three years have been very calm and out comes
sciatica triggered by the slightest aggrivation. Getting better
Be carefull with the affair or any romance so soon after. Never works.
Unfortunately all the singles out there 45 + are either drunks or crazies. I gave up a few years ago. Be patient and good to yourself.
You will be fine and look back in amazement that it took so long
and that you beat youself up for NO REASON. Good luck
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| Laura |
Posted - 02/21/2006 : 23:24:23
Thanks Miehnesor. I have been without a computer for a few days. I appreciate your well wishes. I'm adjusting to my new life but it has been painfully difficult. Today I actually experienced some bouts of the dizziness, which I know is my TMS gremlin trying to distract me from the pain of what I'm going through. I spent the first two days in my new place crying. Yesterday was a much better day - no crying all day. Today was difficult. One step forward, two steps back. Anyway, I will continue to stay strong and to focus on my new life with my daughters.
Thank you again!
Laura |
| miehnesor |
Posted - 02/19/2006 : 18:36:01
Laura- You've really been through the mill but hopefully tomorrow is the beginning of a much better life for you. It's encouraging that the dizziness is gone. That says a lot. My guess is the other symptoms will ease as you start your life again. Best wishes. |
| Laura |
Posted - 02/17/2006 : 17:40:14
Thanks! I really appreciate the supportive words. Still feeling sick today. I have much more packing to do. I get the key to the new apt. in the morning. Wow. I can't believe it.
Again, thank you everyone.
Laura
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| Kajsa |
Posted - 02/17/2006 : 06:20:26
Hi Laura
Good luck to you.
You will have some rough time –but I am sure you will work it out.
Obviously your symptoms bugs you when you make this major changes. Just remember
-that doesn’t mean that you are doing the wrong thing.
I think that “getting independent” will be god for you. Earn your own money (despite a boring job,
it gives you self-esteem and a feeling of control that is very important.)
It is so much easier – in the short run –to depend on somebody else. But if you are not happy in that
relationship –it is devastating in the long run.
You are brave - so - all the best!
Kajsa
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| gevorgyan |
Posted - 02/17/2006 : 02:22:25
Hi Laura!
I have already recommended twice the book "Of Two Minds".
It is possible that one part of you is scared to dead by any simple change in your life. But you have the second one, which can be used to explain the scared one that there is nothing to worry about.
If you have so strong body reaction it means that a part of you is petrified and needs to be looked after. You mustn't ignore it.
Firstly you must love yourself to be loved by the others.
All you had written is very common for me, but I force this by repeating myself: I deserve to be loved, I fully deserve on happiness and welfare, I am really worth of it."
All above should be told by your parents, but probably was not.
it helps.
good luck
Monika
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| Laura |
Posted - 02/16/2006 : 19:21:59
Thanks guys. I really appreciate the support. It's been an extremely emotional day - packing up boxes. Stomach is in knots and the nausea won't stop. Hopefully once I get through Saturday it will get easier.
Thank you again!
Laura
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| bsdman |
Posted - 02/16/2006 : 15:32:24
Although I am extremely new to this forum, I feel I have leanred a few things. Laura, it seems you have very violent reactions to stress. I would first check in with the doctor to make sure a stomach flu IS what you have. If he says "there's nothing wrong with you" (likely), you can bet it would be rage, stress, and the like.
I'm learning that you should not ignore your source of rage. Don't "move-on". In other words, face those hard pressing issues and look them straight in the eye. I agree with molomaf... you are brave. Knowing that you can pull your self away from a bad situation like you did certainly means you can address your fears and rages in your current situation. You have a lot of inner strength. Build on that. |
| molomaf |
Posted - 02/16/2006 : 12:55:46
Hi Laura,
Glad you posted as I have been thinking about you and how you've been doing. I'm sure many on this board feel the same way. I want to let you know that you are so incredibly brave. I have a good friend who was willing to stay in an abusive relationship(it had only been a 4 month relationship) and it took about a dozen friends yelling at her for her to break up with him. She kept making excuses for his behavior.
I have not been in your shoes, but just want to wish you good luck. I'm sure your stomach issues will pass as you get used to your new way of life.
Michele |
