| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| optimism |
Posted - 02/15/2006 : 12:27:10
As I was reading some of the posts here I realized that I have a resistance to change.
That applies to everything, from job, to relationships. I have been at the same job for 9 years now (not so happy with my career choice), with the same people (not so happy about that as well), not sure what clothes to buy, furniture etc. I buy the things and after I come home I change my mind and return them to store. And always wearing the same clothes, unsure if the change will be good (why is that so important???), staying at the same job even I know I should be doing something else, staying with same people etc.
The funny thing is that I always believed that I was never afraid of making changes!! ;) But the results are saying all!!
I think that could be causing my TMS.
Can you recommend how to change this and be more relaxed about the changes?
How to decide what path to take even if it is a wrong one (and not question it later, why did I do this and that?
Is there any book to read?
Please help. Thanks
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| 2 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Special One |
Posted - 02/16/2006 : 01:27:04
I, too, have realized that "change" is a fear of mine and I believe it led to my tms symptoms. Both of my parents had serious health issues this year, (mom diagnosed with liver cancer, dad had a stroke and is recovering well, but still not completely himself). They are two of my strogest supporters in life. Facing these changes and the possibility of one of their deaths or serious impairment has been harder on me than I expected. I really thought that I was stronger. I also recently applied for a teaching job after two years of staying home with my two children. That felt scary instead of exciting. A few months ago I had to get a root canal and though it sounds funny, I think the change of having a crown instead of my whole real tooth has been a stress for me. One day I realized, "I'm afraid of change." It was an epiphany, and also a starting place to be able to face the fears with a new understanding.
To face change, I try to believe in my strength and intelligence. I often think or say aloud "I can do this." I'm working on being a more positive thinker to get out of the fear cycle. As far as knowing if a choice is right, it is hard. Sometimes it just feels right or wrong after the choice is made, but that doesn't help much. I read something today that struck me as insightful: "...seek always the most perfect thing to do, and forget self."
Yes, change is something we can all count on, so it is a good fear to conquer. We must believe that things are meant to work for the good. Change is an unknown, but it could be full of good. Discovering the TMS theory was a good change for me. At least knowing that "change" is causing some tms symptoms for you, this knowledge should help the symptoms to go away. I hope this helps a little.
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| polly |
Posted - 02/15/2006 : 19:41:53
Optimism,
I'm sure there are tons of books. I don't know one to recommend. I was struck by your topic when I came here to see what was going on.
I was taught by a very wise woman that the only thing you can ever really count on in life IS change. It is really the only constant thing in life. Resisting change is like trying to stop rain. Once I accepted this, my whole outlook changed. I spent years fighting, raging and worrying. You know what, it didn't change one outcome. It just made me sick.
Now I only worry about being the best person I can be and I accept everything else. I have more success now with far less self torture.
Good luck,
Polly |
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