| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| marytabby |
Posted - 02/06/2006 : 06:54:12
I just wanted to post about my TMS and how I truly believe in what Sarno says, which is that job-related stress can cause TMS to start, and can cause it to stop, once you leave the job. For the last 3 years, I worked in two different jobs working for very un-caring bosses. These were people who did not give a rat’s ass about me, personally, professionally or otherwise. I stayed in the jobs but continued to look for other opportunities within my company. The whole time I worked for these bad bosses, my TMS was raging. My neck and back were in spasm constantly. Of course, now that I know about TMS, I am able to divert these attacks. But, I can also say that since switching jobs/bosses in November, I am so much better. I love my job, love my new boss, and feel empowered and feel respected and treated like an adult. In the other jobs I did not feel this way and I was physically a wreck. I just wanted to add this because so many of us are in jobs we hate or work for bosses we aren’t happy with. I just wanted to point this out. Also, for what it’s worth, studies show that on average, people don’t leave jobs, they leave bosses. Thanks. Mary |
| 6 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| HilaryN |
Posted - 02/19/2006 : 16:21:11
2Scoops,
I’d like to offer you my sympathy, because I’ve been in a similar position to yours in the past. I was once in a job where I was given a “verbal warning” by my manager. She said that although the quality of my work was good, the quantity wasn’t sufficient. When I asked her what she meant by this (because the kind of work I do isn’t something one can quantify) it boiled down to the fact that I wasn’t seen to be working late. (I didn’t work late because I didn’t want to aggravate my RSI, which she knew about.)
For me, the fact of being given a warning and being considered incompetent (when previously I had always been considered good at my job) was much worse than the fear of losing my job. The night after I was given this warning I went home and cried and cried. At 2 o’clock in the morning I was still crying. I couldn’t see any way out of my situation. I couldn’t work late (the only way I could see to not be sacked) because I didn’t want to make my RSI worse, but I didn’t want to be sacked – that seemed a disgraceful thing. My mind was going round and round in circles. At 2 o’clock I decided that it was intolerable to be this miserable, so I decided then that I would leave my job. (I didn’t have dependents and I had some savings in the bank.)
Rather than make a hasty decision which I might later regret I decided to buy some time to think it over and I told my boss next day that I was going off sick for a while as I was unfit to work. My mind was made up, though, and within the week I handed in my notice.
I’d much rather work in a low-paid job with positive, friendly people than be unhappy at work. I’m happy to say that the job I’m in now is with such people.
One thing, though: you might want to check out your legal situation with a lawyer. (After I’d handed in my notice I told a lawyer friend of mine and he said I should have told him first…) It seems to me they are trying to get rid of you because of your “disability” – I don’t know what the law is in regard to that in the U.S.
Hilary N |
| HilaryN |
Posted - 02/07/2006 : 14:51:38
quote:
I nervously started a new job and my boss is great (so far so good!). He validates me and gives me coaching and makes me feel he's glad I'm around.
I agree this is very important for one’s wellbeing – not just goodists, I think it’s important for everyone to feel appreciated.
Hilary N |
| marytabby |
Posted - 02/06/2006 : 17:39:30
Yes 2scoops and Hillbilly, you both make pertinent points. I believe it's the "do-gooder" in us TMS types that just want our bosses to approve, to say "you did a good job" or "I'm really glad I hired you". For three years I kicked butt for these two managers, doing way more than anyone had ever done for them and the only time I heard from then was when things were not quite up to snuff. Never heard from them otherwise. My sibling died in September 2005 and my boss at that time didn't even have flowers sent to my house from the company. I got no sympathy when my brother died. A few months ago I nervously started a new job and my boss is great (so far so good!). He validates me and gives me coaching and makes me feel he's glad I'm around. I very rarely get that old haunting guilty/paranoia feeling that I'm just not measuring up. Those are the dangerous feelings that get us into trouble with our TMS. I can't stand sucky bosses. And now for the first time in my life I'm a boss and I'm remembering all the crappy stuff my other bosses did and I'm doing a much better job than any of them. So take that, all you crappy managers. There, I feel better now.  |
| 2scoops |
Posted - 02/06/2006 : 14:25:28
Although my symptoms did not start because of my current job, I believe my job may still be a factor. It's ironic you started this topic, because I just got out of talking with two of my sales managers. I originally worked in this warehouse at my company, and moved into sales when I had severe back pain. I moved because I could no longer do my warehouse position, due to the pain. My sales manager at this location, hired his son to work next to me, he is always helping his son, and his son never has a bad month, plus he has a pretty darn good territory. Anywayu, I was just put on probation, my conscious rage it pretty high right now. I had to sign a paper, stating that I did not average my quotoa for the last two months. So, if I don't hit it this month, they could let me go. I have a lot of pressure on me. I hate the fact that my future is reliant upon others. But Mary, I am right here and I don't think a lot from my two managers, they said they cared, but theor actions say otherwise. One of them told me I had to BS sometimes, and I am not down with that. I try to be honest in everything I do. My manager also, sits there on chat rooms, talking to other women, I do not know if he has cheated physically, but I know he has had emotional affairs, which IMO are just as bad. I can definetly sympathize on this subject, I do not like my boss. |
| Hillbilly |
Posted - 02/06/2006 : 14:03:39
I posted a very similar topic to this a couple of weeks ago. I knew the stress I was placing on myself at work and knew also how badly my family needed the money. The drawbacks, thouogh, are enormous, and much like both of you, I find myself fighting myself daily just to do ordinary tasks because I am so pissed off at the way I am treated, etc. There isn't an easy out for me, and that has me feeling boxed in. I am attempting to just do what comes natural to me and tell the child within me that wants to throw tantrums every time something happens that doesn't go my way to shut up. This self-against-self turmoil hits right at the heart of Sarno's theory and demonstrates why those 30-60 have more chronic back pain. We have responsibilities to take care of and can't just shoot the boss the bird and storm out (as I did a few times in my twenties). Job stress is near the top of my list of stressors, right under insecurity and perfectionism in my personality. When William Faulkner accepted the Nobel Prize for literature in 1950, he stated that the only thing worth writing about, the only thing worth the sweat and the agony was "the human heart in conflict with itself." Perhaps we should turn our journals into prize-winning literature? LOL |
| ferrisc |
Posted - 02/06/2006 : 07:26:09
I couldn't agree more. Through journaling I discovered that at the time when I first had problems with my hands and fingers (I work for a computer company, and spent 4 years dealing with RSI, or what I now understand to be TMS), I was feeling frustrated at work as I was doing a role I didn't want to do, and was being treated like a new graduate, despite having a number of years experience. Too much of what I did was for the companies benefit and not at all for mine, and did I receive any recognition for this...well you can guess!!
I now realise that my saw fingers was my bodies way of attempting to prevent me from doing the job that I didn't want to do. I truly believe that frustration, stress and unhappiness in the work place contribute to most chronic pain syndromes, be it RSI, back ache or whatever. It certainly was a key factor in triggering my pain. If only others recognised this as well.
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