| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Baseball65 |
Posted - 12/13/2005 : 05:38:09
There are more of the 'Moral Imperatives'
More of the Moral Imperative !
Having had that last little reminder was sort of instructive in that I realize more each year...haven't had Holiday related TMS in a long time,however this time it was funny...like watching an unruly child in a store who won't shut UP!
I only noticed it when: I was in shopping in a store I didn't want to be in e.g. My wife says we need 'Brita' filters.We go to Bed,Bath and Beyond (lame)...while we're there,she decides we need the new sinkmounted version (rage...why the F do we need to change) and then asks ME which version I want (rage..loaded question I can't answer honestly)...than sits there and goes through every single model and option with the salesperson (rage...We could be doing something worthwile right now..just pick one and LET'S Go!!!!!)...not to mention that we came there to buy something else altogether (rage)
Everytime I paranthetically inserted and emotion I ACTUALLY got a blast of fiery pain down my thigh (ridiculous).I had to come home and write about it before it made sense.
It would be remiss to not mention that earlier in that day I worked at hard labor for 9 hours without a twinge.
I see people post a lot more 'incidents' around the Holidays.Remember that it is then that we are under far more pressure to be a good guy/gal (Why) and be giving and generous(why) and to act lie an adult (why) and to get along with people we ordinarily fantasize of beaing to a pulp(like our in-laws...OUCH)
Than of course there is tradition and sentiment (boring) and many more times we are supposed to act accordingly..that is the wallpaper of maturity and adulthood (I don't want to act accordingly)
However,I've found that if I can bring these into my awareness,the TMS goes away and I can somehow,someway find it within myself to go shopping with my wife for a 500 dollar purse(Ouch,,,,why do you need that one?)
Hmmm... I wonder why my wife is rubbing HER neck when she finds I spent $500 on skateboard gear??
Merry Christmas....I mean 'Happy Holidays' (ouch)
-piggy
-
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up. |
| 12 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| marytabby |
Posted - 12/17/2005 : 04:46:22
I definitely have the holiday-induced TMS. This is why I missed two Christmases in three years. Last year was one of them. I am determined to have Christmas this year at my family's. Granted they are probably the reason I get TMS but now I know that.
I hope we all get through the holidays pain free. |
| polly |
Posted - 12/15/2005 : 19:07:24
Thank you, Susie and Marc. I just want to get done with this phase so I can know that any other pain is plain old sweet TMS.
And, I don't think I have unresolved rage. I have resolved rage. My rage made me one tough cookie in the business world and sent me places I never dreamed of. It's all the parts of the whole. It just still hurts sometimes. It really hurt watching the TV show. I was back in 1965 and I was scared and hurt and lost. I think if I'd just let myself cry it out I wouldn't have siezed up the next day. I was trying to stifle it so my husband didn't get too upset. I should have wailed to my pained hearts content.
Hope you all have a great holiday.
Polly
...and I already told them not to hook me up to a morphine pump. I stopped it the last time and got by on oral meds. If I can't have incense burning, candles dripping, Richie Havens singing, a bed on the floor with a giant cable wire spool being used as a table (with the India print sheet covering it) I don't like the feeling anymore. |
| Baseball65 |
Posted - 12/15/2005 : 11:08:10
quote:
Originally posted by polly
Marc,
I'm having my other hip replaced on Mon. Same thing happened. I have rheumatoid arthritis and I'm doing all kinds of health things for it, but this hip was too far gone to save.
I still follow the pricipals of the good Dr. Sarno. Last weekend PBS broadcast the first Barbra Streisand TV special she ever did from 1965. I watched it and wept almost violently. I was back in the place I was when I saw it originally in 1965. I was a young kid who'd been thru all the horrors a young girl in shelters and foster homes endures and Streisand was my hero...although I really don't like her anymore now.
My holidays will be spent in the hospital this year. The good news is that this is the end of the medical line for me.
Hi Polly.
Yeah...I guess your all out of hips to replace now (LOL)
I would imagine with A CHILDHOOD so bleak that the amount of repressed rage is substantial. I've discussed this with people at length,and I don't think it ever really completely leaves.
If you discuss this with someone who didn't understand TMS and the way our brains work they might say something dumb like "Just forgive and let go"...a sure formula for TMS. I'm sure there are ways to heal ala Louise Hay,but to intentionally try to blot it out of your Psyche is another subject altogether.
I'm sure your recovery will be as fast as your last one.One of my buddies in LA with the artificial hip just got back into competitive cycling and is doing 50 miles a day easy-cheesey.He also knows about TMS...it's a little tougher,as he sometimes can't distinguish what's real from not,but in the end we all arrive at the same place.
Glad to hear you're doing well and have a great Surgery/holiday....I raise my coffe cup in a toast to your Morphine drip (can I have a sip?)
LOL
-Marc
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up. |
| Susie |
Posted - 12/15/2005 : 08:44:00
Polly, it's good to hear from you. I watched the Streisand show too. I was suddenly back in highschool. Glad to hear this will be the end of your sugeries. You are finally getting rid of the pain you can't control and will be free to manage the rest, which you do control.I think it will be very liberating for you. Best of luck next week and continue to let us know how you're doing. You are truly inspirational. |
| polly |
Posted - 12/14/2005 : 19:27:04
Marc,
I love when you post. It's like pain put to poetry. I relate to all you relate.
I'm having my other hip replaced on Mon. Same thing happened. I have rheumatoid arthritis and I'm doing all kinds of health things for it, but this hip was too far gone to save.
I still follow the pricipals of the good Dr. Sarno. Last weekend PBS broadcast the first Barbra Streisand TV special she ever did from 1965. I watched it and wept almost violently. I was back in the place I was when I saw it originally in 1965. I was a young kid who'd been thru all the horrors a young girl in shelters and foster homes endures and Streisand was my hero...although I really don't like her anymore now.
When I watched it last week, I was a 50 yr. old woman feeling all that pain again. My husband walked in and tried to turn the TV off. I threatened to break his arm. I watched and wept.
The next morning I woke up and couldn't stand up. I had a pain in my back that was excrutiating. For a second I wondered if it was related to my hip. I went to the doctor on Mon. who said I'd thrown my back out because of the hip. I then went home and did everything I was told not to do. I KNEW what the pain was. It was gone in a couple of days. I was offered injections, alignments and such. I waited to recover from the brain burp that caused the pain.
And that's how I deal with TMS.
My holidays will be spent in the hospital this year. The good news is that this is the end of the medical line for me. And, I have a really strong handle on the TMS. This time next week my legs will be bionic. Now if I can only figure out how to get the flowing blond hair and perky boobs that Linday Wagner (Jamie Summers/The Bionic Woman) had.
You still inspire and are to be admired.
My best,
Polly |
| almost there |
Posted - 12/14/2005 : 18:22:00
Suz, I do agree with you that those of us that suffer with TMS will probably go from one thing to the other...gaining confidence in the knowledge that this is what it is...for us!
Fear is what makes it successful....fear is what we have to overcome!
We have each other! |
| Suz |
Posted - 12/14/2005 : 15:22:31
Good point, Baseball. I think you are right about emotional pain being a distraction. For 2 months, I had terrible emotional pain of getting over my broken engagement. It was agony. I had absolutely no sciatic pain. I thought it was all over but I realize that it had just taken the place of the physical pain.
I guess we just have to battle on - gaining more and more confidence in the diagnosis and ignoring the symptoms. |
| electraglideman |
Posted - 12/14/2005 : 08:52:22
Baseball,
Christmas has always been a downer for me. I can remember when I was a kid my parents would drill it into my head about how my brother and I had received all those nice presents for christmas when most of the children of the world got nothing and were starving to death. There I would be riding around on my new bicycle with a belly full of turkey and dressing feeling guilty. |
| Baseball65 |
Posted - 12/14/2005 : 05:48:40
@Laura..
Something I forgot to mention in my answer to Suz.during that brief flame-out,I had 3 or 4 no sciatica days..when me and my wife were fighting!!!..and that was emotional pain
The only reason I mention this is,you probably have plenty of it going on right now in your life...emotional pain.TMS only works to distract us....I don't think there is Much that could distract you from the world of hurt your in right now.
My case of marital discord is nowhere near as bad as yours....small skirmishes regarding stuff like raising the kids.Everytime I get mad at my wife,I usually 'stuff' it via repression,and am the 'good husband'
You are far past any such pretenses...thus No symptoms.
-good to hear from you
-piggy
-
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up. |
| Laura |
Posted - 12/13/2005 : 15:05:15
Interesting post. I'm going through my divorce proceedings right now, right smack in the midst of the holidays, and for whatever reason my dizziness and stomach problems seem waaayyyy better. I just don't get it. Usually, like you, things get worse.
I love this thread. It made me laugh out loud, especially the part about "Holiday a-hole on parade." Very funny.
Personally, I cannot wait to just get to January already.
Laura
|
| Baseball65 |
Posted - 12/13/2005 : 14:50:32
I'm liking "Holiday A-hole on parade"...kind of has a nice ring to it?? We'll record it with lots of chimes and bells to give it that Christmas type of vibe.
You know....Xmas is one time of the year I am soooooo grateful I found Sarno...People are always on the 'quest' to de-commercialize and de-materialize the Holidays.Nothing will make you know How you REALLY feel quicker than sciatica.....sort of like "The grinch who stole my F-ing life!!"
Nothing like some blood curdling scream pain to remind you that you really DON'T need a new sweater.
-piggy
-
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up. |
| Stryder |
Posted - 12/13/2005 : 09:43:21
BB65,
Wow, you wrote cool song lyrics. Next step is to set them to music.
-Stryder
Title: "Why does this flare up at the Holidays ?"
Lame. Rage...why the F do we need to change.
Rage..loaded question, I can't answer honestly.
Rage...We could be doing something worthwile right now..just pick one and LET'S Go!!!!!
Rage.
Ridiculous !
Why why why. Like our in-laws...OUCH!
Boring. I don't want to act accordingly.
Ouch,,,,why do you need that one?
Ha ha...I spent $500 on skateboard gear !!
Ouch |
