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 Serving my brain public notice

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T O P I C    R E V I E W
n/a Posted - 12/05/2005 : 13:34:28
"And I must resume all normal physical activity." - Number 8 in Dr. Sarno's 12 daily reminders

In the last couple of weeks I have been walking up the 18 floors in my apartment building to my apartment, and walking as much as possible for lengthy distances. All this has been done with considerable physical pain, but still I persist. One of the most important keys to recovery, according to Dr. Sarno, is to "resume all normal physical activity" and thus sending a signal to my brain that the pian is not due to a physical cause, but to inner repressed tension.

Given this reality, I am serving my brain public notice that beginning tommorrow morning I am hitting the gym with a vengence and going to give myself a strenuous workout several days a week. I will do this in order to send a message to my brain that I am convinced that the pain is not due to a structural problem and that the physical movements that I make are not the cause of my pain. In fact, this is conditioning which I must break. And I will break it. My brain and I are now at war and I am going to let it know who is the boss. You have lied to me long enough and I am calling you on your bluff. You lose and I win.

In the words of Dr. Sarno again: "One has to confront TMS, fight it, or the symptoms will continue."

To borrow the words from Winston Churchill's June 4, 1940 "We shall fight on the beaches" speech to the British House of Commons: "We shall not flag nor fail. We shall go on to the end.....we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength....We shall never surrender....."
20   L A T E S T    R E P L I E S    (Newest First)
n/a Posted - 01/09/2006 : 05:41:45
Repair,

You are doing the right thing. Fight back and you will prevail. Just from challenging the pain head on with the most vigorous activity and giving up journalling for awhile, I have reduced by symptoms by more than 40%.

repair Posted - 01/09/2006 : 05:22:10
Following Peter I decided to serve my brain severe notice. I was snowboarding for three days some hours per day. Today I am cold and muscles on my right side don't work. The fact is I was a bit cold before this weekend and I didn't have either courage or strong will to prepare physically for this effort.
But I am proud to dare snowboarding. If anyone had told me last winter I would have stood on snowboard I wouldn't have believed.
R
redskater Posted - 01/07/2006 : 07:42:33
that's great Peter! I'm starting back teaching skating this morning for the first time in over 7 years.

wishing you a pain-free day!

Gaye
n/a Posted - 01/06/2006 : 13:15:46
Well everyone, I have enrolled in the course and had to do a lot of running around to get connected to the university system as I have never taken a course at this university. I have a degree already and 6 courses at the masters level, but that was 12 years ago!!!

I am patting myself on the back as this is a HUGE, I MEAN HUGE, step for me. Wish me luck. I am ignoring the pain and moving on.....
robby Posted - 01/03/2006 : 11:32:27

Peter , your last post was really great ! I personally believe that you have TMS on the run , and the approach you are taking is absolutely correct.

I have ventured off into other readings , some very fascinating , but I now see it as part of my tms personality. Many tms'ers want new challenges constantly , and reading other books can seem to us an open , creative, process . However , when I got away from Sarno's method , I don't believe I was giving myself an honest chance to defeat TMS.

One of my challenges has been the unconscious desire to change , a trait that stems from low self esteem. You helped again to reinforce that this is unneccessary and actually counterproductive in beating TMS . Thank you.
Curiosity18 Posted - 01/02/2006 : 22:41:52
Peter,
I am not surprised that your symptoms have exacerbated since been confronted with the prospect of returning to school and/or competitive employment. Years ago before I discovered Sarno's work but was suffering with back and neck issues I decided to go back to school for my doctoral degree. Three months prior to starting my program I developed the worst TMS neck pain ever! I truly wanted to back out and change my plans, but it was a done deal. After all. I had just sold my home and quit my job to begin school on the other side of the country. Not long after beginning classes my pain level decreased significantly. You see, like many TMS sufferers, I did not feel I was good enough. I did not deserve to be in a doctoral program, and I would certainly be discovered to be an ignorant, incompetent loser. When I finally realized that it was possible for me to not only complete, but excel in a doctoral program my unconscious mind apparently became less threatened, and therefore did not feel in need of such a distraction. The same thing happened when I applied for residency, but by that time I discovered Sarno's work and the symptoms were short-lived. I've realized that whenever I'm confronted with a situation in which I don't feel "smart enough", or if my abilities are being questioned, my symptoms are often triggered. One thing that I have definitely learned with TMS over the years -- that no matter where you go, there you are. We don't change our personalities. I wish I could say that all of my TMS symptoms have subsided, but this hasn't been the case. But I have definitely made gains. You will bring your TMS personality into any environment that you enter into, whether in your home or in a competitive work place. It's continuing to do the work (talking to your brain, journaling, reading), even when you don't feel like it's making a difference -- that has really seemed to create the most changes. Peter, I know that you can succeed in new territory. Just realize that it may possibly trigger that dark place in your unconscious, but armed with the right tools, the light can quickly dissipate it. By the way, congratulations on conquering that ugly jaw pain!

Curiosity
n/a Posted - 01/02/2006 : 20:09:15
Thanks for all your comments. Just a brief comment, however, from me. These feelings are not something that I am consciously aware of or can even control, but it is something that I think might be going on inside of me. I may or may not be correct, which is not really the point once you understand Sarno's work. The goal is to think psychologically, resume normal physical activity and not think about the pain, and this is what I am trying to do.

I am not here to debate the merits or shortcomings of Dr. Sarno's work, I am simply letting you all know of my personal progress and my use of Dr. Sarno's methods to bring about my recovery. Some may find it inspiring, others may be bored to tears, and others my think I am doing it all wrong and that is all fine. All I know is that I have to get on with my life and I, like the rest of you, am trying the best way I know how.

Scottydog (Anne), your statement "so you must be competing with yourself or how you think you should do," is an excellent insight and thanks for it. Based on your brief self description, I think we would get along fine if we knew one another. I seem to seek out the underdog or neglected person in a crowd and draw myself to them. I have no idea why I do this, but I have dome this from a young age. I grew up developing a political leftist worldview and being concerned fot those less fortunate. I know what you are thinking now, that sounds like the "goodist" Dr. Sarno talks about, and you are probably correct.

One last thing, Serenity stated "You challenged the pain to see if it would abate, right." My responce is an absolute NO!!!!! I challenge the pain by sending a message to my brain to let it know that I do not believe the pain has a structural cause. This is the whole purpose of resuming normal physical activity. Babying my back and sore feet sends message that I believe that pain is due to some structural cause. When my doctor looks at all my tests, scracthes his head and says there is not a damn thing wrong with me in spite of the pain, and that he has never seen a case like mine in his 25 year practice, then I know that something very fishy is taking place.

Also Serenity, I have no way of knowing if TMS will pop up elsewhere in my body. I do know the jaw pain when away, and that is great! Also, my goal is not to challange the feelings that I have, but to acknowledge them and accept the fact they are part of who and what I am as a person. I have no interest in changing my personality, and thankfully, according to Dr. Sarno, I don't need to in order to bring about a recovery.

Wish all of you the best.

I will keep you posted........
miehnesor Posted - 01/02/2006 : 16:51:09
Peter- sounds like you are gaining on it. The question is why do you have this reaction to competition which as Hilary says is really a pretty natural human quality? It sounds like something major happened to you even earlier that caused your present belief system wrt competition. Perhaps getting to this truth and flushing this out can reveal what the symptoms are trying to protect you from.
Hilary Posted - 01/02/2006 : 10:37:17
Peter,

Kudos to you for exploring these problems and continuing to dig into the emotional subtext of your pain.

Competition is an interesting and complex topic. In therapy, I was helped by the insight that it's actually FINE - and normal - to feel competitive. On some level, have you been given the message that competition is bad? I certainly was, when I was younger: I had to excel in all fields, but wasn't "allowed" to display feelings of competitiveness. So I had to be some sort of buddhist child genius, being totally brilliant but not sullying myself in competition. Impossible!

Your anxiety may abate somewhat if you just let yourself be competitive. It may be that there is rage being generated because you're squelching this very natural human feeling. And "what you resist, persists" - if you deny yourself this feeling, it will create emotional havoc.

I had a huge insight recently watching my 3 year old nephew playing with his friends: he relishes competition, he WANTS to win. That's your inner child. It could be that if you give him a bit of space to feel competitive, the feelings of competition actually turn out to be much less frightening and anxiety-producing than you think. That's what I found anyway!
Scottydog Posted - 01/02/2006 : 01:23:09
Hello Peter,

You say "re-entering human society and going to work or school. This represents a competitive environment" but I don't understand why you consider it competitive. How you do in your university exams is only important to you - no one else really cares if Peter McKay passes or fails - so you must be competing with yourself or how you think you should do.
And "have to enter a competitive work environment" - work is where you go to do a repetitive job for 8 hours a day to earn a salary at the end of the month. It isn't always competitive - unless you are a real high flyer.

I can see connections with my own situation as I returned to work a couple of years ago. Read Sarno a year ago but only now can say I genuinely enjoy going to work. I returned as it was too boring and lonely not working but have self esteem problems and felt I din't fit in and took many slights (or imagined slights) or criticisms personally. Journalling and alot of thought and self help books have improved my attitude and I realise the problem was with me - not other people's unfriendliness.

I am also very tactless (which doesn't help in the work situation but I am improving slowly there too!) and struggle to sound sympathetic on messageboards so hope you won't take offence at my comments.

Best wishes
Anne
n/a Posted - 01/01/2006 : 08:26:54
Ok, here is what I think is going on.

For the past 7 years or so I have worked from home in a non competitive environment. I never really had to answer to or compete with anyone. This has made me isolated from human company, but also not having to face a competitive environment. I have low self-esteem issues and competition creates a lot of anxiety and anger within me. This has been true for me even from childhood when I would do anything to get out of gym class. I would even develop really bad ecema so I could avoid particpating in gym class. Competition, at least for me, is an imposition on the self and my self worth is challenged. My pain began shortly before I lost my home job, and I knew in advance that I would be losing this job. This means I would have to go back out into the regular work world and face the competition. Note also that my wife said I was really driven in this job and self disciplined. But maybe, unconsciously, what drove me was to do a good job so that I would not lose this job and thus have to enter a competitive work environment.

Recently I have been challenging the pain with more success and breaking many barriers, except for one - re-entering human society and going to work or school. This represents a competitive environment, something I dread and which, as I stated, generates anxiety and anger (think imposition and low self-esteem). I was really contemplating on going back to university and taking a course and in doing so the pain is further challenged as the prospect of going back to school internally frightens me. So pain increases, and even develops in new areas, to keep my attention away from these feelings.
Curiosity18 Posted - 12/31/2005 : 18:21:17
Peter,
you are such an inspiration! Please hang in there, and know that this jaw pain will also pass. Unless you fell headfirst from a 20 foot scaffold, your jaw is basically normal. I know that you must be in a great deal of discomfort, but remember that it is only a distraction, and that TMS counts on discouragement in order to survive.

Curiosity
n/a Posted - 12/31/2005 : 16:01:27
well I am having a big setback this weekend and have developed a new symptom - jaw pain, and it is not funny. My head is so screwed up over this and I feel I have to start all over again. Sarno warned us this would happen.
gevorgyan Posted - 12/29/2005 : 00:52:53
Peter,
I have long term different treatments behind me, I guess like lot of us, I have read only 3 times Sarno’s book. During time of pain I’ve met so many spine specialist and all of them assured me that it would pass away. Since I have met Sarno’s theory I believe in it and I am not going to take any single medicine any one manual treatment, because now I am sure that here “only” emotions impede.
Sarno wrote very good book for people who want to understand and indeed lot of this is clear and understandable. But not all or some thing I want to be sure about, that why I am asking questions to people so advanced in treatment like you are.
I know that I can learn be heart the book, but this is not a new religion.
I am trying to learn the experience from the others and get rid of my doubts.
Please understand me, in my country the TMS is unknown, there is no such a forum and here I have entered the forum where are already cured people or in the process.
n/a Posted - 12/28/2005 : 18:33:33
Please read Dr. Sarno's psychology and treatment sections in his Helaing Back Pain and MindBody Prescription over and over and over again. Read them at least 5 times each and then come back to the board with your questions. You will get a lot of insight if you do this.
gevorgyan Posted - 12/28/2005 : 12:37:24
Peter,
During Christmas I felt like totally recovered. I have enjoyed time with my husband and girls.
I have felt wonderful blessing Sarno, TMS forum and the day when I found the book in internet. I was picked up my girls, I was dancing and during night I was making things : ) which I was almost forgotten.
Next morning I had to wake up early and go to the work which I hate and I felt again like crashed by car.
The day before I did everything in order to convince my mind that I am fit.
So, I can unfortunately feel that it is about the emotions also concerned with my work. But I am not so sure about the sense of convincing the mind. Because to whom we should serve the notice? To unconscious? But we’ve already known that it is irrational?
How to logically convince something which is illogical?

About your need to be adored and appreciated I have the same.
But it is sense (I guess) to feel the anger on something or someone.
But how to have an anger on indifference? I think this can be my main problem during this treatment. Do you have any hint?
n/a Posted - 12/28/2005 : 09:19:33
gevorgyan,

My physical efforts are my way of challenging the pain to let my brain know I do not believe that the pain is of a physical origin. As Dr. Sarno says "One has to confront TMS, fight it, or the symptoms will continue. Losing one's fear and resuming normal physical activity is possibly the most important part of the therapeutic process."

I also do journaling to gain insights into my personality traits. I have learned that I have a strong desire to be loved, admired and appreciated. This is most likley due to low self esteem issues that I have. When these desires are not met- especially when I feel I am entitled to them - I become inwardly angry and hurt. These desires- which are buried deep im my unconscious - are both painful and embrassing. I think I have lashed out at people in the past to distract me from these inward issues. (so if I lash out at people on this board at time you may know now what is going on) In fact, our conscious emotions are usually a clever distration of what is really taking place inside of us.

The physical pain is there in my body to distract me from what it taking place on the inside and thus preventing these feelings from surfacing into my consciousness. I must think about this, especially when I become aware of the pain.

I hope this helps........Get active asap!
gevorgyan Posted - 12/28/2005 : 01:39:40
Peter,
I want to ask you if during your physical activity do you have the feeling that you are coping with the hidden emotions? I mean, does your physical effort help you to confront TMS? Or you do not thing about the emotions at all.
I am asking because I more and more often thing about finding some physical exercise to react the emotions.
marytabby Posted - 12/27/2005 : 17:01:23
Congrats. I also did this a year ago, I pushed myself to power walk where once I used to run. I pushed the body, pushed the mind and kept reading and coming here. Good for you.
Stryder Posted - 12/27/2005 : 16:55:27
Never give up. Never surrender.

Take care, -Stryder

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