| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Baseball65 |
Posted - 11/26/2005 : 19:25:45
Wow.
I keep reading people's strings and I can't get over how much the board and the nature of people's approach to their TMS has changed.I get the feeling that a lot of the people posting advice haven't 'gotten' it themselves.
I see people throwing around life changing advice e.g. "divorce her" or "quit that job" or "stand up to that person"...If it were that easy,I never would have had TMS in the first place.I have always been confrontational,violent and emotional.I have never 'sucked it up' very well.Since the inverse is NOT a cure to TMS,than it would seem that the action is not the solution.Knowledge is the solution in 99.9% of the cases,and any changes that come about have to come in the perceptions of the sufferer...and that takes time.If These result in external changes,no advice would be necessary...the implied action would be a logical next step in that persons individual development.
The only metaphor I can think of is a coach I once met(AND PUMMELED ON A REGULAR BASIS)....I asked one of his players what they practiced during their alloted practice time...he taught Baserunning.Never ever had batting practice though,and my team routinely beat his in double digits.
One day in a coaches tournament(in which I was 5 for 6 with a homer) I watched him strike out 3 times in a row...it became crystal clear to me why he didn't teach hitting.
Oh,don't get me wrong....periodically there is absolutely something that has to change before someone can recover such as a horrible marriage,an unchosen career or a family dynamic.However,fortunately for most of us the resolution of symptoms lies in merely acknowledging and continually focusing onthe fact that we know at a deeper level that this IS the sort of stuff TMS is made of.
Unfortunately,the majority of us from the culture of pills and presciptions don't like anything we can't change NOW...right Faux king NOW!
Otherwise,we'd ALL be divorced and we'd ALL be unemployed having told our bosses to Faux Cough,and of course I'd be dating a 20 year old stripper..a new one each week,you know...to keep it feeling fun???
I'd be driving a convertible and living on the beach.I'd go back to my old job of Drug dealer and armed felon,and everything would be just peachy...right??
Knowledge,patience and diligence are what cure this.Most people will spend hours researching the solution,but will not actually IN THE MOMENT apply the principles they have learned,thus people suffering in spite of 'getting it' a long time ago...allegedly.
I'm out...and ....I don't respond to coaching tips from .187 hitters.
Read the book and do the work!!
out
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The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up. |
| 15 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Suz |
Posted - 11/30/2005 : 13:26:51
I am a little confused by the nature of this discussion. What kind of discussions specifically would you guys like to focus on? Most of the threads I see here involve TMS in one way or another. Sometimes, the constant mention of other books annoys me as I think Sarno's literature works perfectly on its own.
Can anyone clarify what they are looking for? I don't want to offend the board and contribute to the "off topic" threads |
| Stryder |
Posted - 11/30/2005 : 08:08:42
Here's my opinion on the genesis of the board.
There are now 1500 topics, plus replies. When someones joins the board they don't take the time to look for answers to their questions that already exist in other topic replies. There are just too many to absorb on the first visit, so they just new up a new topic and ask away. Few people use the search feature (http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/search.asp?FORUM_ID=2). Some are looking for a quick fix, the magic bullet, a FAQ with their question at the top of the list. Unfortunately, TMS does not work that way since TMS is complex by nature.
I often recommend that people start at the oldest posts and work their way forward.
Percentage-wise, there are more posts with people simply venting as an approach to not repressing their anger, so they just vent it out here. This technique is not bad in and of itself but has changed the character of the board recently.
I think the best we all can do is read the book, do the work, be patient, lead by example, and foster better discussions.
My 2 cents, -Stryder |
| Scottydog |
Posted - 11/29/2005 : 13:13:42
Hi folks,
Susie said-
Hey Baseball, if you are out,I guess I'm out with you. I haven't related to most of the topics for the last couple of months but I thought it was just me. The board seems to be out of wack but maybe thats evolution. When I was in terrible pain, I was dramatically helped by listening to experienced Sarno practioners like Polly,Tennis Tom,and even the argumentative Austingary. So many now seem to be off topic.
Baseball said -
Knowledge,patience and diligence are what cure this.Most people will spend hours researching the solution,but will not actually IN THE MOMENT apply the principles they have learned,thus people suffering in spite of 'getting it' a long time ago...allegedly.
Thanks for this - it's really encouraging to know the board is now out of wack and I'm not actually in the moment - like you truly honest hard working, supportive (to each other) TMSers.
Really encouraging
anne
Scottydog |
| jilly_girl |
Posted - 11/29/2005 : 07:37:54
Thank you for the kind words Peter. As a Christian i believe everything happens for a reason. Even suffering. Blessings!
Jill |
| n/a |
Posted - 11/29/2005 : 07:00:59
Jill,
When you recover from your TMS, and I have faith you will, you will not longer need the Xanax. You will look back on this period of your life and be thankful for all the lessons you have learned and you will be stronger and a better person. |
| jilly_girl |
Posted - 11/27/2005 : 18:55:03
am i sensitive now baseball? yeah. dealing with difficult issues. Xanax helps. period. i dont give a **** what anyone thinks about me taking it. if you'd like to discuss Dr. Sarno feel free. i'd like to see what you say. as i said this is all new to me. glad your leg feels better.
Jill |
| Baseball65 |
Posted - 11/27/2005 : 16:51:28
quote:
i know pain doesnt disappear magically by believing it will.
Actually,in context of Dr. Sarnos' work,it does.Believing it is on the way out is an integral part of the success of TMS therapy
quote:
...i'd love to "get it and get over it" it just isnt that easy.
It's a hell of a lot easier than a lot of other things I've had to learn in my life...however,like most things it takes understanding,diligence and practice.
quote:
coming across as a know it all doesnt exactly make people listen to you
at least not the people who the post was directed at....the only people who took offense,is...uhh..You. You must be particularly sensitive...That's good...you ought to recover faster than most.So am I.I got better really fast.
quote:
i take Xanax so i guess i'm very bad.
hmmmm...since I never mentioned meds at all,but rather placeboes,I can only assume you don't know what a placebo is,or your xanax is acting as one.Last time I checked,Xanax was a short halflife,powerfully addictive benzodiazapine used primarily to combat anxiety...it is NOT a placebo,unless it is somehow making your pain diminish.
If taking Xanax makes someone 'Bad' than I suppose I'm as 'bad' as you are,as I have taken one from time to time,though usually to avoid an episode of violence as I have a history of putting my fist through walls.I used to pound on people,but I got really tired of going to Jail,so I limit my punches to drywall....I'm a plasterer on the side,so I can always repair it.
After my pain went away...about a year later,I was left with a residue of anger that was about to get me into a lot of trouble.I almost dropped some little punk at work who said something that was totally inappropriate.My pain was my 'defense' and having lost it,there was a short path between my emotions and my responses.
After much psychotherapy,it was agreed that I should probably have a small supply of medication so I could circumvent these episodes.at least long enough to get home,get quiet and write about them.This has been fairly effective and kept me out of trouble internally and externally for 6 years.I haven't had any episodes,and all my TMS symptoms have been reduced to warning shots.
However...for example,today.I had an incredible burning down the front of my leg.I'm in a crowded mall(rage) my son is bugging me and being interruptive(rage) and I'm angry at my wife for spending money on things I think unnecessary(rage/ridiculous)...This is NOT a good time to take xanax...this is a good time to write,reflect and rebute the pain by going out and skateboarding on the offending leg,making sure to put as much stress and force on it as possible,letting my subconscious know that "we're NOT going there"
...and it's gone.aborted.After I wrote and reflected,I had a discussion with my son and clarified my feelings on a sensitive issue(his continual intrusions upon my wife and I's conversations)...and as I sit here,it's a done deal.
This forum used to be a place where we discussed such episodes...what we were struggling with inside the context of Dr. Sarno's work,and how we had grown,awakened,conquered..It seems to have taken a turn towards being an open forum on alternative medicine,and flame throwing.....
-out
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The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up. |
| jilly_girl |
Posted - 11/27/2005 : 13:39:26
i take Xanax so i  guess i'm very bad. i guess i just should practice more or something. seriously, coming across as a know it all doesnt exactly make people listen to you. ...i'd love to "get it and get over it" it just isnt that easy.
Jill |
| EileenTM |
Posted - 11/27/2005 : 12:43:47
[quote]Originally posted by jilly_girl
i know pain doesnt disappear magically by believing it will.
Actually once it becomes second nature to think psychologically the pain often does magically disappear. Last night my husband and I were having some problems with our college age son home for Thanksgiving. About an hour later my husband starting having severe leg cramps. In the past these would have gone on for an hour and he would have attributed it to his running. Last night he linked it to upset about our son and the cramps just disappeared instantly. So it does work like that once you have acquired the skill. I have had similar "cures"
Keep practicing and you too will be able to do this. We consider learning about Dr. Sarno and TMS one of the best gifts we have been given.
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| Baseball65 |
Posted - 11/27/2005 : 08:52:48
quote:
and dont let those of us still working on it bore you!
Jill
I've never even heard of you or met you...I've only read your posts.Go back and read my post very carefully..I would never,ever call out a new person...Now,on the other hand,someone whose been here a long time still posting links to alternative medicine sites,talking about vitamin placeboes???
I'm callin' them out.
The importance of the simplicity of recovery from TMS must be maintained,lest it be hijacked by the homeopaths,chiropractors and other cranks................. and than none of us get better
Chill,Jill
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The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up. |
| n/a |
Posted - 11/27/2005 : 08:01:53
I think there was been a lot of sweeping generaliztions in Baseball's most recent comments. Yes, there are people who are struggling with the concepts and their is advice which is not really helpful to TMS recovery, but that is due to the fact those who recover leave the board and it always has to start afresh every 9 months or so. It is better to stay on topic than to just use this space to put down other board members who are really suffering. If anything, those who have been on the board the longest should show the most patience and gently guide the reast of us in the right direction. |
| Kajsa |
Posted - 11/27/2005 : 05:57:44
Baseball
I can relate to your thoughts - and I have also been less active on the board the last ten months (though
I have written some posts recently).
Not finding the posts so interesting.
But I do not agree that “taking action” is not important at all.
For some of us it is important - but not the first step - in recovering.
To take an extreme example - say that you are living in a relationship that you get sexual abused and
you have TMS pain - Sarno will help you to understand WHY you are in pain - but I guess you also have to do something about the relationship to get well. If you continue to be sexual abused you will continue to have pain.
A lot of people (not everybody) on the board describe that the voyage with Sarno also meant to change your life to some extend.
But the main thing is of course understanding the process. And our lives will never be perfect - we will always
have bad bosses and stupid husbands etc. We will never live in Pleasantville (thanks god).
And I think that once you learned about TMS you can deal with everyday trouble without getting pain.
It is of course important that the board not only deal with questions like “leave that wife…or change your job”. We are not here to be each others therapists - we are here to discuss TMS.
Kajsa
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| jilly_girl |
Posted - 11/26/2005 : 21:28:06
alas i am not as enlightened as some evidently. this is all new to me. i dont have all the answers and i know pain doesnt disappear magically by believing it will. not being sarcastic, its just how it is. remember some of us are very new to this whole idea and we appreciate any input. you guys who have it all figured out, well...count your blessings!. and dont let those of us still working on it bore you!
Jill |
| kdw |
Posted - 11/26/2005 : 20:55:32
Baseball, I just want you to know that while I have only posted on this forum a couple of times, I've been reading it for almost a year and your entries have been more valuable to me than you know. I have learned a lot from you and look forward to all advice you're willing to give. Truthfully, there will probably be little reason for me to keep checking this site if you (and a few of the others) stop posting. I cringe every time I see a newer member "disagree" with those of you who have been through all this and found your way out. I certainly hope I haven't contributed to the current batting average.
In peace,
kdw |
| Susie |
Posted - 11/26/2005 : 20:20:54
Hey Baseball, if you are out,I guess I'm out with you. I haven't related to most of the topics for the last couple of months but I thought it was just me. The board seems to be out of wack but maybe thats evolution. When I was in terrible pain, I was dramatically helped by listening to experienced Sarno practioners like Polly,Tennis Tom,and even the argumentative Austingary. So many now seem to be off topic. I've noticed most of the gang from last year have disapeared. Perhaps everyone is so improved they don't need the forum. For me, tms is something I will always live with and have been lucky enough to have learned to navigate around. Lately, I just haven't been able to relate to the board. Maybe it's just me. |
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