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 First Post - Venting and then 2 Quick Questions

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T O P I C    R E V I E W
dtburdick Posted - 11/14/2005 : 23:57:02
Feel free to skip the venting and go right to the questions at the bottom if you want. But, I needed to get this out as a sort of self-help thing I guess.

I read all of Mind Over Back Pain, but not yet read much of The MB Prescription. I absolutely will finish it this week and read it again and again. As most here, I've had a lifetime of horrible stress and multiple episodes of progressively worse pain that migrates here, there, and everywhere. Been there, done that to chiropractors, physical therapists, neurologists, orthopedists, neurosurgeons, etc. All of whom I had asked if my muscles could be causing both the pain and the degenerative vertebrae/disc problems which met with a resounding NO repeatedly. Of course I think to myself, why prescribe muscle relaxers if they aren't involved? Whatever.

Get this, two doctors reading my first MRI thought the images were backward because the pain was on the wrong side of my body based on the disc degeneration! Then, following the advice of my physical therapist I received a perfect placebo being told to stand up straight. It worked wonderfully for two years until my tenant destroyed my townhouse and I was forced to fully renovate it in 8 weeks, during which my beloved childhood Victorian home in which my sister currently lives, was accidentally 3-alarm burned by my brother! Gee, I wonder if THAT had anything to do with the horrible pain I've suffered this round. The pain was worse than ever and I haven't slept a good night's sleep in months.

I feel so lucky as I literally got Dr. Sarno's first book while waiting two hours between my doctor appointment to get my prescription for my second unfathomably painful MRI. Two days later the neurosurgeon told me I'd definitely need to have three cervical vertibrae fused. In fact he was kind of pressuring me to have it done this week! "Aside from surgery, nothing can be done." Why then, I asked myself, did the pain vanish for two years following my last attack. Why does my coworker get relief from sitting in exactly the "wrong" position?

I could feel the biggest edge of pain leave almost immediately when realizing my muscle theory was completely vindicated. He described my personality and life situation absolutely perfectly. I've dealt consciously with and ungodly number of tragedies in my life, terrible anxiety from 2nd grade through graduation, drug addiction, being gay, death of my first partner in my early 20's (which I handled completely alone as I was 100% closeted), an over-the-top stressful career, two complete home renovations, an extremly high-maintenance and agressive partner, two houses, and a boat/truck/lawn tractors, all of which broke repeatedly this year. I even had someone back into my house with a truck!

Thanks for the venting! :)

I still have pain, but the edge is gone. Now to get off of these damned medications: DayPro, Xanax, Nytol, Percoset, and vitamins/minerals galore.

Here are my questions. I truly in the core of my soul believe TMS is the culprit. But is it wise to not address the physical problems as well? I DO have herniated discs after all. I know they aren't causing the pain, but they nevertheless can't be a good thing. Should I continue icing it? Right now my plan is 1/2 hour in my spa daily followed by ice to the neck. I will continue my drug regimine slowly easing off.

Also, my back has knots from top to bottom. Today I looked at very expensive massage chairs and am ready to buy one. It felt like heaven on earth. Can I somehow help the problem along by breaking up the horrible knots and increase ciruclation or is this a mistake? I just figure I'll work the mind issue however I can and forever, but take the necessary steps to reduce the amount of stress I have.

I know this was long and I appreciate any input.

Thanks, and I'm so happy to have found this board.
7   L A T E S T    R E P L I E S    (Newest First)
kdw Posted - 11/16/2005 : 12:30:51
It sounds like you have a plan worked out, but I thought I'd add my experience with medication - just in case it helps. About a month ago I posted on this board asking for advice on medication and exercise. I knew I needed to get off the mega doses of ibuprofen and muscle relaxants I was on, but I couldn't imagine coping, let alone resuming physical activity, without the meds.

The members here advised me to stop the meds, some said "cold turkey," while others suggested "weaning off" them. Dave told me to switch to Tylonol, at the very least, to give my stomach a break from the ibuprofen. I immediately switched and my stomach pain went away. I tried to cut back on the muscle relaxants, but simply found the whole thing too painful.

Then I got angry, thinking about how dependent I had become upon medication, how sluggush I felt because of the muscle relaxants and how I no longer even felt like myself. Before my pain started (diagnosed as a herniated disk), I ran, biked, lifted weights and did yoga. I wouldn't have taken medicine unless it required a trip to the emergency room. My anger promted me to stop the medicine - all of it -as well as all the "icing" I was doing and "resting" several times a day to give my painful body a break. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done; I was so afraid the pain would be more than I could bear and that it would never go away.

But I steeled myself and did it, and when the pain came, I focused on something phychological (any one of a number of things going on in my life) and ignored the physical symptoms. It was hard, but I began to notice that the pain was intense at the times that I normally took my medication but subsided after that time had passed. This was proof to me that I didn't need the medication. Over the course of only a few days, my pain gradually went away. A week later, I felt BETTER than I did when I was taking all that stuff. Plus, my mind was clear and I no longer felt like a victim.

Now, I only have pain after I exercise. I continue to focus on phychological aspects of my life and ignore it. It is getting better with each workout. I am completely confident that I will win this battle. You should know that this progress is huge for me, as I had been in pain (without exercising at all) for almost a year.

For me, taking meds, massage, ice therapy, etc. just kept me from getting better. I had to stop ALL medical treatments to make progress. I had to stop - really stop - thinking about how I felt physically, how much pain I was in or connecting certain actions to the pain to get better.

Take it from me, the people on this board know what they're talking about. Read the old posts (and Sarno's books) until it clicks for you. Good luck to you. Let us know how you're doing.
Jim D. Posted - 11/15/2005 : 11:43:23
Just one additional suggestion to add to those mentioned by others: You might consider getting Dr. Sarno's videos. There is nothing radically new in them, but (to me at least) there is more impact in seeing him deliver his lectures and listening to him respond to the questions of the patients in the audience. Quite a few of them have back problems like yours. Good luck.

Jim Dutton
dtburdick Posted - 11/15/2005 : 09:30:31
Those were the answers I was looking for. In Mind Over Back Pain he discusses how the pain isn't caused by the discs, but never really said whether or not the disc problems could be another issue, so I wasn't sure.

I am 100% behind the TMS diagnosis. I can't tell you how perfectly he describes me. I was already skeptical of their diagnoses since the pain kept bouncing around and it seemed to me that a structural problem would be consistent. Certainly not moving from one entire side of my body hurting to the next.

I'm proud of myself. I was saving my vacation in case I needed surgery. After reading his book I've decided that is exactly the wrong thing to do. So I'm taking next week off and fully intend to get nothing accomplished. :) Outside of reading that is.

What a great service this board provides.
Stryder Posted - 11/15/2005 : 09:14:47
Hi dtburdick,

I still have pain, but the edge is gone. Now to get off of these damned medications: DayPro, Xanax, Nytol, Percoset, and vitamins/minerals galore.

For the time being you may want to stay on whichever of those meds is a painkiller. This will keep the edge off so you can do your TMS work.

Here are my questions. I truly in the core of my soul believe TMS is the culprit. But is it wise to not address the physical problems as well?

(I'm going to channel Dave for a second.) Do you really? It seems like you are still considering your physical issues. The most important part of Dr. Sarno's program is to reject the misleading physical diagnosis and turn your attention to the psychological. You must take the first step and reject the structural diagnosis completely.

I DO have herniated discs after all. I know they aren't causing the pain, but they nevertheless can't be a good thing.

As Dr. Sarno said duing his interview on 2020... "Yes, a normal abnormality." There are so many people here that have all sorts of disc defects shown up on their imaging studies. Just forget about them, its all part of the scare tactics the mainstream medical community uses to get you under the knife. Unless your doc says you are in danger, you can just put it all out of your mind.

Should I continue icing it?

I think you know the answer.

Today I looked at very expensive massage chairs and am ready to buy one.

So sorry, no dice. That just reinforces that you have doubts in the TMS diagnosis. Go back to your normal routine and just forget about any "special" props. In the end they won't help you.

One more thing, don't try to put yourself on some sort of schedule for recovery, like, "I need to be normal before the holidays." TMS doesnt work that way, being on a time table just increases your stress and anxiety. Some people are cured of their TMS in days or weeks, others take longer. Everyone is different. Just do the work and rejoice in your improvement as each day passes. You will have good days and bad days, minor steps back at times. This is expected and a normal part of the recovery. Press on.

I cannot stress enough how helpful it would be for you to go back to the beginning of the TMS Help Forum and start reading all the topics/posts. If you work your way through the 1000's of entries, you will see your questions answered, and it will help you re-train your mind. Here you go, just click on the link and you'll be on your way http://www.tmshelp.com/forum/forum.asp?FORUM_ID=2&sortfield=lastpost&sortorder=0&whichpage=96

Take care, -Stryder
electraglideman Posted - 11/15/2005 : 08:25:30
Hi dtburdick,

Your lucky in finding Dr. Sarno before you took the doctors advice and had surgery.

I had surgery on my neck, 2 vertibrae fused, before I found out about Dr. Sarno's books. I was sitting in the waiting room for a follow up visit a few weeks after my surgery and I was reading an article in one of the news magazines about Dr. Sarno. Man I was pissed. When I read the discription of someone who had TMS I knew my surgery was not needed. At the time I was having horrible pain in my lower back as well and the doctor suggested I have another surgery. I declined.

Dr. Sano's book and this forum has been a God send for me. Most of my pain is gone most of the time.

I have sat in one of those massage chairs and I must admit they are a pleasure to sit in but they are not going to solve your problem. Your problem is inside your head.

I go to the gym on a regular basis because I think it is good for your over all health. If I have a problem with some part of my body that is giving me pain and I suspect that it is TMS I will work on that part of my body as hard as I can to prove to my self that it is not a physical problem.

It works for me. Give it a try.

Good Luck!
redskater Posted - 11/15/2005 : 08:05:32
Start writing!!!! It sounds like you have been through a lot, and I mean a lot! Get it all out on paper. I really started to improve when I just ditched all the meds. and back apparatus.

I would really recommend Fred Amir's book, he gives some great tips on overcoming the pain and boy if you think you've got pain, reading his book will really put it in perspective. Once I read it I improved significantly.

I also started doing meditation following Jon Kabat-Zinn's cds. Even if you are a bit worried about the disc, doing the writing, and some meditation and keep reading and reading and reading, letting it all sink in, none of that can hurt and might just work. Once you see any little bit of improvement you will know it's TMS.

The spa might make you relax, I use it sometimes, but just know that that isn't what will heal you because it is not a structural problem. I think anything you can do to relax and start enjoying your life is a good thing.

cheers,

Gaye
marytabby Posted - 11/15/2005 : 02:55:26
Most all of us on here are not doctors, nor do we play one on this board. But I'd venture to say that you answered your own questions. The chair you thinking of buying would buy into the issues as being physical instead of psychologically induced. Skip the chair. In fact, throw away all back implements and aids. Get to the reading if you really believe it's TMS, which is probably is. Read, read, read. Then start the suggestions in the books. It's the only way.
All of us here started in a similar way that you are. I even bought one of those inversion benches. After a month I sold it because I saw that it was adding to my false belief system of my troubles being structural. Herniated discs are in us all after age of mid twenties or less. Don't go getting surgery until you've done some work on it psychologically first. Good luck.

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