| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Ellie |
Posted - 07/29/2004 : 22:55:40
Hi! I'm new to this, so please forgive me for asking basic questions, but I hope you can help me. I have read both Healing Back Pain and Mindbody Prescription and I am pretty sure that I am a classic TMS candidate. I have tried all the suggestions for 2 months now and don't seem to be getting any relief. My question is - I know I am definitely angry/frustrated about certain things to do with my life situation which I cannot change and I have acknowledged these, thought about what I can and cannot change etc, so I don;t think it is in my subconscious anymore. Sarno seems to say that once anger is acknowledged it loses its power to cause TMS. Can anger that is now conscious still cause TMS symtoms (in my case upper back pain, throat tightness with swallowing difficulties and stomach discomfort with reflux) or is it more likely that there are subconscious anger-issues still lurking. I have really delved deeply and can't think of any. I would really appreciate your ideas. Thanks |
| 7 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Dave |
Posted - 08/02/2004 : 08:11:14
quote:
Originally posted by Ellie
Does this mean that in order to overcome subconsciousn rage and therefore TMS we need to learn how to stop being perfectionists or at least lessen the pressure we put on ourselves?
Not possible. We are who we are, our personalities are a part of us. All we can do is try to understand why we are perfectionists, to recognize moments when we are being perfectionistic and think psychological. Ask yourself questions, like "Why is it so important to get this perfect? What would happen if it wasn't perfect?" etc. Consider perfectionism a defense mechanism against feeling some emotion; then try to explore what that emotion might be.
For me, at least, perfectionism is sometimes a delay tactic. I'll spend lots of time perfecting a task so as not to complete that task, which would mean having to face other tasks on my plate. Thus, perfectionism breeds procrastination. Procrastination occurs because of a fear that you won't to the task perfectly. Better to not do it at all if you can't do it perfectly. It's a vicious cycle.
We can't change who we are, but we can change what we do. |
| Ellie |
Posted - 08/01/2004 : 22:00:44
Dave wrote:"The rage is a byproduct of the pressure we place on ourselves in response to life's events. Our personalities are such that we are goodists or perfectionists. But the child inside us resents the fact that the adult on the outside forces us to be that way. The reason we are goodist or perfectionist is that deep down we have doubts about our self worth, and/or about how others perceive us."
Does this mean that in order to overcome subconsciousn rage and therefore TMS we need to learn how to stop being perfectionists or at least lessen the pressure we put on ourselves? |
| JohnD |
Posted - 07/30/2004 : 11:10:42
Dave said :"The key is to understand that the rage is internal, we cannot access it, we cannot feel it, and it is very different from the conscious anger we feel in response to life's pressures.
It is important to learn to feel your anger when it happens, and to identify all the things that you may be consciously angry about. But you cannot expect to get permanent total relief from TMS this way."
GOod point, you can't get permanent total relief from expressing conscious anger alone. But, IMO, total relief will come when we express conscious anger in combination with changing the thinking patterns that laid the groundwork for tms. |
| kenny V |
Posted - 07/30/2004 : 10:09:11
Great response Dave,
I could not have said it better myself.
Excellent examples how you go about explaining Rage and how our repressed Emotions effect us in its form regarding TMS.
You continually meet the needs and clarify many important points to new comers as well as others that are stuck and don’t fully comprehend the work of TMS.
You are the best asset this board has Keep up the great work.
May God bless you for your contribution 
Always Hope For Recovery
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| tennis tom |
Posted - 07/30/2004 : 10:07:00
Thanks Carolyn & Dave for the explanations of how the psychology of TMS works. Even with my three psych dictionaries it's still ether to me. That helped.
One stratagy I am finding useful, in preventing my anger from being repressed, into my hot-tub of rage is: CURSING WHILE DRIVING. Here in NorCal, I commute along some of the top ten freeways, voted for road-rage. I took a defensive driving course from a race car instructor and he would curse often at the awful drivers we had to dodge. His favorite was "jack-ass". This is just one of the many joys of living in a state with such diversity, everyone has their own style of driving and makes up their own rules.
The fastest growing bad driving habit is: "I don't have to give turn signals because I'm holding my cell phone with that arm." I am experiencing much relief by cursing at my fellow commuters, in the privacy of my bubble on wheels. Because of cell phones, people just think you're on the "hands-free". If you feel funny about this try wearing a cell phone headset.
A couple of my favorite curses that I can mention here are "MORON" and "JACK-ASS". I assure you, it gets more colorful from their. At the end of my commute I feel much relieved. I've noticed that some of the most intellegent people I've met talk to themselves out loud. You don't have to be crazy-but in California it helps.
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| Dave |
Posted - 07/30/2004 : 08:31:19
quote:
Originally posted by Ellie
I know I am definitely angry/frustrated about certain things to do with my life situation which I cannot change and I have acknowledged these, thought about what I can and cannot change etc, so I don;t think it is in my subconscious anymore. Sarno seems to say that once anger is acknowledged it loses its power to cause TMS.
First, don't take Sarno's words too literally; TMS is different in everybody.
Conscious anger does not cause TMS. Being angry and frustrated about life situations is one ingredient. That anger, especially when repressed, gets funneled to the unconscious pool of rage. But the rage itself is internal, you can't feel it, you don't know it is there. Visualize a child inside of you in a constant temper tantrum.
The rage is a byproduct of the pressure we place on ourselves in response to life's events. Our personalities are such that we are goodists or perfectionists. But the child inside us resents the fact that the adult on the outside forces us to be that way. The reason we are goodist or perfectionist is that deep down we have doubts about our self worth, and/or about how others perceive us.
So there is a deep internal conflict going on. The child just wants to be left alone, accept that it's OK to just be and not to be good or be perfect. But we strive for the latter, to cover up our own insecurities.
This is one possible explanation for where the TMS rage comes from. Everyone has a slightly different recipe for the rage, although most TMS sufferers share some common personality traits. The key is to understand that the rage is internal, we cannot access it, we cannot feel it, and it is very different from the conscious anger we feel in response to life's pressures.
It is important to learn to feel your anger when it happens, and to identify all the things that you may be consciously angry about. But you cannot expect to get permanent total relief from TMS this way. Fighting TMS is a life-long process; it's the breaking of a habit that took a lifetime to create. Like quitting smoking, or losing weight, if you don't stay focused, the old urges will return. |
| Carolyn |
Posted - 07/30/2004 : 07:24:45
Ellie,
First of all don't get discouraged. 2 months is not that long of a time. I am about 31/2 months into my TMS journey and am now very much improved but in the first couple of months, progress was slow and very up and down.
I know I am definitely angry/frustrated about certain things to do with my life situation which I cannot change and I have acknowledged these, thought about what I can and cannot change etc, so I don;t think it is in my subconscious anymore.
The whole point of the subconscious is that you can't know what is really going on there. You may acknowledge that you are angry and frustrated about certain things but that doesn't mean those were the emotions that were causing your pain- there is probably more that you are not aware of. When I first started journaling, I wrote mostly about the things that I thought were probably bothering me about a very stressful time in my life trying to delve in and get at the emotions. However, once I had exhausted these topics, I started writing about other things, like my parents and my feelings about aging and mortality etc. I was truely surprised to find out I had very strong emotions about these things. So my advice is to keep journaling- pick a topic, any topic, then just start writing. I usually found that I ended up way off topic but that's when I got to the good stuff. I remember that someone suggested on this board, that when you feel like you are done writing for the night, write a little bit more and that is when the good stuff seem to come out. I found this to be true.
I also found that random emotions would arise throughout the day concerning things I hadn't thought about it years and I became aware of my tendancy to just put them out of my mind and instead decided to embace them and take a few moments to really dwell on them. I wouldn't even allow myself to just say 'I guess that's something I'll have to journal about tonight' but would deal with it the moment it arose. To me this seemed to be pivotal to my recovery because then I realized I could face the emotion and then move on so I was no longer afraid of them. Now when a new pain arises, I think of it as my body trying to discharge a lot of toxic emotions stored over the years and it 'almost' makes me glad because I know it means I am making progress. Many people have said this but it took me quite a while to really 'get' it. Hang in there because like you said, you are still new to this.
Carolyn |
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