| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| wrldtrv |
Posted - 10/03/2005 : 22:47:19
Over four years ago I had a strange bout of pain that started in my hand and over a few weeks moved up the arm to the shoulder. A dull ache and stiffness. Then the other arm and shoulder. Then my left leg too, a kind of sciatic pain from buttocks down leg. After almost a year all symptoms gradually disappeared. During that year I made the rounds of all the specialists--orthopedist, vascular surgeon, and neurologist. I was evaluated for an ortho injury, claudication (blood clot or blockage), and MS. I had physical evaluations, physical therapy, nerve conduction studies, and even cervical and brain MRI's. After a while I began to feel like I was nuts because nobody could find anything wrong. In fact I was (an am) the picture of health. No physical problems of any kind. But I do tend to be a hypochondriac, noticing every symptom and being afraid each time that THIS will be the one that is real. So, though I eventually got over the problem I detail at the top I seem to have a new set of symptoms of one thing or another every month or two. Many of these things I restrain myself from running to the doc about for fear of looking silly. Instead I suffer with the anxiety until it goes away.
But now a set of symptoms occured over the past two days that were eeringly similar to the terrifying ones of four years ago. The same dull ache in the hand upon waking and gradually moving up the arm to the shoulder. Just in case I might have strained it somehow in the last day or two, lifting wts, running or whatever, I took a bunch of ibuprofin today. I remember doing the same thing four yrs ago for many days at a time without noticeable difference in the symptoms. While today (night) my arm seems normal again it was many hours after taking the ibuprofin so I doubt that had anything to do with it. And now I'm afraid the symptoms will return in the morning.
I'm wondering why these symptoms from four years ago would suddenly reappear. Actually it also happened almost a year ago, but that time it lasted only one day. Anyone else with a similar pattern of symptoms? |
| 3 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| wrldtrv |
Posted - 10/05/2005 : 20:06:19
Thanks very much Jane and Dave for your comments. You both made the same point--that the physical symptoms must be doing their job because they are keeping me focused on the body. That's certainly true. Dave asks why I don't mention emotions. Well, that's a big issue too. I don't know if it is coincidence, but every time I have an outbreak of symptoms it is during a period of extreme stress, depression or anxiety. And of course, these feelings magnify the symptoms because I become hyper-vigilant, noticing every slight change, worsening or getting better.
Something I realized today: I can't seem to accept completely the TMS theory. I tend to dabble in it, especially when I am feeling better, but when feeling scared and miserable I run for the ibuprofin, docs, and other conventional means. From what I read here, I gather I am not alone. |
| Dave |
Posted - 10/04/2005 : 07:34:11
quote:
Originally posted by wrldtrv
I'm wondering why these symptoms from four years ago would suddenly reappear. Actually it also happened almost a year ago, but that time it lasted only one day. Anyone else with a similar pattern of symptoms?
Your entire message deals with your physical symptoms. What about your emotional state?
With TMS your focus must always be on the psychological issues. Try to find something going on in your life that you are avoiding or not appreciating the full extent to which it effects you on an emotional level. If you live in fear of the symptoms then the TMS is doing its job and it will continue. |
| ladyblue |
Posted - 10/04/2005 : 03:03:04
Hello wrldtv,
I was so sorry to read of your concerns, the fear can become so debilitating can't it.
I'm only at the beginning of my journey with TMS so am only able to offer words from an observational view rather than experience so please bare that in mind.
Reading through your posting it does rather sound like TMS at it's finest. I do not think you are a hypochondriac wrldtrv, you mention that you "notice every symptom", you say that you suffer "fear" and "anxiety" these are all distractions and that it what TMS wants you to be a servant to. As long as you are fully distacted you are not delving into any other issues that you may have.
The TMS is providing you with a full time job, it's very clever isn't it.
But you know your subconscious is already speaking out, it knows the truth. In your words you are "a picture of health"..."no physical symptoms of any kind". Bring those crutial facts to the forefront of your mind, tell the voice in your head that those are the facts and that any "physical symptoms that manifest" are to be ignored. Laugh at them, abuse them, do whatever works for you and then ignore them.
I know the hardest part for me is bypassing the fear and connecting with the real issues, but it's working. Every day I'm accessing my emotions a little more. It's painful and sad and very hard but it's so worth it and the relief of having expressed just some of those issues that have been under lock and key for so long is beyond words.
My father passed away two years ago but today I am going to write him a letter. There were so many things left unsaid, that I still hold within me and they need to be free..as do I.
Wishing you courage and strength....Jane |
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