| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| n/a |
Posted - 09/05/2005 : 11:29:09
Does anyone, in the course of their mental work, become overwhelmed with feelings of guilt? The guilt could be associated with either past actions, your current situation or a host of other things.
Also, I read very little on this board or in TMS books about people who breakdown and weep as they become overtaken with emotion. Is this healthy, or should we try to supress these emotions and carry on?
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| 8 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| n/a |
Posted - 09/07/2005 : 11:06:56
Found this interesting paper (abstract) online titled "Immunological Effects of Induced Shame and Guilt'
See: http://www.psychosomaticmedicine.org/cgi/content/abstract/66/1/124
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| 2scoops |
Posted - 09/06/2005 : 11:08:50
Well I believe guilt had a big part to do with my pain. I ended an engagement, 5 or 6 years ago. it was with a young lady I had known most of my life through church. She had a 5 month old daughter when we started to date. Six months later, we got engaged, three months later I ended the engagement. She was the pastor's daughter, so that made the situation more difficult. I started visiting another church, but after a month I went back to the church, because I was raised in that church and missed it very much. My ex's daughter ran up to me and hugged me. We were pretty close so that really hurt and the guilt was pretty high. Any way, I went to the church for about 5 years after that, still feeling guilt, asking myself did I do the right thing, etc. She started dating, I got jealous. I know I should have left, but I didn't, I put myself through too much. So yes, guilt can be a strong driving force for the TMS pain to hit. |
| marytabby |
Posted - 09/06/2005 : 08:18:38
I believe guilt is a big piece of my problem, as I am a goodist, as Sarno explains. It's too easy for me to get down on myself for not doing something a certain way or for not treating someone a certain way. Regrets, etc. it's all part of my personality that feels guilt too much. |
| leegold |
Posted - 09/05/2005 : 20:24:26
Peter-
read some of my previous posts- I have been weeping HARD on a daily basis since i saw dr sarno and have stated such. i have also gone thru a period several years ago of the same sort of thing. it is getting less intense and less frequent now, but some need the emotional release (and some do not).
At my office visit dr sarno quoted a psychologist and said to me "he said, 'if the eyes do not weep, then the organs will'-and yours have been weeping for a long time now."
it is only in today's society that it is not 'ok' for people, esp. men, to weep. it is an activity we were designed to do to release emotional pressure and the chemicals that are released during that stress. i see that my pain is greater when i am emotionally 'wound up' and lessens after i cry a spell.
guilt can be dealt with by 1. making ammends and forgiving ourselves for real issues and/or 2. working with affirmations for 'false guilt' issues (things created by, say, our parents that we feel guilty about but never did anything to be guilty of.) I deal with false-guilt for being late (even a few minutes), etc, that comes from my over-conscientious nature. i will also get into sadness and tears when doing some of my affirmations, and i know that the healing is taking place.
Lee
"A tranquil heart is life to the body, but passion is rottenness to the bones" |
| Calvin |
Posted - 09/05/2005 : 16:44:17
I really think its healthy to weep and cry.
A couple of weeks ago, my pain was so intense, I began to catastrophize, thinking I'm going to have to go to the ER, go out on disability, have my wife leave me because I'm defective - it all boiled to such horrible anxiety (I was driving, too - GREAT!!), I finally had to pull over on the shoulder and just started crying, not little weeps, but huge amounts of tears. If anyone would've seen me, they'd think I just heard some horrible news.
After about 10 minutes, I began to calm down and think about how silly that all was. My rational mind kicked in and all those catastrophic thoughts disappeared. I had about an hour left on my drive, so that gave me time to think: Why was the pain so intense 15 minutes ago, ready to drive myself to the hospital, but now I'm fine. I can deal with it? I mean, I still had pain, but it wasn't as severe and I figured I'd go home and pop a few Advil.
I figured the crying let out a bunch of repressed emotions. And then I also realized that the next time this happens, I have an option: I can let it simply come to a head and just cry it out. I can always go somewhere for a few minutes for myself, whats the harm?
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| Laura |
Posted - 09/05/2005 : 16:11:34
Peter,
I feel tremendous guilt on a day to day basis about all sorts of things; choices I made in my younger days about things, plus all the day to day stuff like "Am I a good enough mother?" or "Did I make the right decision when I said that" etc., etc. I just WISH I could get my tears to flow like so many other people talk about but I can't. When I feel like crying and letting it "all out" it seems like there is always someone around and I don't want to start blubbering in front of them so I don't. I really do want to get to that place and unleash all that emotion pent up inside of me. This is partly why I have taken up meditation, in an effort to get in touch with these parts that are deeper inside of myself.
In answer to your question, I think the guilt thing is very common with most of us on this forum. We are too "goodist" and perfectionistic to NOT feel guilt. I don't think a day goes by that I don't feel guilty about something.
Laura
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| redskater |
Posted - 09/05/2005 : 16:06:56
I too cried when I first started reading the book. I had terrible guilt when my mom was dying and I thought I hadn't been there for her or done enough. I cried for other things as well and it was a relief to finally get it out. So in my opinion it worked for me. I have felt guilty for having the pain in the first place and not being able to do the things I'd done before, I felt like I had let my husband down, especially since it started right after we got married.
I am into my 3rd week and have just about gotten rid of the low back pain that has been cronic for the last 5 years. I still have upper back problems that have been cronic for the last 10 yrs. and that is slowly disapearing as well. In fact I felt a tremendous lifting of pain within the first few days of reading the book and having a good cry!
Cheers,
Gaye |
| Marg |
Posted - 09/05/2005 : 11:36:49
Peter, One minute for my reply as I need to get off to work. 6.00am start. Tears were trickling slowly down my face before I went into this site just now, and were still trickling as I opened your post. Yeah, it very important to allow these emotions to be expressed in tears. My tears were just for the sadness of it all, all those people out there needlessly suffering Chronic illness when the answers are at our finger tips.
About the guilt, quick suggestion.... Just look forward to the future. And make a few changes for the better. See ya |
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