| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| 2scoops |
Posted - 09/02/2005 : 12:01:59
Get Those Emotions in Motion
Release Your Repressed Emotions
You can’t see them! You can’t touch them! But you sure can feel them! Unless of course you have them buried under layers and layers of “protection” -- whether those layers are physical as in layers of extra flesh, or emotional as in standoffish walls that proclaim to the people around you, "don't get too close".
Many of us have been holding back and storing unfelt emotions. What’s the purpose? Unfortunately, the reason behind suppressed emotions is self-defeating. Holding back from “feeling your feelings” is usually how we try to protect ourselves from being hurt. However, the resistance to feeling your emotions when they arise is what really causes pain.
Unfelt and unexpressed emotions manifest in many ways. They may be felt only on a “discomfort level”, as if something is wrong and you don’t know what it is. Sometimes it’s even hard to pinpoint what exactly is the cause of your dis-ease or dis-comfort. Maybe it’s a feeling of dissatisfaction with yourself, with your life, with others around you. Sometimes it’s a feeling of anger or disappointment that doesn’t seem to have a cause. Yet, if you stop and question yourself as to the cause of your confusion, the truth will come to the surface. There is always a cause for our feelings -- it's just that many times we have hidden it from ourselves as well as from others.
So the first question is to ask yourself is “What am I feeling?” The typical repressed answer is “I don’t know”. Just walk past that hurdle by asking another question: “What feelings am I not expressing?” If that still draws a blank, then ask yourself “If I knew what I was feeling, what would I say it is?” What is your answer? Ah! ha! Usually that will bring up some type of response... Is it sadness, anger, fear? What answer do you get to the question? It may be more than one thing... you may have many layers of levels of feelings associated with your present state of mind or moon.
Once you have uncovered the emotions that you’ve been keeping in storage or repressing, look at them. You don’t need to analyze and criticize. Don't judge yourself, blame yourself, or tell yourself that you "shouldn't" feel that way. Only look at them, and tell them (the feelings) and tell yourself that it is o.k. to feel this way. Then, let yourself feel your anger, your sadness, your fear. Really feel it! Go ahead and cry, or beat your pillow... whatever you feel to do (just don't hurt anyone).
The repressed emotions need to come out so they stop poisoning you and your life. An example of how repressed stuff still affects you: Imagine that you are allergic to something. So you push the "something" under the bed so you can't see it. Well, will that help any at all? Of course not -- you'll still be allergic, and even if you can't see the "something", your allergies will still be stimulated. The same goes with repressed emotions. Just because you have stuffed them "under the bed", doesn't mean they don't affect you. They do, and the solution to your problems can be identified even though you've hidden or buried or repressed the cause.
The body, especially once you have made the decision to heal yourself, will always seek to become healthy and whole. When energies are building up inside of you, somewhat like a volcano’s powerful gases, your body will do everything in its power to get rid of the poison. It is better for you, as well as for the people around you, when you clear and release your emotions without “dumping” on others. Those old feelings have nothing to do with people around you anyway. They are your stuff. It is surely better for you to release your pent-up emotions in this way than picking a scapegoat to bear the brunt of that energy, or repressing the emotions inside and creating physical problems for yourself.
Tell yourself often that it is o.k. and safe to be a feeling human being. Many times in our upbringing, we were told not to show our anger, not to show our sadness or fears. So consequently, we “behaved” and poisoned ourselves by repressing those reactions to our daily life.
Take time to be with yourself, especially when you feel slightly out of kilter, and talk to yourself (silently is fine). Ask yourself what it is that you’re not expressing, what you are not feeling... and then go into those feelings. Feel them. Experience them. Feeling them will free you to go on your way unburdened by the chains of emotion that were binding you to your past.
Don’t be afraid that you are unlocking the door of the dam and that you will be bowled over with a flood of emotions. It may feel like that at first, but as the pressure of unexpressed emotions releases, so will the pressure on your self be lessened, and you will feel lighter. You will not cry forever. The anger will not keep on exploding forever. The pain will not go on forever. Once you release the pressure, you can fully take off the cover and let it flow out gracefully.
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| 20 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Capn Spanky |
Posted - 03/20/2009 : 14:46:05
quote:
Originally posted by leegold
..... for me its almost always sadness. ....
i have heard from some psychologists that anger is ALWAYS the secondary emotion- the primary is betrayal, sadness, fear, etc- and i've found this to be true; so when i get into sadness, its the base emotion, not the secondary. i know dr s has revised his thinking about the emotions causing tms- he doesnt just say its anger, but anger, sadness, hurt, etc
That is really interesting! Sadness is always the emotion I experience the most, but I was under the impression that it was a cover for anger. In fact, I got that impression from reading Sarno's books. Thank you for sharing that! Very interesting! |
| Dagnabit |
Posted - 03/20/2009 : 06:23:16
quote:
Originally posted by Kutto
...........................
Now for the site - It is http://www.cyquest.com/pathway/index.html
The introduction is written in an 'interesting' style - don't be put off. Read through the whole thing - it is very practical and very very relevent to understanding repressed emotions and associated problems. For people with addictive problems - read the section on patterns you will find it interesting. I have found other links from the site to be far less useful than the site itself...............
Simon
Thanks for that link. Lots of useful info there. |
| moose1 |
Posted - 09/07/2008 : 08:40:22
quote:
Originally posted by head2toe
Moose
Having read Thomas Stone's book Cure By Crying, I found some effective ways to "jump start" crying. I have been using, www.youtube.com (amongst other things) to find songs, movie clips etc that trigger emotion in me. If you'd like to chat about it, please feel free to send me an e-mail.
Andy
Thanks Andy. I'll take a look at the Stone book. It's amazing how resistant and angry the critical mind gets to anything that makes contact with previously buried emotions. Friday in therapy I touched upon some feelings I have about my dad and my mind responded yesterday with a horrible bout of depression. Thank god I have a close friend who is an angel was there to comfort me.
Best,
Moose |
| scottjmurray |
Posted - 09/07/2008 : 01:07:26
this is good sh-t. im scottjmurray approve this message.
---
i'm not s#!t.
i'm champagne. |
| head2toe |
Posted - 09/06/2008 : 15:20:07
Moose
Having read Thomas Stone's book Cure By Crying, I found some effective ways to "jump start" crying. I have been using, www.youtube.com (amongst other things) to find songs, movie clips etc that trigger emotion in me. If you'd like to chat about it, please feel free to send me an e-mail.
Andy |
| moose1 |
Posted - 09/06/2008 : 11:16:38
Simon,
Your story sounds a lot like mine, minus the 'ah ha' moment in the bookstore. I recently began to 'cry out' what I can only call undefined sadness, after not really having cried for about 15 years! Sometimes it's easy to cry, other times it's a chore, especially when the brain fog is creating it's road block to my feelings.
Anyway, thanks for the link to that site. There's some good info there.
Moose |
| head2toe |
Posted - 09/03/2008 : 03:46:56
Simon
If you are still around, please could you contact me via e-mail, I would love to talk to you about Cyquest.
Thanks
Andy
quote:
Originally posted by Kutto
Hi,
This is my second post here. I did one several weeks ago entitled Back pain chest pressure and Counselling.
I have moved on a lot since my last post and I wanted to share with everyone why and how and refer you to a really excellent web site on understanding repressed emotions and how to start dealing with them. But before I give the address I want to give you some more background.
.....
Please take time to read through this site - triggers for repressed emotions can happen at any time - but you have to know when your emotions are trying to tell you something and be there to listen.
Simon
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| jcharley |
Posted - 03/15/2007 : 13:22:26
quote:
Originally posted by shawnsmith
Unable to find link even when I google. Please always send link when you are posting someone elses article.
*************
Sarno-ize it!
*************
http://spirituality.indiatimes.com/articleshow/17115.cms
jch |
| shawnsmith |
Posted - 03/15/2007 : 12:55:41
Unable to find link even when I google. Please always send link when you are posting someone elses article.
*************
Sarno-ize it!
************* |
| jcharley |
Posted - 03/15/2007 : 07:27:05
quote:
Originally posted by spacegirl74
2scoops,
could you please tell me who the author of this article is?
Search (googled "Get Those Emotions in Motion") attributes this to Deepak Chopra.
jch |
| spacegirl74 |
Posted - 03/15/2007 : 03:45:47
2scoops,
could you please tell me who the author of this article is? |
| DitaH |
Posted - 02/14/2007 : 06:50:43
This is a great post. I'm going to print it out and read it often. Thanks!
Andrew |
| spacegirl74 |
Posted - 02/07/2007 : 01:59:20
Karen and Armchairlinguist,
thank you very much for your feedback. I promise I will try my best not to judge myself and to be gentle with myself. My therapist says I have to embrace my inner child and reassure her, but be firm with her. I guess this will be part of the embrace.
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| armchairlinguist |
Posted - 02/06/2007 : 15:58:42
Spacegirl, I think most of us have had to overcome our tendency of judging ourselves. I have made some progress by just trying it persistently. Say to yourself words like "It's okay to feel this way". Try to listen with your inner child's perspective to get a response. Sometimes the response can be quite strong. You might feel sad, relieved, cry. People so rarely say these things to us. You might still disbelieve yourself at first, so your reaction would be skeptical. That's okay, just say "I know you don't believe me yet but it's really okay." Try to keep saying it. Or pretend you are a good friend of yours and comfort you. Gradually by doing things like this I was able to come in contact with the part of myself I locked off, the part that really believed it was okay to be me.
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Wherever you go, there you are. |
| Singer_Artist |
Posted - 02/06/2007 : 10:32:06
Spacegirl,
Don't be so hard on yourself! We are all only human..And all of our emotions are valid, as long as we don't hurt others with them...which, unfortunately..MANY people do. The trick is to find a way to release these feelings without dumping them on someone else, which is exactly what this article talks about..I have been on the receiving end of someone releasing their anger about someone/something else..most likely from some other time and place even..We all have..It isn't pleasant, but it is part of life..Again..be gentle with yourself!
Hugs and blessings,
Karen |
| Singer_Artist |
Posted - 02/06/2007 : 10:27:50
Great article 2scoops...Thank you for sharing it with us!
Blessings,
Karen |
| spacegirl74 |
Posted - 02/06/2007 : 08:48:42
I found this thread today while on a search for tips about journaling. Thank you for posting this article, it is very enlightening.
I have a problem, though. When the article says "do not judge yourself...tell yourself it's ok to feel that way", I can't picture me doing that. One of my personality traits is to expect a lot of myself, to be perfect, to be liked by everyone, etc. I'm afraid to write down my thoughts and, when reading them, think "What an horrible person I am!"
Did anyone else have the same problem and overcome it? |
| Kristin |
Posted - 10/09/2006 : 12:09:36
Thank you Simon. I can see that this could be very useful as a supplement for TMS work. It's already got me thinking differently after reading through a portion of it. |
| Kutto |
Posted - 10/08/2006 : 05:42:43
Hi,
This is my second post here. I did one several weeks ago entitled Back pain chest pressure and Counselling.
I have moved on a lot since my last post and I wanted to share with everyone why and how and refer you to a really excellent web site on understanding repressed emotions and how to start dealing with them. But before I give the address I want to give you some more background.
I wanted to contribute under this post because of my discovery two months ago (less than one week after my first post) of VERY old repressed emotions. Starting to release and work with these and other emotions has lead to huge improvements right throughout my life not just in regard to back pain.
I am 31 now and the emotions I have repressed I believe go back to least 3 -5 years old - quite possibly before my actual memory starts. The emotional memory goes all the way back...
I still have a very long way to go but firmly believe I am on the road to recovery and the improvements in my well being in the last two months have been remarkable including huge relief of back pain and no depression / OCD. I have also stopped taking anti depressants that I have been on for 10 years. I have tried to stop several times before and been back on really quickly and been really distressed soon after I stop taking them including relapses into OCD. I have found as I have stopped taking them my emotions have really intensified but I am, unlike before, in a position to process them properly.
I have suffered very greatly with OCD for the past ten years and my counsellor (not an OCD counsellor) once told me repressed emotions were the cause of 70-80% of mental illness. At the time I absolutely did not believe him. Now I do.
I discovered this web site several months ago - my counsellor (over 12 months ago) said he strongly believed I had repressed emotions. I really tried to believe this, the concept was new to me at the time, and find them but couldn't 'find' anything, not for months and months and I was really struggling to believe him.
I was doing some internet searches on repressed emotions and this was by far the best site I found - I was floundering at the time, very depressed and not knowing where I was going. Reading it really gave me insight into repressed emotions and how long it can take for repressed emotions to surface no matter how much you believe they are there or how much you want to release them. Description of the symptoms and reassurance that repressed emotions can take a very long time to surface really convinced me (correctly it turns out) that repressed emotions were in fact my primary health problem. This was in mid may this year.
About two months ago (mid august) I had an experience that really opened up my emotions. I mean they really bowled me over. I was in a bookshop browsing books on emtional neglect as a child and realised it was me. Without going through all the gory details I realised that I had huge issues with both my parents and that as I child I was very emotionally distressed and confused and emotionally starved in certain ways. I suddenly had huge emotional recollection of repressed sadness, waves and waves of powerful emotion that just rolled over me - for about two days... A dam wall really broke. It is important to say these feeling were not particularly distressing but extremely powerful and their release was hugely relieving but it was only the beginning.
On this day I was just in a bookshop going about my business - admittedly looking at books on emotional issues but I really had no idea - it just hit me all of a sudden.
There were no specific memories associated with these feelings at the time - just a feeling that they were about me and the world I grew up in and they were old - very, very old.
Although it has not been plain sailing since then I can tell you I have gained great insights into myself, my life and the relationships in my life through crying these feelings out - crying every day. I have made huge strides in counselling where for about a year I had made none.
My emotions are far more open now but they still close up periodically and I have only really just started this journey. What is worth noting here is that I either feel emotional and have little to no or I am much more numb and get back pain. I don't have and back pain of note while I feel my emotions and I don't feel my emotions when I am suffering bad back pain. I have either one or the other.
I am learning to trust my emotions again and it takes time - a lot of time.
Now for the site - It is http://www.cyquest.com/pathway/index.html
The introduction is written in an 'interesting' style - don't be put off. Read through the whole thing - it is very practical and very very relevent to understanding repressed emotions and associated problems. For people with addictive problems - read the section on patterns you will find it interesting. I have found other links from the site to be far less useful than the site itself.
I think about the words on this site every single day in combination with my counsellor it has given me great direction.
I could be here in a few weeks telling you this has been a red herring and my problems are not in fact on the mend - But somehow I don't think I will.
Please take time to read through this site - triggers for repressed emotions can happen at any time - but you have to know when your emotions are trying to tell you something and be there to listen.
Simon
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| Kimakim |
Posted - 09/29/2006 : 08:37:01
quote:
Originally posted by Laura
Wow! What a great article. I just got back from driving my 16 year old daughter to meet up with some friends. She was crying and wouldn't discuss any of what was bothering her with myself or my husband. I felt so helpless, as I knew something was really upsetting her. She didn't want to be here, at home with us, but rather with her friends (so what else is new). It's a tough pill for me to swallow but I'm getting used to it more and more these days. So, I get in the car and I drive her to go hang out with her friends and over and over I ask her "What's bothering you?" I know there is a boy she likes and I had a feeling it was something he did so I kept asking over and over "Is it something Ethan did?" She kept telling me "No" and wouldn't tell me. Then, her friend calls and she starts crying and spilling everything to her friend, which made me all the sadder. It's so hard as a mother, being so close to your daughters and then finding yourself outside the loop. So, I drop her off and I fight back the tears all the way home. Then, my husband asks what happened and I tell him. I wanted to cry my eyes out and express to him my sadness over feeling like my only role in my daughters' lives is to chauffeur them, hand out money, etc. However, I didn't. I held it all in, as if I were a weak person to cry. Now, I come in the house and read this and it makes me kick myself for not letting the tears flow like I should have. I think I hold things in a great deal and that's probably the reason for 99% of my health problems.
Thank you for this article. It has just reminded me to get in touch with my emotions and that when I need to cry I should just do it and not worry what anyone thinks.
Laura
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