| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| molomaf |
Posted - 08/22/2005 : 10:45:41
I received this today from a relative and it was so moving and so true that I wanted to pass it on to this forum.
Michele
Accepting Powerlessness
Since I've been a child, I've been in an antagonistic relationship with
an important emotional part of myself: my feelings.
I have consistently tried to either ignore,
repress, or force my feelings away.
I have tried to create unnatural feelings
or force away feelings that were present.
I've denied I was angry, when in fact I was furious.
I have told myself there must be something wrong with me for feeling
angry, when anger was a reasonable and logical response to the situation.
I have told myself things didn't hurt,
when they hurt very much.
I have told myself stories such as
"That person didn't mean to hurt me."...
"He or she doesn't know any better."...
"I need to be more understanding."
The problem was that I had already
been too understanding of the other person
and not understanding and compassionate
enough with myself.
It has not just been the large feelings
I have been at war with;
I have been battling the whole emotional aspect of myself.
I have tried to use spiritual energy, mental energy,
and even physical exertion to not feel
what I need to feel to be healthy and alive.
I didn't succeed at my attempts to control emotions.
Emotional control has been a survival behavior for me.
I can thank that behavior for helping me get through
many years and situations where
I didn't have any better options.
But I have learned a healthier behavior
-- accepting my feelings.
We are meant to feel.
Part of our dysfunction is trying to deny or change that.
Part of our recovery means learning
to go with the flow of what we're feeling
and what our feelings are trying to tell us.
We are responsible for our behaviors,
but we do not have to control our feelings.
We can let them happen.
We can learn to embrace, enjoy,
and experience -- feel --
the emotional part of ourselves.
Today, I will stop trying to force and control my emotions.
Instead, I will give power and freedom to the emotional part of
myself.
Melody Beattie ©
|
| 5 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| ssjs |
Posted - 08/22/2005 : 14:17:59
interesting how people see it differently, yet it leads to exactly the same thing.
Sandy |
| leegold |
Posted - 08/22/2005 : 14:10:48
michele- thanks for sharing that quote. i also agree w/ your interpretation- we are powerless over WHAT we feel, bur RESPONSIBLE for how we act them out.
Lee
A tranquil heart is life to the body, but passion is rottenness to the bones |
| molomaf |
Posted - 08/22/2005 : 13:11:26
I believe powerlessness in this context means we don't have the power to stop our emotions. If we accept that we are powerless over the emotions, then we will not hide them from ourselves. At least this is how I interpreted the meaning. Feelings and emotions are there no matter what we try to do to conceal them.
Michele |
| miehnesor |
Posted - 08/22/2005 : 12:19:53
My experience is being disconnected from your emotions causes pain, being connected and feeling your emotions relieves pain. Feeling the feeling of powerlessness can be quite therapudic(sp). |
| ssjs |
Posted - 08/22/2005 : 10:57:37
I do not think it means that we accept powerlessness over our emotional selves.
I think it means that we accept the POWER to feel what we feel and KNOW what we feel.
It is being powerless that causes pain!!!!
Sandy |
