| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Susie |
Posted - 07/20/2004 : 08:05:25
I have posted on this topic before, but I guess the goodist in me can't seem to leave it alone. What method have most of you achieved the best success with in telling people about Sarno? I have tried quietly offering a book . I have tried expounding on his theory to friends until I sound like an evangelist. I have tried ignoring someone's pain because I know they will think I'm crazy. The more frustrated I become, the crazier I sound. I have bought umpteen books for people that I'm sure go unread. Tt said that he quit buying books and that he thought if the individual bought his own, he might be more apt to read it. Maybe thats the best approach. I have a dear friend that is a surgeon that just had a back attack. He has had surgery before and mentally, that is how he sees a cure. I delivered a book and the videos to him knowing that he would read them. He had a spinal injection yesterday. I'm sure he has dismissed Sarno. I find peoples refusal to listen terribly frustrating. It's like seeing someone drowning and you just want them to grab the rope. I feel that by being so aggresive at this, I probably put people off more than I help. I have a good friend in AA who has been sober for 20 years. When he sees someone in trouble, he simple says "if you want help, I'll get you some." Sometimes they call him but not very often. So----I'm asking for wisdom from the board. What methods have all of you been the most successful in being able to get people to realize that help is just a book away? |
| 9 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Susie |
Posted - 07/21/2004 : 15:10:40
I would like to just say thank you to all of you guys. I take will take your advice to heart. Tt, I am new to tms. Big back attack last March. I feel like I discovered the wheel. I also believe that almost everyone has tms symptoms. I have suffered equivalent symptoms for years and was unaware of the cause. I guess it's like the shiny new bike you want to show off. The frustration is of my own doing and I will get a handle on that gremlin. It was interesting to me that you all understood my frustration as if you had also been there before. Thanks again!! Your posts were very helpful to me. |
| kenny V |
Posted - 07/21/2004 : 11:03:45
Susie,
Don’t change being a tenderhearted person, 
we need as many caring people like yourself in our changing culture and society today.
Did you know?
Most worrying and stress comes from things we have no control over.
Just be careful not to let your emotions dominate over your own well being. Do what you can do being content with your effort,  and learn more on excepting the things you have no control over.
Always Hope For Recovery
|
| tennis tom |
Posted - 07/21/2004 : 10:16:45
Dear Susie,
I take it that you are relatively new to TMS. I discovered Sarno about ten years ago and I shared your zeal in helping others by proseltyzing TMS theory. I think that is natural. It's something new to you and is at the top of your mind. Most everyone we encounter has TMS sypmptoms. When we greet someone we ask how are you doing? And most people will reply with their physical pain of the day; "My allergies are acting up", "I've got a splitting headache", etc. It's not socially acceptable to say "I've got long term depression due to being trapped in a long term realationship I can't get out of", or "I'm feeling anxious because I feel societal pressures to have children and leave a record of my DNA on the planet before I die".
TMS thinking teaches us as much about the thinking of others as ourselves. Sarno has said that very few people will accept his theory and I have found that to be true. Most people behave as lemmings. Their thoughts are regurgitatons of network news, the ENQUIRER, or the NEW YORK TIMES. They are frightend to have a
thought out of keeping with their population-it could lead to an argument and not being liked by the group.
Today if someone mentions their backache or a TMS equivalnet, I may mention that I had back problems and I mine are now much better and if you'd like to know what cured me, I'd be happy to tell you. If people really want to fix what ails them they will ask. I'm amazed by how many people show no interest. It tells me they don't really want to get better. People who really want to get better will try everthing until they find something that works.
Most people remind me of the old movie, INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS. They look normal on the outside but their minds have been robotized. They have lost the ability to think for themselves. It makes it all the more rewarding when you stumble upon someone who has the ability to produce origianl thoughts.
One thing that you may do, so you don't break the bank, is peruse the thrift stores for second hand copies of Sarno. You can usually get them for a dime or a quarter.
It seems that a surgeon would be the least likely person on the planet to accept Sarno--how would he feed his children? Second least likely I find are psycholgists. I had a recent conversation with a newly hatched psychologist who had a hip replacment several years ago. She said Tom, my other hip is starting to feel bad. I mentioned Sarno who I had discussed with her before and maybe seeing Dr. Schecter, one hour away by plane, for a second opinion before lopping off her remaining original throcanter. She just about ran out of the hot-tub and said it sounded like TMS had become a religion for me--I guess so. |
| austingary |
Posted - 07/21/2004 : 08:15:45
The more frustrated I become, the crazier I sound.
You're not crazy but you are causing yourself a lot of unnecessary misery.
What other people do, what they read, what they believe, how they treat their various ailments, all that -- is outside your area of control and, as such, should not be your concern.
If someone asks for your help or advice, certainly you can recommend the Sarno books. But beyond that, there is nothing you can do.
It is very important to understand the difference between the things in life you can control and the things you cannot and to become as indifferent as possible to those things you cannot control.
Life is habits. Your "goodism" in this regard is a bad habit that you can change if you want to.
BTW, this is an example of what I am talking about: Whether or not you take my advice is completely outside my area of control. So, while I offer the advice (since you asked) I have no concern one way or the other as to what you do with it. (Easy on the internet, of course, but not so easy in personal life. But I keep working on it.) |
| kenny V |
Posted - 07/21/2004 : 06:08:52
* I have posted on this topic before, but I guess the goodist in me can't seem to leave it alone. What method have most of you achieved the best success with in telling people about Sarno
Susie,
I know it is your nature to help others, especially when people are suffering and you KNOW you can HELP. This is not a bad quality at least you are sensitive to others and care about things that most people overlook. But you cant get your self all upset about it, the best you can do is give personal account of what Sarno’s work has done for you, share some success stories. Present some of the facts and make yourself available and when THEY COME BACK TO YOU, then it will be the right opportunity to share what you have learned. You have done your part the rest is up to the person to seek help.
*It's like seeing someone drowning and you just want them to grab the rope.
Most people will be receptive if THEY HAVE A NEED, some people know inside that their pain, problems and addictive lifestyle, is the cause of their condition.
I have two close relatives who fall in to this category; one is so bad they will die soon, due to many medical complications.
Do I want to help? Of course, but I have shared many times they are receptive but will not make the application. They have personally seen my life change, going from a grumpy young man, 20 years debilitating back pain to a more peaceful and pain-free balanced life. They have personally seen how my back had CONTROLED me over half of my life. What can be more proof than that?
To present Sarno and his methodology, make a few connections to with related disorders, use the powerful terms such as; conditioning, programming, placebo, and explain them scientifically and make an application to them of how they work. Let them ask the questions when they are more receptive. All you can do is put the bread out and they will partake when they are ready to.
Like Dave had said
“Despite the fact that these people are close friends, I have learned to accept the fact that their life is their life, and I did my part by introducing them to the concept. I feel sorry for them
but I no longer talk about Sarno, other than the occasional suggestion that stress likely plays a role in their symptoms.”
Always Hope For Recovery
|
| MidwestJim |
Posted - 07/20/2004 : 10:54:47
My experience with trying to get others to embrace thinking about things psychologically has been pretty futile. Very similar to attempting to influence others opinions on religion and politics. It is very frustrating because I know I'm right and they can't see that!!
Seriously, I have learned what Dave mentioned above: frustration is only a problem if you allow yourself to become frustrated. When I feel it's appropriate to try to persuade someone on a topic, I usually try to make the argument as simple as possible and present 2-3 pieces of my "best evidence" and leave it at that, asking the person to simply consider what I've said and telling them I'd be happy to discuss further with them if they'd like.
Jim |
| Dave |
Posted - 07/20/2004 : 09:46:51
One of my best friends gets terrible migraines. I tried for awhile to introduce him to Sarno. Finally he got the book and read it. He probably had more early success than I did. He was encouraged.
But when the stress kicks up in his life, he goes back to his old excuses, attributing his headaches to the weather.
His wife also has TMS symptoms in the form of serious gastrointestinal problems, for which she recently had surgery.
Despite the fact that these people are close friends, I have learned to accept the fact that their life is their life, and I did my part by introducing them to the concept. I feel sorry for them, but I no longer talk about Sarno, other than the occasional suggestion that stress likely plays a role in their symptoms. |
| Susie |
Posted - 07/20/2004 : 08:58:29
Dave- What you said about me is very true. I am aware of this personality flaw. I always want people to do what I say and that is a partial cause of my tms symptoms. I have an aggressive personality and I am very aware of it. I also sell for a living so I am probably always trying to sell Sarno. With all that said, I am still interested in how others handle Sarno information. We are bombarded by tv with ads for drugs that help this and that but information on Sarno is so limited and could help so many. |
| Dave |
Posted - 07/20/2004 : 08:41:36
Your frustration is about you. Recognize that and deal with it. What is it about you that makes you unable to accept the fact that people will not listen to your advice?
All you can do is recommend the book. The rest is up to them. Some people cannot and will not -- EVER -- accept that Dr. Sarno's theory might apply to them.
I think it is important to accept that it is not your responsibility to help others. |
|
|
