| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| hope808 |
Posted - 07/08/2005 : 14:34:26
I have been seeing one of Dr. Sarno's psychotherapists for over a year of searching and searching for the root of my TMS pain -- but the intense leg/low back soreness persists.
Dave said a few months ago that:
"....Some with TMS have more difficulty shaking the symptoms, myself included. I believe some people have simply grown up in such a way that they are not accustomed to feeling emotions. Repression is an unconscious habit. Some emotions get repressed before we even realize they are present; they are never conscious. Emotional defenses are ingrained in our personalities.
In order to get full relief, it may be necessary to undergo psychotherapy to attempt to bring those emotions to the surface, and to "learn" how to feel -- to experience emotions consciously before our automatic defenses have a chance to bury them."
I have been working with the pyschotherapist to try to get at this exact issue. However, I do not seem to be making much progress on being able to FEEL some of these deeper emotions despite my best efforts. I know these emotions must be there, but I can't seem to get all the way to them. Any advice on how to experience some of these emotions before they get repressed? |
| 8 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| miehnesor |
Posted - 07/12/2005 : 13:15:40
Hope- I see myself in a lot of what you write. The difficulty feeling is one that does correct with time and the proper focus.
I've found the inner child mythology extremely helpful at unlocking the emotions that are buried inside and waiting until it is safe enough to come out. If you think of your emotions in the form of a small child that is quite scared and needs protection and you the adult as the guardian that is going to make sure that that child is well cared for then with time the child emotions - your emotions - will start to flow. And when they do you will be shocked at the intensity and power of what comes out. I know this probably sounds like a bunch of malarky but I believe it has a lot going for it.
Check out Bradshaw's work. Homecoming is a good start. He also has tapes that i've found very useful in triggering the emotions. My favorite one is called "Finishing your business with Mother". Another good book is called "Healing your aloneness" by Chopich and Paul.
Your focus on trying to feel is right on. Keep trying. Don't give up. |
| Marg |
Posted - 07/12/2005 : 12:14:38
Hi Hope, I am a new comer to Dr Sarno, discovered his work just over one month ago. I will tell you about something that helped me dig deeper to find some answers. A friend (also with Chronic pain) put me onto stones. I went to an inspiration shop and treated myself to a present. The present being a necklace and the stone was Ocean Jasper. This stone is supposed to symbolize Emotional Healing. (It was very cheap) I am a Christian so it worried me a bit to buy a stone when I should really use a cross. But the stone is a gift and a symbol. A gift to myself that I am special and that I need to heal some old wounds. I wore the stone to bed at night, to show my subconscious that I understood that it needed love. I guess it was a present for my subconscious. Anyway, with one of my hurts I could never work out what age I was when it happened. The first night I wore my necklace to bed the age bubbled up to me. I was 11 years old. That secret of what happened to me I had held inside of me until a few days after picking up John Sarno's book.
Without John Sarno I would probably have taken that secret with me to my grave. Thanks Dr Sarno.. Anyway Hope, Good Luck I hope you treat yourself to a nice stone - you deserve it. Marg |
| Suz |
Posted - 07/12/2005 : 08:39:19
Hope,
I have tried this technique - seems to work really well for me. I have chosen to watch a really sad movie - I don't know about you, but I tend to get emotional very easily when I watch sad or really happy scenes in a movie. When I start to feel tears well up and get choked up a bit - I then switch to thinking about something from my past - something I know intellectually is disturbing - what has happened is that I am already in touch with emotions and now I transfer those feelings to something personal. It has been so good for me. At the beginning, I found it hard to express emotions in front of the psychologist. I was very open and told her how uncomfortable it makes me to talk about this stuff and how much guilt I have for saying negative things about my family. I also said that it seemed i was making too big a deal and i felt ridiculous. She made me feel very safe and able to express emotions.
See what you think and if this process might work for you |
| hope808 |
Posted - 07/11/2005 : 20:47:38
Thanks everyone for the questions and advice.
I have been working with the psychotherapist for a long time. Lately I have been trying to refocus on (1) events from my early childhood (such as parents fighting) and (2) the immediate events before my symptoms began (such as pressures at work). Of course, I have looked at those issues at length with the psychotherapist already -- but I am hoping that if I can go even deeper then I may find some relief from the physical pain.
I am able to SAY or KNOW that "I feel angry about XYZ" or sad or embarrassed or whatever. However, I am not sure that I have been able to really FEEL those emotions. I have a sense that I tend to intellectualize too much rather than immerse myself in the emotions. The problem I am encountering is that I cannot seem to experience the emotions in a deep way. I seem to start thinking about some emotion but then wind up saying to myself that XYZ is not a big enough deal to get so worked up about. I would love to work myself up into a frenzy and start crying or screaming about a particular issue -- but I can't seem to get there, I can't seem to get deep enough into the emotions to let them pour out.
I do not think that I have cried in the nearly four years that I have had TMS pain (or the 1.5 years that I have known it was TMS pain). I wind up getting extremely frustrated, almost wishing I could feel enough to lose control and cry. However, I can't seem to make it happen and just wind up getting frustrated. I am trying to redouble my efforts on feeling these emotions since I cannot think of any other route to explore at this point. |
| miehnesor |
Posted - 07/11/2005 : 16:58:58
Hope- I think you need to explore earlier times in your life for sources of rage. Have you really let loose anger towards your parents perhaps for scaring you with their anguments (I mean in therapy or in isolation not directly with your parents). When parents argue in an out of control way with the kids as witnesses it is very frightening to the child. It just signals to the kids to shut down their own needs and to be vigilant to their parents.
I don't know if parents are the source of your rage but chances are pretty good that they are. It is certainly the case for many TMS'ers.
When you look back on your life- when did the TMS actually start for you. This can also give you a hint at what time chronologically you need to concentrate your searching efforts.
If you share with the group more details about your past then you may get more important feedback that can help you make some breakthroughs. |
| Suz |
Posted - 07/10/2005 : 17:35:02
Hope,
I am in exactly the same place as you. Thank you for posting your concerns. I fit in to the category of person who has learnt to switch off all good emotions of love and also those that are painful like anger. In my family, you never showed emotions - if you did, you were really looked down upon - especially if they disagreed with my mother.In order to survive, I learnt to repress from a very young age. This leaves me with raging TMS - it has been 12 years of pain and finally now I am seeing a psychologist through Sarno. She is helping me to feel again. I think this might be a slow process. Sometimes I feel like a broken person and a failure. I am very grateful to know that there is nothing wrong with me from a disease/structural point of view, but i would love to be out of pain. Sometimes, I feel that I will never win - but I know that others have 'cured'themselves through Sarno. I think maybe you and I are in the process of retraining ourselves to feel. This is not an overnight matter.
Dave,
how long did it take you to get rid of the pain? How long did you have it for? Did you see a psychologist?
Also, Hope, sometimes I feel like I rush through life without stopping and feeling. Do you get this? Also, I feel much better after a really good cry! Are you feeling any emotions when you are with the psychologist? |
| yowire |
Posted - 07/08/2005 : 20:14:45
Hello Hope808,
You may want to try visualizing the anger. For example, if you find an issue that you feel you should have felt anger even rage over but did not, visualize yourself being intensely angry in your mind's eye while dealing with the issue. Even throw a little tantrum in private.
This helps me somewhat.
However, feeling the emotion may not be the entire answer. Sometimes, I feel, the unconscious mind is so afraid to let go of the TMS coping mechanism that it will hold on for dear life even if you've tried your hardest to find your emotional issues, or at least hold on as long as it can which may be quite some time. It will give up eventually. Here are some suggestions which may speed up the process.
1. Keep a dream journal. I have found this to be very helpful in overcoming fear. You must learn how to interpret your own dreams. No one else but you will know exactly what they mean. I have found that often times the character that you think is you in the dream is actually from the point of view of the unconscious mind instead of the conscious. Another character will often times portray your conscious mind. You may find your answer here. Don't let this become a chore. You will probably only need to write down the dreams you remember clearly. There are guides available that give suggestions how to recall dreams if you have difficulty.
2. You need to show your unconscious mind that you can be in control of your life. In other words, start putting your house in order. (You may be doing this already, but if not, start). For example, if there are some things you haven't been taking care of, like a financial issue or a life management issue, some debts, or just some important errands that you've been putting off. Start making efforts in these areas. I know this is also putting some pressure on yourself which can cause internal rage, but I think it is worth it. Pace yourself. I feel in my own case, my unconscious mind lost confidence in my ability to be in charge of my life. Doing these things has helped me to gain a sense of being in charge. You must be in charge. You must feel in charge. Your unconscious mind will not listen unless it senses this.
3. Pray for guidance. You don't even have to be religious or believe in God for this to work. I just ask the source or the God of goodness, truth and love in this universe for encouragement and guidance. This works, not necessarily because there really is a God, but, I believe there is a part of the brain that is tuned in to this and will respond. Or maybe there is a God. This has been the most important part of my recovery along with Sarno's masterpiece, of course.
4. This may sound strange, but is there a medical test that you feel you still need. Maybe something in the back of your mind thats been bothering you that you haven't done. Like a test for a blood clot or just some thought that is keeping the possibility of an organic disease alive in your mind. If so, seek a doctor who will give you that test. Give this some thought. This has worked for me.
Sorry for the long post Hope808, but your posts have made me so badly want for you to succeed. It seems like you really have given a solid effort to overcome your symptoms yet they linger on. My hopes and thoughts are with you. Don't give up.
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| celestica |
Posted - 07/08/2005 : 19:27:15
Pay attention to your body if you do not recognise emotions when they occur.
Fluttering in stomach = anxiety or fear
Pressure in head = anger
Aching in chest = sadness
Fluttering in heart = excitement / love / tenderness
Softening of face = moved to joy / gratitude / contentment
These may be different to you. Draw the outline of a person on a large piece of paper. Make a legend colour coding different feelings, i.e. blue for calm, red for anger, whatever colours you like.
Then colour the spot on your body you feel it. Think of how the feeling feels in your body.
Next time you have that sensation, ask yourself what feeling is connected to it.
Amelia
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