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                | Carol | Posted - 05/31/2005 : 17:57:32 I haven't posted for awhile, because I have been struggling with some of the worst pain I have had since this whole TMS thing started with me.  I have been fighting like mad against the desire to give up and go back to the doctor, get some cortisone, take drugs, etc.  I have thought about the many things in my life that I have anger about, and none of it had helped.  The pain just got worse.
 
 Then, a couple of days ago, something happened that was a huge eye opener.  I live in a townhouse condo, and have for many years.  I have always gotten along well with my neighbors and have never let little things get to me.
 
 I share a small front flower bed with a neighbor.  for the past couple years I have been putting in some nice perenials.  Then, this spring my neighbor started growing a nice crop of dandelions, which she just let grow.  They started to spread to my side of the flower bed and I was pulling them up constantly.
 
 After stewing for a couple days, I saw her outdoors and asked if she  minded if I pulled out the dandelions.  She has a bad back so I said that I know it is hard for her to weed and I would be more than happy to do it for her.  To my astonishment she said she didn't want me to and that she would take care of it.  Well - my back went crazy that night and it dawned on me that it was the stupid dandelions that were causing it!  It got a whole lot better almost instantly!
 
 Since that day I have been paying attention to my reaction to everyday irritations and am finding that I am constantly getting angry over some dumb little thing, and then swallowing it because it is so trivial.  Apparently it isn't trivial to my nasty gremlin, because I have gotten a lot better since I started to let myself feel the irritations instead of telling myself what a dumb, cranky, crabby old lady I am!  I am still not going to blow my top or fight with someone if I am annoyed or angry over something stupid, but I am not going to hide the feelings from myself either.
 
 This is a long and maybe pointless message, but maybe there is someone else out there who is looking for big stuff when it is the little stuff that is tripping him/her up!  If so, this may help.
 
 Carol
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                | celestica | Posted - 06/01/2005 : 05:16:16 A great and humourous message.  Thank-you for the perspective.
 
 Amelia.
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                | Stryder | Posted - 05/31/2005 : 22:09:41 Hi Carol,
 
 Good post.
 
 For years I used to eat all my emotions for breakfast, lunch and dinner. My back was a mess for 25 years.
 
 Now I swear and cuss at people every day, not to their face of course, in private, alone, with no one around.
 
 Last weekend I moved and mixed, moved and poured 300 pounds of concrete and rocks 50 pounds at a time. No sweat.
 
 Take care, -Stryder
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