| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| ladyrat |
Posted - 05/27/2005 : 06:14:47
The damn pain keeps coming back!! I'm on my third read of Healing Back Pain. I read the book, the pain goes away, but then it comes back after a few weeks. What gives? I'm trying to think "psychological" rather than "physical" but honestly it's very difficult when faced with so much pain. I had a relatively normal MRI, from a neurologist, so I know it's not a physical problem. I just can't stand it. I guess my brain isn't going to cooperate until I see a TMS doctor and get an official diagnosis. Ugh! Thanks for letting me vent!! |
| 15 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| ladyrat |
Posted - 06/02/2005 : 07:16:03
Those are wonderful suggestions, Amelia! I will have to try them out, first warning my husband that I'm trying to work through some anger and I'm not mad at him or losing my mind. That's one obstacle I find to expressing myself: the people in your life tend to want to "calm you down" or "solve your problem" or they feel threatened by your emotions, all perfectly understandable, but it makes me feel guilty for having upset them, so I swallow the anger. Part of my people-pleasing tendancies.
BTW, I am going to see Dr. Gwozdz on 6/13. Spoke to him on the phone last night and I already feel better! Can't wait! |
| celestica |
Posted - 06/02/2005 : 05:20:24
Here are some creative coping strategies I use with anger for myself and clients (I am a child and family therapist).
1) have a "safe" tantrum rather than a destructive one: stamp your feet and say loudly "I am so angry right now!" Not just once, but continue until you feel better. Ball up your fists and punch the air, and keep saying it louder and louder until you get all the anger out. For adults it is a refreshing permitted regression to the angry rage-filled child, and no-one will spank you after it and no-one gets hurt. Having a witness helps too - they can say, "you're really mad now, it's o.k., keep going" They can reassure you that it's safe to express it and no-one is going to get hurt. Kids can do this exercise much easier because they don't feel silly. Both adults and kids will feel more in control and channel the anger outside the body safely.
2) get some clay and make a representation of the person that makes you feel angry. Bash their head on the table, twist their arms off, yell at them, stab them, what ever you feel. Don't hold back with the verbal or the acting out until you feel relief.
3) Draw a picture of the person or scene that makes you angry...talk your way through it...then use scissors to cut it up, or burn it, or whatever.
4) Draw an anger ladder...a big long ladder with a drawing of you in each stage of anger and how you think/feel/act. Bottom rung could be grumbling and complaining - "it's not fair" "I never get this right". The top rung could be white hot rage...label the rungs. Beside the ladder write self talk to help you climb down a rung - "I am often successful, I need to be kind and patient with myself", or actions, like take 10 deep breaths or call a friend. Post the ladder where you can use it. Get support.
6) Act out the anger, show someone just how angry you are. Act it out with angry faces, jump around like the Incredible Hulk growling, or Chewbacca is a good one too. Prowl around the room, make loud angry noises, etc. Getting parents to do this in family sessions is also very tension relieving and fun. Dad becomes the "angry bear" and kids and moms have a way of calling him on angry agressive behaviour at home in a non-blaming and playful/tension diffusing way.
Personally, I've tried 1, 3, and 6, but I've led the other two as well to great effect.
hope these help...
Amelia |
| Jackie |
Posted - 06/01/2005 : 21:14:50
Hello Everyone
I too am having a struggle....but it never fails...I come back to the forum and pick a string...and I see advice that pertains to me.Your insights are so helpful. I did improve after the first reading of the book. I went from 600mg of Motrin 2x a day to none. I am still in pain...I still limp...but it is bearable without medication. I can't seem to move on to the next level. I am 56 and I can't walk a city block...I can only imagine where this will go if I don't beat the TMS. But I seem not to get over the next hurdle. Am I so afraid that this will not work that I am not trying hard enough? Am I thinking it is better to sort of try and have hope than to give it my all and find it won't work ?
This sounds insane, but I am so convinced that Sarno is right that I have been recommending the book to others...but I can't seem to buckle down for myself.
Thank you all for your posts...it does keep me "in touch" with what I am trying to do.
Good Chi to all
Jackie
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| ladyrat |
Posted - 05/30/2005 : 07:35:03
Thank you, Amelia. I'm glad to know there are other options for expressing one's anger rather than take it out on my loved ones or myself. That's why anger has been so dangerous for me. Thanks again! |
| celestica |
Posted - 05/29/2005 : 06:03:28
Hi there,
I'm in the middle of a great book on anger by John Lee, and he writes extensively about the fear of anger and strong emotions as a barrier to looking at them. It's called "Facing the Fire". I can empathise with feeling that anger is scary to look at because you don't know how deep it goes or how it will make you act. Anger is a feeling, and by itself, will not hurt you or other people if you channel it safely. Taking it out on other people or yourself are not the only two options available.
You're convincing yourself that you won't get better until you see a TMS doctor, and well, if you really believe that, you probably won't. If you erect a barrier like that then other pathways to healing that can be embarked upon right away will be blocked from your view by a tangle of brambles.
Best of luck,
Amelia |
| ladyrat |
Posted - 05/28/2005 : 15:05:18
Thanks so much everybody!!! You're right, I am impatient about the whole process, I'm trying to push the river, I guess. And yes I'm giving the pain much more attention than it merits, since of course it is harmless. I have to keep reminding myself, through the fog of pain, that it is harmless. Thank you Anne for the suggestion about using my fear of journalling as a starting point. I've been afraid to journal because I have this deep down belief that my true emotions are violent and dangerous - no wonder I have TMS, right?
BTW, I am feeling less pain since I first posted - not excruciating right now, just annoying. Reading everyone's posts has been such a big help!!
Thank you all!! |
| n/a |
Posted - 05/28/2005 : 02:33:16
What is scaring you from journalling, Ladyrat? It would be a good idea to make that the starting point of your journal, or better still - post about it here, if you feel that you can. You might be surprised to find that other people's experiences mirror your own.
Your brain will co-operate, but it will need time to de-condition. Think about it- years and years of conditioning in one direction. Now it needs to learn to go in another direction.
Journalling would be a good idea at this time. Write down whatever comes into your head - make sure to write about when you feel good as well as feel bad; think about what is going on when you are not in pain as well as when you are. Get right in and observe every little detail about yourself.
Argue with yourself in your journal. Ask yourself questions. It is surprising what comes into one's head.
You could have a look at Rick Carson's 'Taming Your Gremlin' book. It's not about TMS as such, but it shines a light on the anxiety and fear that are almost certainly fuelling it. Breaking the pain/fear/more pain horrible spiral was a fundamental factor in my recovery.
Best wishes
Anne
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| Stryder |
Posted - 05/27/2005 : 21:20:40
Hi ladyrat,
Don't "fight" the pain. Let it hurt, it will not damage you, the pain is not a sign of a serious problem. When you fight the pain, you get even more frustrated and angry. Accept your pain, do the work that Sarno suggests. Be patient. You may need to re-learn how to be patient again, I know it took me a long time to recognize that that I was driving the TMS by being in a hurry to "get well".
Take care, -Stryder |
| art |
Posted - 05/27/2005 : 14:06:33
One big key for me is to think "benign" as Dave reminds us.
I can handle the pain, it's the fear and worry about what the pain means that's the important stumbling block for me. We're so used to thinking that pain is a signal to stop whatever we're doing, to "protect" the area however we can against further pain, hence further injury. It's an instinctive, primitive, "lizard brain" response and most of the time it's right. Just think about what happens to those poor people who are born without the capacity to feel pain.
So...we need to find the courage to take that very uncomfortable leap of faith. Ain't always easy.
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| miehnesor |
Posted - 05/27/2005 : 12:34:34
quote:
Originally posted by alanc
You could be part of that 10% group that needs psychotherapy to help you pull out those emotions. Sometimes asking the right questions makes it a very simple process. Have you tried writing in a diary to help yourself uncover things?
I'm a big fan of therapy but there are a lot of things to do first as it may not be necessary in this case. The fact that you saw modulation of your symptoms by simply reading the book is a very good sign that your conscious mind can win the battle over your TMS. Writing is a great suggestion and has helped many TMS'ers even with very tough cases to crack. Another thing that might help is posting to this web site. We are hear to validate your feelings and help. But talk about your emotional life not how much physical pain you are in. |
| Dave |
Posted - 05/27/2005 : 11:07:56
quote:
Originally posted by ladyrat
Journalling certainly would help, but I have always been afraid to.
That's it in a nutshell. You can't be afraid to confront your demons. Avoidance is the root of TMS. |
| ladyrat |
Posted - 05/27/2005 : 09:48:52
Thanks, everyone, for your help and comments. I am reacting more to the pain rather than being more involved in it's emotional cause. It's just so debilitating and all-encompasing sometimes, but you're right, I should not give it more than its due. Journalling certainly would help, but I have always been afraid to. I love this forum! Hope you all have a wonderful holiday weekend! |
| alanc |
Posted - 05/27/2005 : 08:38:29
You could be part of that 10% group that needs psychotherapy to help you pull out those emotions. Sometimes asking the right questions makes it a very simple process. Have you tried writing in a diary to help yourself uncover things? |
| Dave |
Posted - 05/27/2005 : 07:51:41
Frustration is your enemy. Acceptance is your friend.
The more you "can't stand" the pain, the more it will persist.
Float through it ... accept it as a benign signal that you are avoiding your true feelings.
You're "trying" to think psychological, but what exactly does that mean? Maybe you're really just paying lip service to the TMS technique, and not really trying to uncover the deep, dark secret feelings that your mind is trying to keep you from experiencing. |
| marytabby |
Posted - 05/27/2005 : 06:18:50
"I had a relatively normal MRI, from a neurologist, so I know it's not a physical problem."
Sounds like you are still looking for physical culprits though, Ladyrat. If you are to beat this as TMS it has to be that you are convinced of the TMS process, and not a physical one. I know myself I am having a few minor setbacks and I too keep reading, reading, reading and posting here and reading. Perhaps a TMS doc would be good for you to see, just to hear for yourself the diagnosis. Try to get to one, even if there is not one nearby. |
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