| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| Fox |
Posted - 05/24/2005 : 15:37:25
Baseball65 said that reading just the introduction to this book saved his marriage, but he didn't get the whole book downloaded because it cost about $50. Well, I read the intro on the Stop Your Divorce website too, and I saw how it could really turn my marriage around as well. This guy Homer McDonald gives some amazing, counterintuitive advice....I'm posting this to let the forum know that I was able to get the download through Ebay purchase for about $15 and anyone else should be able to do the same. I downloaded 120 pages and I've read most of them -- it's fantastic advice for any relationship. |
| 20 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| LuvtoSew |
Posted - 01/07/2009 : 12:15:14
TxTwister29- if you really feel this way, you should tell her. You say she is in love with someone, I doubt that relationship will last.
If you tell her and she wants a divorce anyway, let her go- set her free- wish her well , and move on with your life. |
| techreseller |
Posted - 01/06/2009 : 09:27:48
Can you share the URL where you found the Homer McDonald book for $15? I have looked and have only found ripoffs of the book, not the actual book. Thank you for any help you can offer. |
| bert |
Posted - 06/25/2007 : 22:22:36
If my situation with my wife's daughter was different I would love to stay married. But she has a few diseases. ADD and Bi-Bolar. Which I'm not convinced are directly related to medical and chemical as much as situational and emotional. She has caused many deceitful situations. Too many to bring up. And her mom has accused me of being a big influence for her getting worse. I will say what I did is tried to keep the household safe when they were living here. She would bring home guys who were 20 years old and she only 14 and then deny it until I cought them in her bedroom. Also her online activity cause the police and AOL to get involved not to mention the 5 personalities she had online with total strangers, or the time she put her Ferret in the microwave oven and turned it on, until my daughter yelled at her. It became very unsafe for the home and my daughter. This eventually caused my wife to leave and follow her mom to VA. I don't blame her one bit for trying to take care of her own. The thing was we really get along one on one. It was the situation and baggage I couldn't deal with. I can't speak for her. But I do know we both have strong feelings for each other. And we are both parents first. And it seems both our families hate the other which only adds to all else going on. So my gut says it's time to move on. I have a fantastic relationship with my daughter and won't give that up for what I've partially explained. There's obviously so much more from both sides to be able to get the whole story. But that's not my point. The point is we probably would have a great marriage without the baggage. We were high school friends/wanta be sweethearts who end up together after not seeing each other for 20 years or so. Then instantly tried to get what never really materialized for other boyfriend reasons. We found out although we love each other tremendously, we can't change our history and blend together now without sacrificing other family relationships with our children. Just don't work. Oh well. |
| K2toK9 |
Posted - 06/25/2007 : 21:38:33
Hi,
Came upon this post....anyone read LOVING WHAT IS by Bryon Katie? I "read" the book on CD.....well worth it to hear her explain "the work". Anyone ever heard her speak? I am told it can be life changing for many issues.....relationships being a major one.
K2toK9 |
| Jake |
Posted - 06/11/2007 : 15:28:20
Hello,
I bought Homer McDonald's book three years ago. I also talked with him. For six months afterward I used his techniques and week by week my ex-wife responded wonderfully. It does work extremely well.
However, I finally realized that I didn't want her anymore, especially after I found she was with another guy. As soon as I stopped using Homer, our positive relationship ended. Another part of why I stopped is the dishonesty of it. Its hard to recover your own self-esteem if you are lying to yourself. How can you rebuild a relationship based on lies? Your thoughts? |
| sensei adam rostocki |
Posted - 03/30/2007 : 21:30:09
Not to highjack the post, but...
Marriage is often a HUGE contributor to TMS symptoms. You might want to "save it" for the sake of yourself, your spouse or your children, but that is often the wrong choice. Coming to terms with a broken marriage can be very liberating to many patients and I know dozens that said divorce was the worst thing they ever went through, but was the best thing in hindsight. I know many that credit the divorce as a primary contributor towards their TMS "cure". I certainly do not want to bring anyone here down or suggest breaking up a family. I am just stating my research experience and the fact that sometimes one thing has to end in order for life to begin anew. Consider it balancing the equation... Sensei
CURE-BACK-PAIN(dot)ORG |
| chap41197 |
Posted - 03/29/2007 : 14:03:59
Hello Milo,
I jus came across with forum when searching for Homer mcDonald. Did you happen to get the help you were looking for? I am in a same situation that you were when you posted your message. Eager to know about it. Thanks.
quote:
Originally posted by milo
Hi I am new here, but I was after info on Homer Mcdonald.
Does he deliver and if so what does he say?
My direct email is eciampi@nine.com.au
I am trying to save my marriage
|
| n/a |
Posted - 05/25/2006 : 08:17:10
by far the best book to read is:
"I Need Your Love - Is That True? : How to Stop Seeking Love, Approval, and Appreciation and Start Finding Them Instead"
by Byron Katie
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/customer-reviews/140005107X/ref=cm_cr_dp_2_1/102-1793898-9489711?%5Fencoding=UTF8&customer-reviews.sort%5Fby=-SubmissionDate&n=283155
Before doing anything rash I highly recommend this book. Warning, your assumptions about relationships, and life in general will be challenged. The very core of who you are or who you think you are may be gutted. |
| Fox |
Posted - 05/25/2006 : 07:56:14
If you mean by "does he deliver?", do you get the book if you pay him, I don't know because I was able to download cheaper off EBay as mentioned in an earlier post. I feel kind of guilty doing it this way (of course - I'm a TMSer).....The info is priceless and counterintuitive (so you never would have come up with these ideas yourself)....I truly think that it is the best advice ever for saving your marriage and I make it a hobby to read this kind of stuff. |
| almost there |
Posted - 06/14/2005 : 08:18:22
Paintmadman-
It's not clear if you really want your wife back....and for all the right reasons....or you just don't want to pay for a divorce! Now that you have added a new dimension...the fact that you are "seeing someone"....this kind of muddies the waters....what is going on here? |
| paintmadman |
Posted - 06/13/2005 : 21:46:32
Just for the record I purchased an hour of Mr. McDonald's time and used half of it getting some advice for my wife's impending visit. He seems very confident his advice will eventually reunite us. Basically since it was her idea to return and talk about property settlements face-to-face he took it as a positive sign. I will post here to let you know the outcome for the benefit of all. I am not rich by any means but like Dustin said, if it works, it's a helluva lot cheaper than divorce. |
| Dustinkrueger |
Posted - 06/11/2005 : 10:36:40
Anyone else ever use Mr. McDonald? I recently called to speak with him about services.. wow.. $575 for an hour!! That is a lot of dough, but well worth it if he can really deliver on his word! I guess i am just skeptical that he can really deliver. Anyone have direct experiences? I read his book and see how many of the principles may be applied. What do you yall think?
just a quick note about my situation. My wife left one month ago and has already filed for divorce. She is not living with me and has moved to another city, though not that far away. We still communicate some, but she seems very angry and resentful. She left because she said that i didn't respect her. I do respect her of course, but realize now that all the arguing i have done regarding that was counterproductive. Anyone have any thoughts!!! |
| Allan |
Posted - 06/06/2005 : 13:38:01
Any initial thoughts?
Yeah, you appear to be on the right track.
Keep going, or as Homer says, "If it is working, keep doing it."
Allan.
|
| paintmadman |
Posted - 06/06/2005 : 11:01:55
I have purchased and read Homer's book. I believe he has the right stuff. I contacted him for some personal help. His fees are high, $575 per hour, but I am willing to try it. If he takes my case he guarantees (95%)success. Of course we may be living in the poorhouse with our new found happiness. My wife has been in Missouri with her sister for 5 months (I am in California) so it's a little difficult to communicate. She just announced that she wasn't coming back beginning of May. after that I was doing all the wrong things, pleading and so on. She wouldn't commit to anything. Since following the five principles she at least has said she misses me and wants to come back to wish me a last farewell. Ha! Does she just want to restake her claim now that she knows I am seeing someone else? I want to be agreeable but this could cause me some major pain. When she last visited in May she sexually taunted me and then cried and said her feelings were too "raw" to be intimate when I made advances. This time when we talked about her coming out I told her I had to think about it and she would have to stay with a friend. She wasn't happy about that and said I owed it to her to see her (and let her torture me again). I still love this woman after 23 years of marriage and would like to salvage it but I am very mystified by this behavior. Of course there is a lot more detail that I have left out. Any initial thoughts? |
| brokenbow |
Posted - 06/03/2005 : 14:24:04
Thanks Allan. Your latter assessment is correct. It's more of an academic case of wondering. I've definitely become happier and more agreeable. Moving out, setting up my new place, making sure it's a good home for the time I spend with my child, all have been done with an open, accepting and happy attitude.
I've highlighted bullet points from Homer's book and read those daily. I've done some "major" work on my thinking processes and strive daily to maintain a positive attitude, try not to "react" to anything other than to be positive and agreeable. I know that I don't "need" anything. It's only a preference and If I don't get what I prefer, i'm only mildly dissapointed.
I'll continue down this path because it's the most healthy and logical for me. What will be will be and I realize that I can only control how I handle and react to difficult circumstances. I highly recommend Homer's book, as do I recommend another book that you can purchase online. It's called "Three Minute Therapy" by Michael Edelstein. www.threeminutetherapy.com. Amazing stuff.
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| Allan |
Posted - 06/03/2005 : 11:38:20
brokenbow
I believe that you said, "I really just see no reason for her to want me back in her life. Thoughts?"
I have a few. I would say that if this is a negative attitude on your part, you have a major hurdle to overcome. However, maybe I am reading your statement incorrectly.
At first I thought that you might have a feeling of present low worth. But then I wonder if your statement is more of an acamdemic case of wondering.
I read the book. It has so many practical suggestions. Fox says that McDonald's suggestions are counter intuitive and, in my opinion, they certainly are. His strategies are ususally the reverse of what what one would do using normal reasoning. I give him credit for an amazing insight. It is difficult to argue with his success.
There is a reference in the book that says that no woman would divorce a happy and agreeable man. Something like that.
It would follow then, that, using the stragies outlined in the book, if you have changed back to a happy and agreeable person, that she would want you back.
I see no reason why she would not want you back. I would say that there is a strong possibility that she would want a happy and agreable person back.
This is a tough book to read for comprehension. It took me a long time to understand how important it was to separate desires from needs. One can control desires, not needs. May I suggest that you read it again and try to absorb more of the meaning.
Good luck.
Allan. |
| brokenbow |
Posted - 06/02/2005 : 07:41:35
Feedback anyone?
I bought Homer's book. Great stuff. Wish I had bought it 3 years ago. She wanted me out. I moved out. We're splitting time with our child. She hasn't filed..yet. it's early on in the game. I'm doing everything the book suggests. Now what?
I'm not feeling sorry for myself. I really just see no reason for her to want me back in her life. Thoughts? |
| Allan |
Posted - 05/26/2005 : 08:50:33
Fox
There is no question in my mind that today’s technology, particularly the internet (Google), has empowered us all in terms of getting information to help us with our problems. The problem is sifting through it all to get the best and the most reliable information.
Dr. Sarno’s books and this wonderful helpful forum together with Dave’s pertinent pearls of wisdom are a good illustration of the best of the best available when it comes to back pain and all the TMS equivalents.
The best of the best regarding the problems of divorce appear to be Homer McDonald’s “Stop Your Divorce.” My wife and I will be married 50 years next year so we are OK so far, but my son is getting a divorce after 12 years and two great children. Now I know what a breaking heart feels like.
I downloaded the book and also ordered a hard copy for the extra $20. If this helps my son I would gladly pay a $1,000 for it.
I was very impressed with McDonald just from the introduction on his website. He just makes so much sense. You say are normal reactions are counter intuitive. Yes, indeed! How ignorant we are when it comes to relationships.
He mentioned being agreeable to whatever he/she says. He suggest that if you agree with a negative comment that she makes, agree with her and she will defend you. Hard to believe.
A few minutes later I did something foolish. My wife made some negative comment. I thought I would test my new knowledge. I replied, “Oh, I just did something stupid.” She immediately came back with, “You are NOT stupid. You are one of the most intelligent persons that I know, etc.” Can you believe this? Based on this exchange and the general overall feeling from the introduction that his book will be most helpful, I ordered the download and the book. I shall send the book to my son.
I will let you know how it works out.
Thank you so much for your very helpful posting.
Allan.
|
| Baseball65 |
Posted - 05/25/2005 : 15:44:48
Hi Fox
I feel bad...If I wasn't so broke,I'd send him some money.
Just today,I had a "problem" from the exterior that would have become our "problem" under the old regime.....but oddly enough,my wife and I's communication had gotten so good since I read that manifesto,that we actually help each other...imagine that!
We have more external pressure now than we had when we were fighting,but the disagreements are short and//////////drumroll////////// we actually resolve them!!
Part of it too comes from the NO BS ,rake no prisoner type of honesty that having TMS forces you to be.....
When couples fight(now that I'm not in one) it's really odd....it's like some director somewhere says "Ok...you act like the stereotypical male and complain about your wifes pettyness and inattentiveness to your needs,and you over there....yeah you...you complain about your material shortcomings,the lack of interest from your Husband with regard to your daily activities,and his general withdrawal from social life and outings.....ready GO!!"
I have still yet to hear of a couple who don't fight over the same stuff,over and over.If it goes untreated,divorce....if something somehow intervenes(miraculously) they usually end up more in Love than they were before the problem.
My most "perfect" friend divorced his wife for the same reasons that me and mine squabble......kind of scary when you hear the similarities.
I'm sure glad I read that stuff.
-out
Baseball65 |
| Michele |
Posted - 05/24/2005 : 16:09:08
I may take a look at that. My husband insisted we go into counseling over a year ago, which was a total surprise to me. We had been there, done there, several times. I went kicking and screaming the whole way. One therapist referred us to a sex therapist, and although she was nice, I felt like we were starting at the end. I found another therapist who I've been working with since February, who has read and understands Sarno, and has helped me tremendously. Unfortunately, my husband stopped going to counseling and is just waiting for me to be "fixed". |
